• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread - Try and make it funny, eh?

A man goes to the Dr and says, Dr I'm a moth
The Dr says you don't need a Dr you Need a psychiatrist ,what have you come In here for ?


The man says ' because the light was on '
 
You're funny as fuck strungout =D you've made this thread daily essential reading for lolz
 
Are you insured for sex? Make sure you get the Correct Insurance for the sex you are having. Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes.
Sex with your wife - Legal & General

Sex on the telephone- Direct Line

Sex with your Partner- Standard Life

Sex with some1 Different- Go Compare

Sex with a Fat bird - MoreThan

Sex On the back seat of a car- Sheila's Wheels

Sex with a posh bird- Privileged

Sex with an animal - confused.com
 
At the gym today , I met a lovely girl, we got chatting and she told me she'd joined to get a bit of weight off.
I asked if she had tried skipping. ?
She smiled and giggled and said, what with a rope like the boxers do ?

I said " no skipping a few meals you fat cunt" !
 
I was having a full blown threesome with these two dirty bitches at work. The blonde one was taking it up the arse while the black one was licking and slurping on my balls....Then the boss walked in. Needless to say I lost my job at the kennels!
 
^
=D
<3
%)

How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?

NSFW:
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers.

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

44 to ask what is a "FAQ".

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....


^
This is tl:dr



(I'm not very good at telling / posting jokes)
 
I went to the Dr , and he said strungout son.
You've got to stop this masturbating...
I said , " why doc"
He said , " I really need to examine you and take your blood pressure".
 
Knock knock.......

Knock knock.......

Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock....

Hurry up Whitney, I need a shit.
 
For all you fat / chunky girls , that didn't get a valentine card ....

Don't worry about it,

At least you had pancake day ,to drown your sorrows ...
 
Hawhahwhahwhaahaaa =D

I promise never to take part again stung'...no point taking space up that the talent can use ;)
 
This one'll hit a nerve

CRW_jay_a_reaction.png




In other news, I don't know what "Swagger" is but I know Justin Bieber and Cher Lloyd both claim to have it so I'm assuming it's not talent.
 
Last edited:
How many police does it take to change a lightbulb?

None they just beat the room for being black.


Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone, but when she bent over Rover took over and the bitch got a bone of her own :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top