Hi, first time poster, been here a while lurking and reading.
Basically, I had 4 months solid on 300mg a day of oxycodone withdrew fine after 4 days then went om the piss for 3 days and rough for 1 day then back to work.
I have relasped amd ended up on a 4 month oxy binge again doing im excess of 350mg a day, i have lost 3 stone from 16 stone amd look awful, getting quizzed by friends, family and my girlfriend and kid why i look awful and always ill. (Healthy overall)
Yesterday i stopped and took 8mg suboxone and was awful, i woke up with me misses going mad at me due to the bed been soaked and dripping in sweat, got to sleep at 4am till 7 thats it, im off work till monday, today i habe took 4mg of sub.
As i write this i am juat so depressed and cant look at myself in the mirror, my pupils are huge, i cant eat, i just dont know wether to give in and agree im doomed forever in this life.
I have a horse races day with family week tomorrow im dredding how bad i will be feeling/looking.
Worst is im doing it alone and it has to stay that way.
I need off this as i cant live like this, but when or if will i make it i dont know, i cant physically see it ending, my son is home from nursery in 1 hour im dreading it due to i just want to be alone for now.
I cant sleep as i get butterflies like feeeling in my chest which is horrific i cant explain it.
Anyway just thought i would get it off my chest
Basically, I had 4 months solid on 300mg a day of oxycodone withdrew fine after 4 days then went om the piss for 3 days and rough for 1 day then back to work.
I have relasped amd ended up on a 4 month oxy binge again doing im excess of 350mg a day, i have lost 3 stone from 16 stone amd look awful, getting quizzed by friends, family and my girlfriend and kid why i look awful and always ill. (Healthy overall)
Yesterday i stopped and took 8mg suboxone and was awful, i woke up with me misses going mad at me due to the bed been soaked and dripping in sweat, got to sleep at 4am till 7 thats it, im off work till monday, today i habe took 4mg of sub.
As i write this i am juat so depressed and cant look at myself in the mirror, my pupils are huge, i cant eat, i just dont know wether to give in and agree im doomed forever in this life.
I have a horse races day with family week tomorrow im dredding how bad i will be feeling/looking.
Worst is im doing it alone and it has to stay that way.
I need off this as i cant live like this, but when or if will i make it i dont know, i cant physically see it ending, my son is home from nursery in 1 hour im dreading it due to i just want to be alone for now.
I cant sleep as i get butterflies like feeeling in my chest which is horrific i cant explain it.
Anyway just thought i would get it off my chest