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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The GHB/GBL Addiction & Withdrawal Thread

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I'm a complete and utter fucking mess at the moment. I'm running out of benzos, in fact I pretty much have run out. I've got xanax but I don't want to complicate things further and shouldn't have started taking them.

last night I had a few cans of stella just to try get rid of my anxiousness and help sleep. I couldn't sleep though so had 2.5mg nitrazepam, this did nothing. I had another 2.5mg nitrazepam and managed to sleep. Woke up today feeling unwell (not hungover) and decided to try just spend the day in bed. I cannot cope with the constant sleep paralysis and weird dreams. I keep thinking things have happened and I'm unaware of whwether they have because my dreams are so vivid. Today I dreamed my Dad had come in my room and started asking me what drugs I'd be taking for all this to happen yet I thought this actually happned for a while.

In one of my bouts of sleep paralysis there was a fucking massive spider on the wall and I was unable to move to get away. I've had that before. The weird thing with sleep paralysis is it's hard to tell what you've completely imagined and what is real. I seem to get three different types - the first classic one where I simply am mentally awake but cannot move or shout out. the second one is the same except often accompanied with various visuals or hallucinations. Finally, I sometimes think I just completely dream its happening, I don't actually wake up at all. I just dream that I'm awake and cannot move when actually I'm sound asleep.

I want to try just get through the week, maybe have a few drinks a night. How the FUCK did things get to this? I fucking despise drugs now. Certain people just fail hard at substance abuse.

Ps - I did manage to sleep solidly from last night to this morning - the disturbed dreams and sleep paralysis started say 10am through to about now (just after 1pm), maybe I've had enough sleep and my body is telling my something. I honestly just wish I could time travel to a week in the fucking future and everything would be sorted. Well it wouldn't be, but my gaba related issues would be cleared up a bit.

wish I never discovered GBL, before it I was never an everyday drug user. In fact previous to it I very rarely ever did drugs during the week, a rule I was I stuck to.

where do I go from here? I could maybe get more nitrazepam.
 
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loulou reed said:
These are pretty low doses except for the Xanax. I have some Xanax a friend gave me, some .25mg, so that looks like nothing, but I made a bad habit of taking three a day since wednesday, and I experienced mild anxiety before taking a pill today. Those fuckers are nothing to play with. Anyway good luck with your detox, I think if you're careful with the Xanax, you can taper the benzos quite easily. Don't forget there are some plant extracts which work very good, I thought Chamomille was a tea for the elderly 'till I read about it on BL.
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Tbh, on the one hand I'm maybe blowing this out of proportion. But I drink quite a bit and am a former frequent GBL user and know much GABA use is cross tolerant. So I'm worried.

Just take 1 day at a time I guess. I'm thinking of getting a litre of vodka and maybe having a little every night for the next few nights but I'll probably end up having loads one night 8)
 
I am GBL clean. But theres some meds in me.
Was all ready for the DR last week and thought it all out and even breaking it to other people, which I sort of did. Except the GBL. GBL is still my secret drug. I can show someone an opium poppy and explain all the products that come from it and I can describe deep dark scenariaros I've been in but it seems that no one around here is still aware of killer gbl. I think I must be surrounded by people who have never seen the internet.

I spent maybe 8 months of my life there boinging back and forth between addictions and told know one, then on Thursday I told some people and it didn't help at alll.
I took myself off into my cave/living room, turned on Radio 3 and spent 4 days and some amounts of things making sure I didn't go insane....I'm not out the woods yet. But if I can set up my own camp in that wood and learn how to break out then it will have to be done. Or I will have to tell my parents and that is a no-no.
I have to seriously cut down my use of opiates or my guts are going to be double-fucked. I have been chain smoking as for some of the time it is all that stops me crying....urrggh big brown fingers.

I wish people wouldn't confuse me, about what well thats just todays daily fucking bastarding thought.

Fuck me it is SO cold.When I go back tonight I have 3 duvets and I'm trying to work out if I need 3 layers of clothes....since my central heating is fucked. 4 days of being the iceman and I have no money.

Might go back to my tds thread today or not , but the last 2 weeds I've been having the worst feelings and thoughts of 18 years. I'm hoping so much that not being on GBL and scrubbing my skin bare and drinking decent tea and eating at least semi-healthily will get me out of the non stop crying track.......Got a load of trazadone and 150mg made me sick, But I daren't try the 100mg version as it metabolises to mcpp and activates the urge to drink......meth heads in new mexico have been on traz and after a month have all headed out for a rooot tooting drink binge for 30 years. I may be some time or I may be right on back in here.



But there is one thing I do know. Every other time I went through the shit of getting back onto GBL it was fun and even though I had to look for time to come off I came off without I hope too much damage, but this time was different.There was a black raven following at my back.I sobbed openly in streets, vommitted down toilets and beyond, screamed myself hoarse, broke half my possessions, and now I'm am way up on big shit hill.

I went to the dentist today, they didn't know the secrets I hide thats fo' sho'!
 
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Opiates aren't really a great substitute for GBL use. I've been doing some codeine and it helps but its just one addiction for another.

Ps - Going by my recent comments on my GBL and benzo use can anyone recommend whether I should try going cold turkey on benzos or taper? (I'm GBL free well over a week and withdrawals haven't been significant but been regularly taking benzos) I'm not sure if my benzo use is realluy at a significant level to taper from. But with all my gaba issues the anxiety I'll get from cold turkey will be horrible. My last benzo dose was 5 mg nitrazepam last night. If I can go through today with no benzos, how do I proceed tomorrow?

the benzo tapering schedules I've seen online talk about very incremental decreases and daily benzo use and considering my benzo use isn't quite daily I'm not sure this would help me. Also, until about a fortnight ago, or maybe a month, my benzo use was muich less significant than what it is currently.

Not sure if I'm making much sense, my thoughts are racing a bit.

the main thing I'm basically worried about is sleep. Sleep is the brother of death, or whatever the expression is, and there's something quite petrifying about it during withdrawal etc. I think essentially, when I'm wide awake and conscious I can deal with what is going on and inflict change but when I go to sleep I'm losing control of my life and I'm randomly panicking. BAahasbahdlasnd (sorry, random outburst!)

I'm half thinking of just sucking it up and getting on with it but I don't want to put my life at risk, purely for my family.

Every night though I panic of going through a trainspotting style withdrawal scene and GABA withdrawal can be much more severe and prolonged. I'd honestly much rather die than go through that.
 
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Opium pods, a redused level of alcohol, redused level of benzos and I seemed to hit the nail on the head early last year, stayed off for 6 weeks.But of course swapping one for another.and the possibility that too much of each will be taken and gouch will become too much of a good thing became the thing just before christmas.
I'm in a FAR better way at my parents online chatting than I am in my freezing cold flat alone without internet.I have benzos in me and I know certainly none of the Gbeast.....this may be the closest to sober I've been on here in a while.

No matter what someone who was trying some mind control trick on me on Thursday was saying, we aren't all alone. We are alone in our heads, but we can warp into more than one, and its the collectiveness, the the ability to form factions and friendships of whatever reason that is humanity. Not the one, but the we.

THUS QOTH BROKENBRAIN ON HIS MAKESHIFT TOMBSTONE
 
65daysofstatic:

In terms of the benzos alone, you don't need to taper from them you could just quit, your dosing wasn't that high or regular enough to produce withdrawals.

I'm pretty unfamiliar with GBL withdrawal though, so maybe just incrementally reduce your benzo usage (diaz would prob be the best) down to nothing over a week to mask any of the anxiety from the lack of GBL and help you sleep.
 
whoremoaning said:
65daysofstatic:

In terms of the benzos alone, you don't need to taper from them you could just quit, your dosing wasn't that high or regular enough to produce withdrawals.

I'm pretty unfamiliar with GBL withdrawal though, so maybe just incrementally reduce your benzo usage (diaz would prob be the best) down to nothing over a week to mask any of the anxiety from the lack of GBL and help you sleep.
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I can probably obtain a few nitrazepams, could you recommend a rough schedule? I can just see myself missing out the TAPERING 8) part and being at square 1 again next week. I could try 5mg nitraz tonight, then decrease by 1 mg each night?

I'm so glad that my benzo use has never got too crazy, luckily small doses of benzos work still. Wheras with alcohol and GBL, I'd go through ridiculous amounts.

One day at a time...
 
Treacle said:
Correct. However, glutamate is the main excitatory neurotransmitter in the brain, and a lot of it doesn't get converted into GABA. It may make you worse. Pregabalin converts glutamate into GABA, so it might be worth looking into. Also, the withdrawals from pregabalin are nothing. It takes a week to taper. It makes all depressants feel stronger.
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I REALLY want pregabalin and I really want an anti-depressant that works. It looks like I might have to start using the trazadone I've had on the shelf. I'm not taking remeron for the fat gain factor and I'm forbidden from most of the rest since I've overdosed too much. I really want to try Imipramine but fuck knows how many hoops I'd have to jump through. That and Pregbalin and the odd pint of cider and a few bongs of very good hashish a day and I would be good. A couple of decent jobs or just the one and I'd be half way to happiness. The woman thing ain't ever gonna happen as I am too fucked in the head.
 
Looks like I won't be able to get more nitrazepam for a while. I've got one generic valium that will be my get out of jail card for sleep tonight. But then I won't have tapered at all, and I'll have switched benzos again. sigh.

I have a fair amount of xanax, would this help me at all? From what I've seen short enacting benzos are pretty useless for dealing with withdrawal/tapering. Maybe taking 0.5mg at bed time for a couple nights then going cold turkey?

I can get Tiadipona (bentazepam) but from my limited research it's a very short enacting benzo and would be pointless.

Alas, I should be thinking less about chemicals, not taking more.

I really can't think very logically at the moment. I feel fine(ish) physically but mentally I'm pretty scattered as I'm sure my posts indicate.
 
Ian! right man, why don't you just cheer up.It'll all wash away with the rain.;)

And when you think about putting "the idiot" on that stereo,think a lot about it.

New Order have one good album which should be called Joy Division version 2, fuckers.

I just spent 4 days in bed freezing, in 5 layers of clothing taking various downers and didn't eat, but listened to Radio 3 and floated away from the hellishness of GBL.

Meanwhile my fridge-freezer broke like a cunt.
I'm putting myself down for the hardcore psycho-therapy shit at the dr's and I'm really going to try to find something that does something.
I am 3 years older than I thought I would live to be.
I never get fucking wankered drunk anymore.
I don't eat loads of tranqs,drink a bottle of rum and see what happens.
I'm looking for a part time job, possibly in the mental health division. I have one voluntary job that is going well and one that I either fucked right up on Monday or no one noticed since I only left an answer phone message......it is a job where dosing everything apart from a microdot would not be noticed, whereas the other job lots of things get noticed.
I've got to get my opium pod taking under control, but that makes me feel good and has plenty of benefits....apart from withdrawals. GBL is Satan. I had my good times in 2007 I had some AMAZING times in 2005/6, and then I couldn't stop, fucking around with it till the end and now whatever our Lord Satan hath left for me won't be cast to dust because I got the ultimate negative feedback.
1 nice evening which lead to 8.5 days of my feeling worse than I ever have in my life, I thought I knew depression, I had met mother pain.I've been smoking round the clock,apart from parents while I was on it I would burst into tears at anything and everything.Read something and cry,hear something and cry.......hell I was in Waitrose and my eyes were looking very much the worse for wear.
15 - 18 I lived through some unremitting and undeserving mental trauma but any things before and more likely after and know one knows what created the addicted fuckhead that came out and last week was 5 times that strong in the fucked brainness.I made it through last week.And now I need to do something about it.
 
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kate said:
Diphenhydramine is worthy of investigation, maybe Treacle can tell more about it though...I'm all noob on this one :\
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It's almost useless, unfortunately. It possibly does something. It's certainly not a big help.

65days: benzos and G are not cross tolerant. If you've been off G a week, then you are sorted. The amount of benzos you are taking is very low. If you stopped the benzos and worrying about withdrawal, I think you'd find that you have no issues.

BB: pregabalin is excellent for anxiety. It's replaced benzos for me. It would certainly aid in any withdrawal, by making everything else feel stronger.
 
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I think I'm making progress. It's been 10 hours-ish since my last dose and I'm feeling ok. Let's hope this is the last time I have to go through this... I don't even like gbl that much.
 
Treacle said:
It's almost useless, unfortunately. It possibly does something. It's certainly not a big help.

65days: benzos and G are not cross tolerant. If you've been off G a week, then you are sorted. The amount of benzos you are taking is very low. If you stopped the benzos and worrying about withdrawal, I think you'd find that you have no issues.

BB: pregabalin is excellent for anxiety. It's replaced benzos for me. It would certainly aid in any withdrawal, by making everything else feel stronger.
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I found another valium and had to have it today. So another day I've had to take a benzo. I'm not shaking, hallucinating, or anything really. I just have this horrible fucking GNAWING in my brain that alcohol and benzos gets rid of. I'm not sure whether its anxiety, general fear or what. But it's enough to make me really depressed and quiet and constantly fidget with my hands to thew point where people notice it. IMPENDING FEELING OF DOOM basically.

I think I spend so much of my life intoxicated that sobriety feels strange and scary. At least I'm complet6ely clear of GBL and my benzo use is pretty regulated. I hgaven't drunk too mu8ch this week either.

It's amazing how fragile and sensitive the human brain is. I can very quickly go from feeling like my world is ending to feeling quite happy.

I also had to drink some spirit earlier (bicardi). I didn't know I had this one valium and my anxiety was horrible. I heard people arguing and it made me want to die. Maybe its alcohol thats the real fucking problem.

Oh well, chelsea game tonight, this valium and a few stellas will give me some normality........People say my benzo use isn't high enough to taper but wtf do I do? I guess quit all drugs and focus on pregs for anxiety would be a start.
 
From someone who has been through 3 proper g withdrawals now, two hellish ones and 1 fairly bad. I've tried Valium, Xanax, and Librium on the 3 occasions and found Librium to be the best by some margin.
Librium is far less sedative than the others and even on 150mg/day I was borderline functional. Not capable of working, but talking to people and making food etc.
Opiates also help. If you're not a habitual user, 250-300mg codeine for a few days (I took this as a single dose) really brings you the lift you need to make it to the next day and codeine is not so addictive that this dose should present any problems.

After my third wd trazodone was exactly what I went onto. So far it's great. I sleep 7-8 hrs per night without an alarm. Mood is lifted sufficiently during the day that I no longer feel the need for g. Also, it's been mentioned before, but take 2-300mg thiamine per day. That stops the tingling in your limbs which is actually nerve damage!
 
Good luck to you all and your attempts to quit, I thought g would be history by now!

and bb, i feel for you man and I really hope things get better soon.

Hi to everyone else from the old gbl threads, shambles, treacle, been staying off here as have been clean since September from most bad things and don't want the temptation :\
 
Texyemma said:
Habit. You're used to being in a certain state at a certain time ( or all day, I dont know )

You feel weird because you're not where you're used to being mentally. It will pass. The mind is great at adapting and creating new routines.

It will get better, soon. You're doing well.

I wish you the very best.

<3
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that message actually gives me some hope. But fuck....dfsdsdfsdfsdfsd i dunno
 
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