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The Suicide support thread

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I tried to commit suicide with benzos and alcohol and I can assure you it wasn't nice. It's not a peaceful way to go. I was choking and gasping for breath and it was just generally horrible. This lasted for hours until I eventually passed out and woke up about 15 hours later feeling like I'd been bashed on the head multiple times with a hammer. Don't go that way.
Please reconsider this. There's always hope. Feel free to PM me if you want or need to talk to someone.
 
Pagey said:
I tried to commit suicide with benzos and alcohol and I can assure you it wasn't nice. It's not a peaceful way to go. I was choking and gasping for breath and it was just generally horrible. This lasted for hours until I eventually passed out and woke up about 15 hours later feeling like I'd been bashed on the head multiple times with a hammer. Don't go that way.
Please reconsider this. There's always hope. Feel free to PM me if you want or need to talk to someone.
Click to expand...
Well, when I do I want to be sure there's no way back! lol Without any pain of course
 
kojiro said:
Well, when I do I want to be sure there's no way back! lol Without any pain of course
Click to expand...

^ I did benzos mixed w/ muscle relaxors and sleeping pills...only reason I'm still here is bc some1 stuck their fingers down my throat..

I'm not suggesting this, but if pep want to kill themselves who am I 2 stop it.. If some1 is truly serious they're going to do it 1 way or anothr..

Are you on any kind of meds? How long have u felt this way?.. I know suicide very well, I had numerous serious attemps.. Not this mixing pills and booze shit..
Pm me anytime bud, I hope u get some help.. Feel bettr soon.
 
sconnie420 said:
^ I did benzos mixed w/ muscle relaxors and sleeping pills...only reason I'm still here is bc some1 stuck their fingers down my throat..

I'm not suggesting this, but if pep want to kill themselves who am I 2 stop it.. If some1 is truly serious they're going to do it 1 way or anothr..

Are you on any kind of meds? How long have u felt this way?.. I know suicide very well, I had numerous serious attemps.. Not this mixing pills and booze shit..
Pm me anytime bud, I hope u get some help.. Feel bettr soon.
Click to expand...

Hello.
I am not in any medication besides a nasty cold that I've got. I am not depressive. I had one episode of attempting on jumping off a building but someone stopped me before I even get the chance to go to the edge of the building. There was not even a negotiation. He went and stopped me just like that. I am very cheerful person and smile a lot. Love to laugh and bring laughter to others BUT I got into some deep shit and I just don't want to deal with that anymore. My problem is money. Having it would solve all of my problems. lol. Pity, huh?
I use regularly fake pot because is not entirely prohibited in the country where I live and that makes me even happier. I see the world in different shades and makes me think and see that the world is fucked up and everything that we are taught is wrong or mistaken but still worth it going through.
I am foreigner living here even thou my parents are from this country. I have been having a lot of trouble with money and always when I am keeping up something comes and struck me down. I have no safety net here since I live here alone so there's no one to count but myself. I was going to update my visa but I've lost some of my personal items and together my money for the whole month and the visa. I can ask for cash in advance at my work cause I receive always one month later but I've already asked before for the visa purpose. I've lost it. So, Just like that. Cowardly and in a very cheap way I am trying and thinking of throwing my life away. Of course I could go back to my original country but the problem is that I won't survive in that environment much long and probably someone will kill me in a very violent way. Since the country I was born and raised is very "religious" and people act badly and violently towards people who are different like me using the God's words excuse. So, if I am gonna die anyway , I rather it to be in a very gentle and painless way. I am tired, not depressed. I want to lay down and be there. Just like that. No worries, no work, no religion, no sexuality worries (since I am gay) , no nothing.
Still a little time to put everything together again and I may enjoy a lot longer but I'll keep that exit in mind! I'll keep searching a painless way to die as plan b!
Thank you!
Ps: I don't care about any judgmental comments cause if cared enough for judgmental comments and thoughts I would not embrace my sexuality and my personality in the first place. So do not waste your time in doing so if someone is to do so!
We are all programmed to think in someways and some morals are just stupid as my problems. They don't really matter. If I die or not and all the comments does not change anything in the universe as a whole!
 
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kojiro, I think a lot of people are simply exhausted by life when they feel suicidal. It is possible to find a way to rest and recharge rather than thinking the only way out is to die. If you start by giving yourself understanding and acceptance for feeling exhausted and drained by all the very real struggles you are having and then begin to analyze what you can change, maybe you can regain some hope and new energy?

The financial stresses of living in this country are sometimes self-imposed. Do you need to live where you are or is there a more affordable part of the country/state you could live in? Do you need everything that you spend money on? What if you were to really look at the enormity of your crisis inside (you are actually thinking of giving up your own life) and made it your only priority to change your life's circumstances to better fit who you are and want to be?

Do you feel like you have supportive friends? Do you have anyone that you can confide your feelings to? It is a lot to go through what you are experiencing completely on your own. Are there any services available to you to get low cost or free therapy? I have faith that life can be different for you so that suicide does not have to be the most reassuring option. <3
 
herbavore said:
kojiro, I think a lot of people are simply exhausted by life when they feel suicidal. It is possible to find a way to rest and recharge rather than thinking the only way out is to die. If you start by giving yourself understanding and acceptance for feeling exhausted and drained by all the very real struggles you are having and then begin to analyze what you can change, maybe you can regain some hope and new energy?

The financial stresses of living in this country are sometimes self-imposed. Do you need to live where you are or is there a more affordable part of the country/state you could live in? Do you need everything that you spend money on? What if you were to really look at the enormity of your crisis inside (you are actually thinking of giving up your own life) and made it your only priority to change your life's circumstances to better fit who you are and want to be?

Do you feel like you have supportive friends? Do you have anyone that you can confide your feelings to? It is a lot to go through what you are experiencing completely on your own. Are there any services available to you to get low cost or free therapy? I have faith that life can be different for you so that suicide does not have to be the most reassuring option. <3
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Thank you. I am okay now. As I said before put that just as an option, one that I hope not to use any time soon.
I live in Japan. I'll explore my options. I don't live in a very expensive way neither. Last time that I bought cloths was last year. I got a very empty closet. I only have my computer , my bike and my piano at home. The rest is part of the furniture of the house where I live. Nothing is mine, weel nothing really is cause when I die I will not take anything with me. lol. I indulge myself with food but is not like I have dinner every night at Ramsey's restaurants. Is just that I think I might have some disorder of taking care of my things. I loose a lot of things. Money is the worst to loose just by accident. Will check that up when its possible. I have a very narrow circle of friends and I am too much proud to ask for any help. What would hurt me more of the humiliation of asking would be they denying the help. So I won't ask. My somewhat BF does not live by the rules so he can't help me. I am alone in this but I think I'll make it through.
Maybe I just wanted to talk with someone really. Was in denial but now I am going to bargain my options! lol
In certain moments I think I wanna die but not almost the time. Almost the time I just want to smoke my fake pot and analyze the world while I listen to music at the park.
As my father always used to say when he was alive "in the end everything gets to it's own place"
 
kojiro said:
Hello.
I am not in any medication besides a nasty cold that I've got. I am not depressive. I had one episode of attempting on jumping off a building but someone stopped me before I even get the chance to go to the edge of the building. There was not even a negotiation. He went and stopped me just like that. I am very cheerful person and smile a lot. Love to laugh and bring laughter to others BUT I got into some deep shit and I just don't want to deal with that anymore. My problem is money. Having it would solve all of my problems. lol. Pity, huh?
I use regularly fake pot because is not entirely prohibited in the country where I live and that makes me even happier. I see the world in different shades and makes me think and see that the world is fucked up and everything that we are taught is wrong or mistaken but still worth it going through.
I am foreigner living here even thou my parents are from this country. I have been having a lot of trouble with money and always when I am keeping up something comes and struck me down. I have no safety net here since I live here alone so there's no one to count but myself. I was going to update my visa but I've lost some of my personal items and together my money for the whole month and the visa. I can ask for cash in advance at my work cause I receive always one month later but I've already asked before for the visa purpose. I've lost it. So, Just like that. Cowardly and in a very cheap way I am trying and thinking of throwing my life away. Of course I could go back to my original country but the problem is that I won't survive in that environment much long and probably someone will kill me in a very violent way. Since the country I was born and raised is very "religious" and people act badly and violently towards people who are different like me using the God's words excuse. So, if I am gonna die anyway , I rather it to be in a very gentle and painless way. I am tired, not depressed. I want to lay down and be there. Just like that. No worries, no work, no religion, no sexuality worries (since I am gay) , no nothing.
Still a little time to put everything together again and I may enjoy a lot longer but I'll keep that exit in mind! I'll keep searching a painless way to die as plan b!
Thank you!
Ps: I don't care about any judgmental comments cause if cared enough for judgmental comments and thoughts I would not embrace my sexuality and my personality in the first place. So do not waste your time in doing so if someone is to do so!
We are all programmed to think in someways and some morals are just stupid as my problems. They don't really matter. If I die or not and all the comments does not change anything in the universe as a whole!
Click to expand...


Let me start out by saying in my real life, a gay couples is one of my closest friends. My mother is also gay, so if any1 wants to give u any kind of judgement, ill gladly track them down and beat their ass 4 u!! Ignorant fuckers...ones sexuality is their own business and NOONE elses..

Money is the root of all evil, it gets me down 2.. I work very hard for very little pay. Its sad when u work so hard and still can't pay your bills.. I know how u feel.
I hope things get easier for you..
 
sconnie420 said:
Let me start out by saying in my real life, a gay couples is one of my closest friends. My mother is also gay, so if any1 wants to give u any kind of judgement, ill gladly track them down and beat their ass 4 u!! Ignorant fuckers...ones sexuality is their own business and NOONE elses..

Money is the root of all evil, it gets me down 2.. I work very hard for very little pay. Its sad when u work so hard and still can't pay your bills.. I know how u feel.
I hope things get easier for you..
Click to expand...

Thanks, even if someone judge me by being gay that does not bothers me anymore as used to.
I think what bothers me is that when something goes wrong I am not having so many options. That's all. Carrying a lot of other things that I didn't say before in my back is too much responsibility for one person, at least for me. I am not that mature and I've chosen a path that I shouldn't have to.
but for now I am really okay, I am not gonna do that. I am not against suicide either. I doubt myself lately a lot in many aspects cause we were programmed to react like this in front of suicide but even here in Japan in a very fair away era the elderly willingly would go to the mountains to die there and give their space to the youngest in the villages. I guess this kind of reaction is more likely because we have a very strong influence of religious dogmas in our culture now. That's all. Death is something that naturally or not will come to everyone and is just one of a bunch of mysteries that life holds. Even when I am not sad or in despair I kind have a very curious interest in death or what it holds afterwards.
Thanks anyway , I appreciate the words of encouragement.
 
Im glad you are sounding better i was worried you were going to make yourself ill with all of the tablets.
 
actually a friend gave me to get stoned but not even like that I wanted to swallow them. I read at wikipedia some of the effects and did not like what was written. Wikipedia was kind of "alarmist" so did not get interested. I like much more my synthetic hemp, when I don't overdo off course, cause I get a feeling of being trapped in a very narrow world in a very fast speed that I can't quite follow. I don't use even for my insomnia. Don't think it will solve that.
Getting ill was one of my worries too. Don't wanna become someone with some disability depending on my mom or some relative.
 
@ kojiro~ I hope ur okay, and if ur ever not just shoot me a pm..

I , Also, am not against suicide.. I really don't care what some1's religion says about it( not trying to sound bitchy), but I don't care about religion. I tend 2 walk away from people who start their preaching shit @ me.

I can feel what u mean about carrying responsibility, and what not. I do that myself w/ my family. it's a long hot mess that I'd gladly pm u if u cared 2 hear, just not 4 every1..

I took a little Japanese in high school, I <3'd it.

idk anything about the synthetic cannabis stuff, I only mess w/ the real thing..
 
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sconnie420 said:
@ kojiro~ I hope ur okay, and if ur ever not just shoot me a pm..

I , Also, am not against suicide.. I really don't care what some1's religion says about it( not trying to sound bitchy), but I don't care about religion. I tend 2 walk away from people who start their preaching shit @ me.

I can feel what u mean about carrying responsibility, and what not. I do that myself w/ my family. it's a long hot mess that I'd gladly pm u if u cared 2 hear, just not 4 every1..

I took a little Japanese in high school, I <3'd it.

idk anything about the synthetic cannabis stuff, I only mess w/ the real thing..
Click to expand...

Gonna try to unblock my pms. XD
じゃあ　日本語で書いても理解できますよね？（笑）(So , I can write in japanese cause you will understand, right?)(lol)

about the synthetic stuff guess will have to jump to the cannabis discussion thread to talk bout that! ;)
Be waiting there
 
If I did a lil refreshing, I could probably remember the kanji.. I've been out of school longer then I care to admit, but I enjoy language. I always wished I was multi lingual, but alas nope.. Hehe

Yeah, you'll find me in the CD also.. Just not in the synthetic threads, bc I haven't done. Don't really care 2, I <3 <3 <3 the real thing waaayyy 2 much.. :D
 
I speak the language which I was raised with , Japanese, English (just a bit), a little of italian and spanish (cause they are similar to each other so it is easy to learn)
but I can not function very well when I am tripping XD
 
That's really impressive, I'm jealous.. :) I need to invest in some Rosetta stone.. Lol.
English is it for me.. I wish I knew german.
 
i wish i had a doctor that would prescribe the dosage of drugs i need due to tolerance i get a lot of drugs but my tolerance is way higher than what i get
 
Could u try and stop or taper down for a bit just so ur tolerance can drop?
U doin ok otherwise hun?
 
For those in need of heart warming...

dogfeel.jpg


<3
 
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