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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Venting The Vent/Rant Thread Vs. You Silly KnuckleHeads Can Go Fly a Kite!!

Asclepius said:
I don't know why people who feel the need to talk about their belief in Aliens and/ghosts/angels/Spiritualism, are drawn to me - I am seriously feeling like the universe is mocking me and trying my patience!!! Grrrrrr! 8(:!
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I know. Maybe with me it's not ghosts or angels but people feel they can complain about work all the time hoping that I will interfere but that goes on on a daily basis and I'm so tired of that as I am too very busy and all I can do is share some of the same problems, but not all the time. Perhaps in our breaks. ;)
 
Fuck you man. You're a trashy piece of shit who is so insecure you don't know what the fuck to do with yourself so you try and sneak around, eat my fucking food and try to sleep with my poor burnt out younger friend who just needs to be left alone so she can heal right now. Fuck you asshole. Eat a fucking dick.
 
How the hell do you ship to the last page of these threads! That just pisses me off. I have to keep clicking and clicking. There must a way, must be. Anyway, screw my wife, ever since I told her I have a drug problem everything I do is about my drug problem. Ya! Thanks for reminding me. And yea biotch I was on drugs long before I met you 10 efn years ago! So when you met me I was using. Nothing has changed except im now the azz clown that tried to let you know I had a problem. There is no way she didnt know. Denial much! F my life
 
^Noah, you can scroll down to the very bottom of whatever page you are on and see a series of page numbers, then click on the last one and you will be posting on the latest page. Also, sorry that your wife is using your honesty against you--hopefully, this is just a period of adjustment for her.
 
This a bunch of bullshit.

Fucking 2 weeks no drugs and I feel terrible. I binged for 2 and a half weeks on hydrocodone, stopped for 2 weeks, and here I am.

Gahhhhhhh it's like I've got PMS or something. I've noticed my irritability and fuse has gone short.

I need medication. Something. I have hydros left, but I don't feel like opening the bottle.

Calling my local psychiatrist to schedule an appt.
 
I feel that sometimes it's difficult to report problems to you. The position you have now shouldn't prevent you from talking to people so that we can all be treated accordingly. There's no extra benefit between us, "no free lunches" like people say. And by creating or letting one problems unsolved may become a precedent for others.

You don't have to deal with that shit because you'll soon be posted elsewhere so this will be my f.. problem. So i suggest you man up and do your job as you are suppose to. I don't feel like having a discussion every week can be productive to us, so either you do it or delegate the issue to someone that can resolve this for once and for all.
 
I really hate my life right now. I spent so long getting on my feet after an abusive relationship. I lost a shit load of weight. Became healthy. Barely touched drugs.

Then...then came the shit storm that made me face everything shit that ever happened to me.

I thought moving would be a new happy start. Ive got so bad i barely leave the house unless I'm going to get high at a music event. I don't leave my bedroom. Severely depressed. The therapist didn't help. The doctor didn't help. I have no faith in the medical system.

All the while awaiting the retrial for the guy that has taken my sanity and strength. Made me lose trust in human kind. Made me pile on most of the weight I've lost because my self confidence is shot. All i wanna do is sit and eat bad food because it stops me thinking.

All this whilst battling benzo dependency. I hate my life.
 
^ I know how that feels but hating yourself just makes things worse.
Appreciate your victories, learn to place your energy. Don't put yourself down.
When we learn to forgive ourselves, things tend to be a lot better.
Take care!
 
So upset...I'm working on my Recovery Coaching profile for Linked In to help others personally in my area. I created a new profile but used an older email address, apparently one that used to be tied with my Software Development account Linked In profile so everyone I know got spammed with my Recovery Coaching profile. I didn't want to mix the two, and I didn't want to advertise to everyone I know that I'm in recovery. I opted out of the option to notify people in my address book, but somehow people were still notified. My profile wasn't finished, and I was using a pseudonym because I am still private about recovery, and now feel like I've been outed before I was ready. I know I'll get over it but it still sucks.
 
^Aw I'm sorry.

Shit sucks. I'm pretty sure everyone already knows you aren't one for seeking pity, Moreaux. Don't be too upset, y'know?

Hate it when the noble things we do turn out wrong.
 
Moreaux said:
So upset...I'm working on my Recovery Coaching profile for Linked In to help others personally in my area. I created a new profile but used an older email address, apparently one that used to be tied with my Software Development account Linked In profile so everyone I know got spammed with my Recovery Coaching profile. I didn't want to mix the two, and I didn't want to advertise to everyone I know that I'm in recovery. I opted out of the option to notify people in my address book, but somehow people were still notified. My profile wasn't finished, and I was using a pseudonym because I am still private about recovery, and now feel like I've been outed before I was ready. I know I'll get over it but it still sucks.
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Ugh--that is terrible! I feel so vulnerable when I do anything online. I feel like half my life is devoted to changing passwords and being careful about what I say/click on/open etc.
 
Moreaux said:
So upset...I'm working on my Recovery Coaching profile for Linked In to help others personally in my area. I created a new profile but used an older email address, apparently one that used to be tied with my Software Development account Linked In profile so everyone I know got spammed with my Recovery Coaching profile. I didn't want to mix the two, and I didn't want to advertise to everyone I know that I'm in recovery. I opted out of the option to notify people in my address book, but somehow people were still notified. My profile wasn't finished, and I was using a pseudonym because I am still private about recovery, and now feel like I've been outed before I was ready. I know I'll get over it but it still sucks.
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Oops! You should be proud that you're doing such a wonderful thing. Anyone worth having in your list will understand entirely I'm sure. I doubt you've burned any bridges. I used to keep my problems separate from my work life. Then a couple of years ago I had a drugs meltdown that my boss / best friend was very much a part of. I was terrified that I'd ruined everything, but he stuck with me and helped me through to the sunny sober side. He's a high flying, successful person who's never so much as smoked a reefer, so I wasn't expecting such understanding. Never underestimate the kindness of others, people see the person you are and will respect the honesty. It was a great relief not to have to hide that side of my life anymore.

Didn't you say in another post that you're not that interested in dev work anymore anyway (in case you are worried about implications for your professional life)?
 
herbavore said:
Ugh--that is terrible! I feel so vulnerable when I do anything online. I feel like half my life is devoted to changing passwords and being careful about what I say/click on/open etc.
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Yes, me too. I have now an outlook email system that requires me to change password every 60 days.
But there are so many others, I just can't keep track of all of them. They advise us to memorize them, but how is that possible??
 
i continuously work hard at improving my life, years of trying to gradually move in a positive direction, and then it takes one moment to make a horrible choice that sets me so far back and leaves me feeling so sad. i feel sad.
 
I'm sure that happens to most of us hydroazuanacaine at one time or another. Sometimes I feel we move forward only to go backwards. But I believe we are constantly learning so as time passes we choose the right direction for you no matter how your rhythm is. Sadness is part of life. I hope you are getting your share of good moments as well.
 
Public health care is garbage. I've been in excruciating chronic pain for 4 years and they refuse to try and help at all. I get a measly amount of oxycodone that's enough for the morning. Yet I otherwise literally cannot get up off my heating pad. When I go to the pain clinic I feel like they are drug hustlers. The appointments are two minutes long and it's all about the drugs, nothing else, and I have had zero tolerance adjustment in years. They gave me enough to get me addicted but then cut me off of any tolerance increases. It's the dumbest treatment ever. My doctor is an asshole. He doesn't give a fuck about me, he is in such a damned rush he just wants to see me out before I have a chance to talk. And this dude is supposed to be in charge of the management of my EXTREME pain, my spine is in horrific condition for someone in their late 20's. And this is the best I could find after years.

Last time, I was in hysterics because I had been fired again. Fired from a job I am very easily qualified for, because my spine feels like it is on fire throughout my shift. They used that as an excuse to rush me out and postpone future appointment. I had a lot to talk about after losing another job due to the pain becoming excruciatingly horrible whenever I have to be somewhere 8 hours a day. So I literally can't work, when I work I end up working for oxycodone just so I can be pain free at work. I don't apply for jobs anymore, I totally would if I had 100mg oxy a day but I can't get that much. that's what I would need for pain relief while being active, but not high at all. My life is hell and I am definitely on the edge of completely losing my shit. It's not even the drug problems it's the health problems and they just are not doing shit, I mean I'll take the panic attacks but check my back out you incompetent, lazy buffoons! Most of my friends are partying living it up and I am now a basement burnout because of this pain problem. My life is RULED 24/7 by my bad back.
 
Erikmen said:
I'm sure that happens to most of us hydroazuanacaine at one time or another. Sometimes I feel we move forward only to go backwards. But I believe we are constantly learning so as time passes we choose the right direction for you no matter how your rhythm is. Sadness is part of life. I hope you are getting your share of good moments as well.
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said it better than i could of.

try not to beat yourself up too much. like erik said, "we are constantly learning" gain knowledge/experience/lesson from this and you'll be better cause of it.
 
I don't want to get political and don't care to discuss politics so I'm just going to say one thing:

I am honestly terrified at the prospect of Trump as president. Main points being I don't think he has a shred of diplomacy, he's never held any elected position (not even mayor), and having good relations with other countries is not the same as being good at business.

The other reason would be that it would mean enough Americans would actually think he'd be capable of running the country.

Finally, "not liking Hillary" is not a valid reason for voting for Trump.


Feel free to disagree, but even if a response is typed I probably wouldn't respond further. Don't care to discuss politics, just had to get that off my chest. It gives me anxiety.


Oh yeah, I'm also a major drug addict and that is ruining my life and has been for a long time now. Even with that going on the Trump thing still gives me more anxiety.
 
So fucking tired of worrying constantly. Wondering if a 5-0 is gonna roll up. Wondering if my S/O is gonna return from their run. Wondering when my family is gonna catch on.

If i could disappear and start over, i would. But its too complicated.

Spent almost the entire last night listening and watching for cars because a phone call about 3 certain vehicles heading our way.

I'm just done.
 
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