k-question
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2011
- Messages
- 2
Voices? That's OK.
Malevolent voices? That's a concern (but maybe an opportunity).
Auditory hallucinations are common on dissociatives. Usually the hallucinations sound like helicopters or chainsaws to me, especially if I have a fan or air conditioner on. I recently heard voices on methoxetamine. Like you, I was in bed, but I was purposely trying to enter a trance. The voice hallucinations I heard were random indiscernible snippets, like the kind commonly heard while drifting off to sleep. But then I clearly heard "Turn the eye within the eye." This was followed by a vision of an eye inset within a cross-section of a larger eye turning 180 degrees to look into the larger eye's retina. My right eye popped open without me even thinking about it and the right side of that eye's visual "window" formed into a projection screen for visions unlike any I've seen in 13 years of using psychedelics. In order to see the visions I had to focus my attention to the right of my central focal point. The "eye within the eye" was a metaphor for attention (the "eye of the mind"). Listening to the voice led me to a profound inner experience.
My point is that if you can hear voices you may be able to learn from them, too. Obviously you need to be critical of anything voices tell you, especially malevolent voices. If you do ketamine again and the voices come back you might try asking them what they are trying to accomplish or trying to defend yourself out loud to see if they react. Hearing voices is unfortunately still the folk-cultural litmus test for insanity, but if you do some research you'll find many normal functional people experience them. Some even credit their voices with great successes in their life.
See Hearing Voices Movement
Thank you for the response! I think it is very helpful.
Part of me is concerned with the way I reacted. I normally am good at letting myself go on the classical psychs, ketamine threw me for a loop and that's part of what drove the anxiety up. Frustrated- "Why am I refusing to let go?" I then became convinced that I was having a psychotic break, that I'd finally done myself in. Of course it was foolish paranoia, but it scared me because I never get those kinds of thoughts when I'm strung out on the classical psychs. I then became convinced that if I did let myself go I'd become violent.
The voices were certainly malevolent. I get voices a lot on tryptamines, especially the naturally occurring ones. But usually they are more like yours, cryptic and trying to tell me something, rather than being malevolent or violent. I don't like the violence and being out of control of my body while having violent thoughts in my head was just not an appealing situation. So I fought it, and drove the anxiety up even further.