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AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
My homegirl just got a major surgery, got home & in excruciating pain & doctor gave her no meds to deal with post surgery pain. Next day she tried calling all day to explain that she’s in a lot of pain & if they can send her pain medicine for after care. The doctor’s office called her back & said they can’t because the doctor doesn’t believe in opioids that he said “take Tylenol”. She called back the next day because the pain is so severe & the doctor sent over hydroxyzine (allergy medicine?) ?? How the fuck are you allowed to cut someone open & refuse to treat the post surgical pain. That shits really f’d up. What the hell is going on with some of these doctors? How are you allowed to be so cruel?
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tylenol makes me sick

it makes my stomach bleed

this is UNcalled for

it's inhumane

it just goes to show they don't give a f### about us

it's the new world order agenda . . . . to finally kill us off


edit: oh yes and to make us suffer while they do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
kiely said:
. . . and sorry :stare:
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She’s like the sweetest girl, she’s just laying there with her dog praying 😢
I wish I lived closer to her, I’d just give her the rest of the pain meds I have rite now even though I have pain … I don’t understand how people are okay with others suffering.

Anyways thanks for listening to me rant @kiely 💕 you are a sweetie too. Hope you’re doing okay today. Big hugs 💜
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
She’s like the sweetest girl, she’s just laying there with her dog praying 😢
I wish I lived closer to her, I’d just give her the rest of the pain meds I have rite now even though I have pain … I don’t understand how people are okay with others suffering.

Anyways thanks for listening to me rant @kiely 💕 you are a sweetie too. Hope you’re doing okay today. Big hugs 💜
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I'm sorry I am just crying right now. I can't think. Or think of what to say anymore.

It's bad. Really bad. I cry for her. I know !!!
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
My homegirl just got a major surgery, got home & in excruciating pain & doctor gave her no meds to deal with post surgery pain. Next day she tried calling all day to explain that she’s in a lot of pain & if they can send her pain medicine for after care. The doctor’s office called her back & said they can’t because the doctor doesn’t believe in opioids that he said “take Tylenol”. She called back the next day because the pain is so severe & the doctor sent over hydroxyzine (allergy medicine?) ?? How the fuck are you allowed to cut someone open & refuse to treat the post surgical pain. That shits really f’d up. What the hell is going on with some of these doctors? How are you allowed to be so cruel?
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lol that is one hell of a conspiracy theory. "Australia does not exist...or opioids."
 
Hmm I'm not totally comfortable with like taking my opium with a psychiatrist??? Who could test my blood??? But I don't think any doctors like me very much! Maybe I'll pay and find out
 
Once again one should be proud for how much psychososial help he has gotten from his friends and family. I guess there is really people rooting for him. With em 2 long hour calls dem niggaz aint faking.
 
Got my very back molar extracted today, it’s one of the last teeth I needed to get fixed since back when I broke my jaw. It’s been a really long road getting help for my jaw & all my teeth fixed. There’s been a lot of hard days & I still deal with jaw issues/pain & I’m finally getting able to open my mouth wider & everything. I think back to when I finally escaped my ex & had to put my jaw back into place myself hiding in a hotel by myself. I’m trying to remember how far I’ve come even though I can get stuck in it with the flashbacks & night terrors, ect. You never know what someone may be hiding behind a pretty smile 💜
 
Today I was able to rest for the week. Feeling anxious with the task on planning my week. Anxious to write and edit pictures of my master (deadline this may 16). Anxious with my future. Currently on debt and not working due to the master.
Anxious with my idea of start a side hustle on copy (currently studying digital marketing, copy, have certificate...) while looking for a job to pay my bills outside my major area, so I can get experience, study and network (the plan is more detailed)... What if I'm stupid? My synthesis skills are terrible, don't know if is okay to trust myself. External validation is not the best way to work with self stem. Thinking that is wrong that I always have ambitions and wished to have my independence. Believe how wrong is to genuinely trust myself and ended up being arrogant.
Realized my coke use associate with the feeling of guilt with having a hard time to sleep, not waking up the time planned and overwhelmed) paralyzed to start a simple task. The fact that I already failed
since waking up makes me beat myself.
I'm really cruel with myself. Can't stand my mistakes.
At least today the dose diminished (two lines, usually is 2g).
Paralyzed to write my planner. Afraid of failure.
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
Got my very back molar extracted today, it’s one of the last teeth I needed to get fixed since back when I broke my jaw. It’s been a really long road getting help for my jaw & all my teeth fixed. There’s been a lot of hard days & I still deal with jaw issues/pain & I’m finally getting able to open my mouth wider & everything. I think back to when I finally escaped my ex & had to put my jaw back into place myself hiding in a hotel by myself. I’m trying to remember how far I’ve come even though I can get stuck in it with the flashbacks & night terrors, ect. You never know what someone may be hiding behind a pretty smile 💜
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One moment at a time rite now 🌺
 
Puff said:
Today I was able to rest for the week. Feeling anxious with the task on planning my week. Anxious to write and edit pictures of my master (deadline this may 16). Anxious with my future. Currently on debt and not working due to the master.
Anxious with my idea of start a side hustle on copy (currently studying digital marketing, copy, have certificate...) while looking for a job to pay my bills outside my major area, so I can get experience, study and network (the plan is more detailed)... What if I'm stupid? My synthesis skills are terrible, don't know if is okay to trust myself. External validation is not the best way to work with self stem. Thinking that is wrong that I always have ambitions and wished to have my independence. Believe how wrong is to genuinely trust myself and ended up being arrogant.
Realized my coke use associate with the feeling of guilt with having a hard time to sleep, not waking up the time planned and overwhelmed) paralyzed to start a simple task. The fact that I already failed
since waking up makes me beat myself.
I'm really cruel with myself. Can't stand my mistakes.
At least today the dose diminished (two lines, usually is 2g).
Paralyzed to write my planner. Afraid of failure.
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You're not stupid. It sounds like you're rather intelligent and capable in fact. Life is a lot to take on, and sometimes imposter syndrome can beat us senseless. Dealing with our own insecurities, feelings, and emotions, can be a massive task in itself. Don't forget to take a second to breathe. If you're overwhelmed, relax. Tomorrow will certainly come. Working yourself into a frenzy now will only increase your anxiety and make it ultimately harder to accomplish your tasks. Keep your goals in mind, take a day or two off, as much as can be managed, and come back to it fresh. Stimulants have their massive allure for helping us feel self confident and better in the moment, but ultimately they compound all those negative feelings and they come back 20fold on down the road when we crash. If you can't manage a healthy relationship with them and it's effecting your sleep cycle and mental health, do consider taking an extended break. Cocaine is notoriously bad on the mental/physical health.
 
I'm feeling "disillusioned" (what a weird word) with the other sex.

It's confusing the way it varies culturally yet has some elusive essence of violent impossibility.

It's also confusing the way our culture has become so fixated on explicitly denying sex differences yet continue affirming their existence performatively even when it's immature and dumb. I can see concretely the way this denial shapes and weakens our culture. Opting for ignorance is such a failure. The collective shadow will and does backlash unrelentingly.
 
Sometimes I hate my life so much, and even strike my head with my own hands in a fit of rage...I often question my existence...why is all this bullshit happening in my life for seemingly no reason. I love my two dachshunds a thousand times more than my own rather poor existence and I honestly don't know what would happen to me if I lost them for whatever reason. My dogs are my life.

I did get the temptation to go down the consciousness-altering path, especially after the last round of hearing damage last year which was later married to a more or less constant state of poor balance (if I turn around suddenly I often end up on the ground spinning 100 revs per minute and there is always nausea, always)...if it isn't Menieres I don't know what it is...but I know from too many friends that hard drug use is never a good path to go down. The alternative was unconditional love from non-judgmental creatures.
 
Woke up & saw an article on my phone of a clip of Cassie Ventura & .. well I don’t even want to write his name … it REALLY reminded me of horrible shit & was already shaky from waking up from night terrors. My mind & body are all shaken … my head feels fucked. I will continue to hide from the world.
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
shaky from waking up from night terrors. My mind & body are all shaken … my head feels fucked. I will continue to hide from the world.
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Night terrors... I had those and know it's no fun waking up from them, no matter what. Worse even if you have them and wake up and get yelled at because you disturbed someone's sleep.
I can understand why you want to hide from the world. And it's okay to do it for a day, or two.
But please make sure to use that time to be gentle with yourself and recover so you have the energy and confidence and will to face it on the third day. Because there's also joy out there.

un abrazote!
 
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