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The Suicide support thread

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i feel suicidal. my best friend is trying to kill herself on a daily basis at the minute, I've tried to get her to come and stay with me so i can look after her but she wont come. if she does succeed i will have lost the one person that truly understands me. i wish i could take her pain away, id take it and keep it with my pain in a heartbeat if i could. im still suffering from psychosis and all of this stress is just making me worse. i don't know what to do
 
^ is ur friend on any meds? Is she seeking any kind of help? There really isn't anything you can do for her until she's ready 4 help.. I know depression/ suicide well, and @ least for me, there was NO helping me until I was ready..
Ur friend is lucky to have some1 who cares so much about them, a lot of us here are very much alone in our daily struggles w/ life.

I really hope things turn out well for both of u.<3
 
66z said:
Well, I know it's optimistic and while I hate the over-optimistic hype I have been force-fed by others at times, the thing is: without sensible optimism there indeed is no point living. I hoped to have given you some hope and that is the difference between us that I have faith one can change and make a change, and you seem to not. Because it's all up to you, not the others.

Anecdotal evidence, of course but when you have years and years of experience you start valuing it no less than what you can read in books. Furthermore, dry statistics only scratch the surface. What you actually experienced you know throughout, it becomes a part of yourself. To not take it seriously just because it's anecdotal would be denial of reality. And I love reality, I love the truth, no matter how difficult and painful it would be, the last thing I'd do is to fool myself or someone else just to "spare" them. So in no way I was giving you my anecdotal evidence to infest you with some false hope, I was just merely pointing out that I don't know anyone at that age who would still be as lost and depressed as they were back then, and most of them were because I have always been around severely fucked up people. And I mean not 10 but perhaps more than 100 of people across several countries as I have been travelling a lot and staying in different cities around Europe. Not only the ratio of those who had commited suicide or died from other unnatural causes to those who got through it is huge, I can also assure that there haven't been any suicides among my mature friends whatsoever. I think researching the suicide statistics would help.. I bet there is a spike among teens and twenties, and then perhaps fifties as these are deemed to be the hardest times in human's life simply because of our biology and psychology. So my point was to show you that you are going through one of the most difficult times of your life and there is a big chance you will get through it as long as you don't give up on yourself.

What you said about introversion -- exactly, analysis makes human relationships difficult, I totally know what you mean and been having lots of trouble because of this. In fact in some regards I am still disadvantaged and struggle, but like you said, it's ingrained within and can't be changed. And I won't change it if I could. I just try to organize me and the world around me so that I can make the best out of it.

As about online dating, try OKCupid. It's free and there is this interesting matching algorithm, which might work and might not, but at least it narrows down your search considerably. The best part of it is you don't have to be too anxious in front of your computer, and you can choose to meet somebody only after you feel comfortable about the idea. I am not saying meeting a stranger will ever be stressless but you can surely get to know a person through online correspondence to a certain extent, and you may just as well be open about your own insecurities. If that scares them off, fuck them. If it doesn't then it should make you less worried about your anxious behaviour once you meet up.
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I'll try out OKCupid, I made an account and started answering questions. Fucking weird how some of the people it suggested to me go to my school (all people I know to varying degrees too)--it made me really anxious too.
 
i met my ex fiancee on okcupid

she's one of the reasons i feel suicidal =p

also, she's twice been in the psych ward because of suicide attempts
 
sconnie420 said:
^ is ur friend on any meds? Is she seeking any kind of help? There really isn't anything you can do for her until she's ready 4 help.. I know depression/ suicide well, and @ least for me, there was NO helping me until I was ready..
Ur friend is lucky to have some1 who cares so much about them, a lot of us here are very much alone in our daily struggles w/ life.

I really hope things turn out well for both of u.<3
Click to expand...

she is only on propanolol at the minute for her anxiety she needs to be back on anti psychotic as she is getting hallucinations like me. she is under the care of a psychiatrist but there is nothing that can be done right now. she is at her drs now they want to hospital her which she doesn't want but i don't think she will be able to persuade them to let her use the home treatment team like i did. the uk's mental health services are shit. she has bipolar and has been struggling for a few weeks now
 
That sux the uk's services are lacking. So many people suffer from depression or something similar, but when noone is willing to help, life is one giant struggle. Its sad really, especially when people want help and can't get it.

Sounds like she needs different meds..I get not wanting to be hospitalized, but it maybe the best thing for her right now, esp. If she's seriously considering suicide. It sounds scary as shit having unintentional hallucinations.
Keep me updated, I hope things turn out for the best for her, she's lucky to have some1 who cares so much, u sound like an amazing friend.. :)
How have u been d, aside from all this? I know u srtuggle 2, r u ok?

Pm me sometimes, k.. I'm always here to listen.
 
thenightwatch said:
i met my ex fiancee on okcupid

she's one of the reasons i feel suicidal =p

also, she's twice been in the psych ward because of suicide attempts
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Well you could be suicidal because you've always been alone (and always will be) like me. Thankfully I haven't been in a psych ward though. The main reason I haven't killed myself is because I want to make sure I don't fuck it up and end up in a psych ward or such.

Why does she make you feel that way?
 
was such an intense and passionate relationship, and it ended so abruptly.

it ended almost 4 years ago and i'm still hung up on her. haven't had a relationship since. i still feel pretty broken from it all.
 
not recently. i did see a counselor for a month or two after she and i broke up. it sorta bummed me out though. the conselor i was seeing had a daughter that was terminally ill and i ended up mostly shifting the attention onto his situation. was probably an avoidance strategy on my part, but still it was a bummer. i should try going again. gotta figure out who i can see for free in this new town tho.
 
I was in that same spot actually.. I had to go through the county because I don't have insurance.. I do get super cheap meds though so you. It would be something worth looking into, if you get the right meds it can definitely help you feel better..
Having the right counselor makes a huge difference as well.
 
i posted on facebook that i was thinking about killing myself and asked if anyone cared and it seems like a lot of people do idk why i don't do anything for them
 
i know it would hurt people if i killed myself but I've still made numerous attempts. i love them and know it is selfish but once Im suicidal and the yearning to die so powerful it is the only thing that matters, the only thing i can think of etc it takes over my entire body and even my soul. it is difficult to explain it properly, no words can describe the intensity of the feeling
 
Hey people, I wanted to post something positive for a change. So after a hellish week, lots of sleep and sex I feel a million times better. I'm so glad I didn't do anything stupid.. I accepted that I've messed up, had a breakdown but now it feels like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. I'm getting on with things, slowly, but trying. I'm going to put all my energy into studying, and will start making an effort with friends and family and apply for jobs non stop. I'm going to do my best to stay positive, as fuck it, this is my life and I may as well just deal with shit, move on, do something meaningful and try and have some fun.
Anyone who is suicidal, you have to mentally flip off them horrible thoughts, and remember things WILL get better.
 
I wrote a thread but I am seriously thinking on trying killing myself with some pills. Just don't know if they are enough to die without feeling anything.
I so hate not knowing. I want to die, that's it. I am not gonna put the blame over anyone. I just want to quit everything. No more job, no more stress, no more anything. Since I am an atheist I guess this is it.
What bothers me and scares me is if I took the pills and still alive afterwards. The trip also scares me. I don't wanna trip, I don't wanna feel anything. I am not in pain. Just got bored with life and EVERYTHING lately does not go as planned. Is been for too much long now. Don't wanna have to deal with religion, sexuality & worldwide social problems anymore. I give up. I don't wanna anything to do with human beings anymore. I just don't. I want everything to be over.
Please, don't try cheer me up. I just don't wanna deal anymore.
So please, anyone answer me
if I take all this Flunitrazepam I've got 40mg triazolam I've got 20 pills of 0.25 and 20mg of Etizolam, will I die fast and without any pain?
 
benzo's when taken alone probably wouldnt do anything they have a really high l50 so i wouldnt even bother attempting if i were you
 
kace said:
Hey people, I wanted to post something positive for a change. So after a hellish week, lots of sleep and sex I feel a million times better. I'm so glad I didn't do anything stupid.. I accepted that I've messed up, had a breakdown but now it feels like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. I'm getting on with things, slowly, but trying. I'm going to put all my energy into studying, and will start making an effort with friends and family and apply for jobs non stop. I'm going to do my best to stay positive, as fuck it, this is my life and I may as well just deal with shit, move on, do something meaningful and try and have some fun.
Anyone who is suicidal, you have to mentally flip off them horrible thoughts, and remember things WILL get better.
Click to expand...

Very true. I've been back to this thread countless numbers of times and attempted suicide twice but sometimes all it takes is one tiny thing to make you realize it can be worth going through all the hardships (to put it lightly). Even if you feel like things will never get better, you just have to persevere and push through. They can get better.

kojiro said:
I wrote a thread but I am seriously thinking on trying killing myself with some pills. Just don't know if they are enough to die without feeling anything.
I so hate not knowing. I want to die, that's it. I am not gonna put the blame over anyone. I just want to quit everything. No more job, no more stress, no more anything. Since I am an atheist I guess this is it.
What bothers me and scares me is if I took the pills and still alive afterwards. The trip also scares me. I don't wanna trip, I don't wanna feel anything. I am not in pain. Just got bored with life and EVERYTHING lately does not go as planned. Is been for too much long now. Don't wanna have to deal with religion, sexuality & worldwide social problems anymore. I give up. I don't wanna anything to do with human beings anymore. I just don't. I want everything to be over.
Please, don't try cheer me up. I just don't wanna deal anymore.
So please, anyone answer me
if I take all this Flunitrazepam I've got 40mg triazolam I've got 20 pills of 0.25 and 20mg of Etizolam, will I die fast and without any pain?
Click to expand...

Benzos alone won't kill you. I know how you could but not going to tell you. You should reconsider this. Why do you feel like there's no hope for things to get better?
 
Pagey said:
Very true. I've been back to this thread countless numbers of times and attempted suicide twice but sometimes all it takes is one tiny thing to make you realize it can be worth going through all the hardships (to put it lightly). Even if you feel like things will never get better, you just have to persevere and push through. They can get better.



Benzos alone won't kill you. I know how you could but not going to tell you. You should reconsider this. Why do you feel like there's no hope for things to get better?
Click to expand...

Benzos alone won't but I read at wikipedia that with alcohol is more likely plus I got some fake pot here. They are kind of dangerous lately. I wanna die but without the feeling of being trapped as I feel when I smoke too much more then I can take.
Well, cause there's no more hope. I am tired and I want to rest, forever. Where I live when people want to die, the choices are very small and painful ways.
 
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