• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread - Try and make it funny, eh?

Not heard that one before Shambles, nice one.
So Batman came up to me & he hit
me over the head with a vase & he
went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean
KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china
in my hand."
 
probably been posted already but just remembered it.

gravedigger was walking through a cemetary one sunday morning when he notices someone making noises behind a tomb stone.

'Mornin' he shouts

'no, just taking a shit'
 
"Knock Knock!"

Who's there?

"Knock"

Who's there?

"Knock"

WHO'S THERE?

"Knock"

Yes I want to know who's at the door before I open it.

"Knock from EADD. You're meant to say 'Knock who?'"

I'll Knock you in a minute.
 
"Doctor Doctor, everybodys saying that I'm turning into Brimz";

Better prescribe you some methadone ASAP
 
Last edited:
ok 4th time lucky:

"Knock Knock!"

Who's there?

"Albion..."

Albion who?

Albionwho administrator by the time you fucking open up!
(I'll be a new administrator)
 
Last edited:
raas_2012 said:
Albionwho administrator by the time you fucking open up!
(I'll be a new administrator)
Click to expand...



That's fucking dire! All the worse for it obviously taking a few seconds to think up!

Plus I already used "knock knock" behind the scenes when I recanted my recent resignation. :D

Yeah I know, close shave eh?

What do you mean "aww"?
 
Friendship between women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship between men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
 
How many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb??


Only Juan.....

See what I did their

I LOVE COCAINE
 
Shambles said:
(and i must admit i was quite impressed with raas' albion one under the circumstances)
Click to expand...

Thanks! Not blowing my own trumpet, but I thought my Albion joke was, at least, mediocre considering it was created within 5 minutes.

StoneHappyMonday said:
You have a thing about speaking to non-existent entities don't you?
Click to expand...

lol u prat..

and all your big-titted, attractive, illustrious girlfriends of the past.

Bog-man said:
Friendship between women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship between men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there
Click to expand...

ha, funny coz it has a strain of truth.
 
Last edited:
So there's this small zoo in Taunton, and they have a single gorilla, a female gorilla. She's usually placid, but she begins acting up, getting aggressive and even dangerous. The zookeepers quickly realise the problem- she's in heat. There's no male gorilla at the zoo, nor at any other zoo or research institution anywhere in Somerset. Something clearly needs to be down, so the directors of the zoo sit down for a roundtable.

"How are we going to solve this Jenny situation? She's our star attraction, but as it is, we'll have to remove her from exhibition. It'll ruin us."
"Well, I mean, she needs a good seeing to, that's the problem"
"But where are we we going to find a gorilla?"

Then, one of the directors, a look of shocked realisation spreads across his face.

"Hang on. You know Bill, the groundskeeper? He's a weird one... I bet if... if we made him the right offer... he might do it..."
The looks of disgust at the table turn to intrigue. It's decided that Bill will be approached with the proposition.

The directors, nervously wringing their hands, walk over to Bill.
"So, Bill, how's things with you?"
"Eh, same old, you know."
"Well, Bill, we have a rather sensitive and unusual question to ask you. Erm... how would you feel if we were... to suggest that you might be interested in... ahem... in fucking the gorilla for £200?"

Bill thinks for a moment, then nods his head.
"OK, I'm in. Three conditions, though:
I ain't gonna look her in the eyes.
I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips
And you have to give me a week to come up with the two hundred quid".
 
OK... ever so slightly better:


How many EADDer's does it take to change a lightbulb?

4.
Albion to *Snip* the packet open.
Brimz to get high enough.
Knock to plug it in.
Raas to show us the light.



Doctor, Doctor, everyone thinks I'm BlindHelperMonkey.


I'm putting you on ignore



Knock knock,

Who's there?

Knock.

Yep. WHO's there?

Knock.

Stop being a cunt. I'M ASKING WHO'S THERE

No... it's the EADD mod... Knock!

Oh. Knock Who?

Knock... Knock-Knocking on heavens door!

 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top