66z
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2007
- Messages
- 73
Well, I know it's optimistic and while I hate the over-optimistic hype I have been force-fed by others at times, the thing is: without sensible optimism there indeed is no point living. I hoped to have given you some hope and that is the difference between us that I have faith one can change and make a change, and you seem to not. Because it's all up to you, not the others.
Anecdotal evidence, of course but when you have years and years of experience you start valuing it no less than what you can read in books. Furthermore, dry statistics only scratch the surface. What you actually experienced you know throughout, it becomes a part of yourself. To not take it seriously just because it's anecdotal would be denial of reality. And I love reality, I love the truth, no matter how difficult and painful it would be, the last thing I'd do is to fool myself or someone else just to "spare" them. So in no way I was giving you my anecdotal evidence to infest you with some false hope, I was just merely pointing out that I don't know anyone at that age who would still be as lost and depressed as they were back then, and most of them were because I have always been around severely fucked up people. And I mean not 10 but perhaps more than 100 of people across several countries as I have been travelling a lot and staying in different cities around Europe. Not only the ratio of those who had commited suicide or died from other unnatural causes to those who got through it is huge, I can also assure that there haven't been any suicides among my mature friends whatsoever. I think researching the suicide statistics would help.. I bet there is a spike among teens and twenties, and then perhaps fifties as these are deemed to be the hardest times in human's life simply because of our biology and psychology. So my point was to show you that you are going through one of the most difficult times of your life and there is a big chance you will get through it as long as you don't give up on yourself.
What you said about introversion -- exactly, analysis makes human relationships difficult, I totally know what you mean and been having lots of trouble because of this. In fact in some regards I am still disadvantaged and struggle, but like you said, it's ingrained within and can't be changed. And I won't change it if I could. I just try to organize me and the world around me so that I can make the best out of it.
As about online dating, try OKCupid. It's free and there is this interesting matching algorithm, which might work and might not, but at least it narrows down your search considerably. The best part of it is you don't have to be too anxious in front of your computer, and you can choose to meet somebody only after you feel comfortable about the idea. I am not saying meeting a stranger will ever be stressless but you can surely get to know a person through online correspondence to a certain extent, and you may just as well be open about your own insecurities. If that scares them off, fuck them. If it doesn't then it should make you less worried about your anxious behaviour once you meet up.
Anecdotal evidence, of course but when you have years and years of experience you start valuing it no less than what you can read in books. Furthermore, dry statistics only scratch the surface. What you actually experienced you know throughout, it becomes a part of yourself. To not take it seriously just because it's anecdotal would be denial of reality. And I love reality, I love the truth, no matter how difficult and painful it would be, the last thing I'd do is to fool myself or someone else just to "spare" them. So in no way I was giving you my anecdotal evidence to infest you with some false hope, I was just merely pointing out that I don't know anyone at that age who would still be as lost and depressed as they were back then, and most of them were because I have always been around severely fucked up people. And I mean not 10 but perhaps more than 100 of people across several countries as I have been travelling a lot and staying in different cities around Europe. Not only the ratio of those who had commited suicide or died from other unnatural causes to those who got through it is huge, I can also assure that there haven't been any suicides among my mature friends whatsoever. I think researching the suicide statistics would help.. I bet there is a spike among teens and twenties, and then perhaps fifties as these are deemed to be the hardest times in human's life simply because of our biology and psychology. So my point was to show you that you are going through one of the most difficult times of your life and there is a big chance you will get through it as long as you don't give up on yourself.
What you said about introversion -- exactly, analysis makes human relationships difficult, I totally know what you mean and been having lots of trouble because of this. In fact in some regards I am still disadvantaged and struggle, but like you said, it's ingrained within and can't be changed. And I won't change it if I could. I just try to organize me and the world around me so that I can make the best out of it.
As about online dating, try OKCupid. It's free and there is this interesting matching algorithm, which might work and might not, but at least it narrows down your search considerably. The best part of it is you don't have to be too anxious in front of your computer, and you can choose to meet somebody only after you feel comfortable about the idea. I am not saying meeting a stranger will ever be stressless but you can surely get to know a person through online correspondence to a certain extent, and you may just as well be open about your own insecurities. If that scares them off, fuck them. If it doesn't then it should make you less worried about your anxious behaviour once you meet up.
.. 
