The Joke Thread - Try and make it funny, eh?

[gayorstraight]

People will stop showing you pictures of their
kids if you whisper "oh fuck yea" under your
breath when you look at their photos.

So wrong which obviously makes it so funny. I shall be using this one.. Thanks max :D

 

[maxalfie]

No worries mate, I nicked it off Twitter myself last night.

 

[Shambles]

People will stop showing you pictures of their
kids if you whisper "oh fuck yea" under your
breath when you look at their photos.

This is my favourite joke in pages

 

[knock]

But it's not a joke, it's a Top Tip!

 

[Shambles]

I actually thought that at the time of typing the above comment but couldn't think of the term "Top Tip" at the time

 

[Pagey]

- How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Three
- Why?
- IT JUST DOES, OKAY?!


Possibly my favorite joke ever.

 

[Mercc96]

Everyones probs heard this.

What do you call a cheap circumsision?
A rip off.

 

[Shambles]

^

In related news...

How do you circumsise a whale?

NSFW:

Send down four skin divers

 

[Ceres]

Before I went to bed last night, I pulled my boxers off.

"You spoil those dogs", said my wife.

 

[Shambles]

Haahahahahahahahahaha! :D

 

[Pagey]

Not exactly a joke but...my grandmother has been staying with us, she just asked if I could help her send an e-mail to someone so I asked her what email/website she used (ie gmail, hotmail, etc) and she replied 'internet explorer'
I her

 

[Raasyvibe]

What do you call a cheap circumsision?
A rip off.

Ha. That made me chuckle.

(This joke is better off being told, because it doesn't have the problem of spelling)

What do Margret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville have in common? They both fucked over more minors/miners than we'll ever know.

 

[Shambles]

What do Margret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville have in common? They both fucked more minors/miners than we'll ever know.

Fix'd. Extraneous "over" spoils the flow.

 

[gayorstraight]

Great fix, much better joke now

 

[Raasyvibe]

^ Some good fixing there, Mr MuttonChops.

Though it would be nice if you added the "Joke sounds better when spoken" line.

Here's a terrible joke that I'd imagine most have you have heard before ~~


What is the hardest part of a vegetable?







The Wheel Chair.










Ooooooooooooooohhhhh oooooooooooooohhhhh!!!





Sorry 8)

 

[gayorstraight]

^^ yes.. My other half is a fan of that joke.

 

[Pagey]

HAHAHAHA
Shit I feel awful for loving that joke so much raas but it was brilliant :D

 

[Shambles]

Izza classic of the traditional mocking the afflicted genre

(which we all a lil snigger at (the jokes that is not the actually afflicted) whether we admit it or not)

Raas: Would've included the brief instruction manual but didn't think it necessary given it was the post directly below what it was quoting. Would go back and fix me fix but would be overkill now you've addressed the issue.

Jokes: Srsbznz. Detail matters.

 

[Raasyvibe]

^^^ MMmmmm... you're clearly not a browse at 25 posts per page man are you.... if you were, you'd know it was on the previous page

 

[Shambles]

I am actually so feel your pain. However, you will also note that it's only when you return to a thread after posting that you discover yours was the last post on a page and is now the first post on the next page. This is how tragedies like the above incident occur