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The Big & Dandy Ego Death Thread

Ego death is not annhilation.
It is emancipation.

You do not cease to exist.
The boundaries that define you cease to exist.

Having no boundaries, 'you' become nothing.
Yet 'nothing' is still apart of 'everything', and thus 'everything' remains.

The experience: There is no You.
The revelation: There is only you.
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that description describes it best I think. I never really understood the concept until it happened to me. I took LSD and shrooms in high doses for years and at times I was extremely fucked up and thought maybe that was ego death..

Then I smoked a high dose of DMT and my reality was completely torn from me as there was no "me" anymore, just the cosmic consciousness any energy of the universe. "oneness with the universe". now I get it..

Once it happens to you there is really no questioning it..
 
villian said:
Then I smoked a high dose of DMT and my reality was completely torn from me as there was no "me" anymore, just the cosmic consciousness any energy of the universe. "oneness with the universe". now I get it..

Once it happens to you there is really no questioning it..
Click to expand...

this. DMT breakthroughs are amazing. life changing kind of experience. everyone should experience it. when i came back into my body and it took me a few moments to realize that im actually a human being, and ive just been on the trip of my life. i sat there for awhile afterwards like "what the fuck!!!!"
 
I agree coltdan. definitely a life changing experience. I went from being a lifelong agnostic too having to admit there definitely is more then just this human life. I always thought spirituality was silly, now I am interested in it.

I also sat there for a while saying "what the fuck? what the fuck? what the fuck? that's not possible"

I mean, I "saw" everything that ever was, is, or will be. words can never describe that.

I don't think it is possible to even begin to understand it until it happens to you.

crazy stuff..
 
I'm starting to think the term ego-expansion is more appropriate. The experience does negate the old Self thing, but your awareness seems to engulf everything, even if you're not aware of this awareness at the time...
 
Psilocybeing said:
I know that this may not be the place for an entire report, but I wanted to share my views on the ego death experience with as many people as possible, and this seemed like the best place on the Internet for that. Writing is part of the integration process for me, and I can't justify making this any shorter. Read only the third and fourth paragraphs if you want the most relevant parts. If you want to discuss or debate anything in my report, please share your thoughts. I don't think I will find a more receptive community than Bluelight for this kind of thing.
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Your report was amazingly well-written. I thoroughly enjoyed this description of the ego-death state, to the point where I actually feel that I understand what you are describing, at least on an intellectual level. I've teetered on the edge of ego death a coupe of times now (I'm apparently quite attached to the idea of "me"), and hope that when I do achieve such a state, that it can be as profound as yours sounded.

Welcome to Bluelight!
 
malakaix said:
You'll know if you've experienced it.



I've truly only really experienced entire ego loss on a DMT break-through. I had a few experience's with high dose's of liquid LSD where i felt the presence of my ego been broken down analytically, but no where near the scale of DMT.
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Mmm - my first proper breakthrough with DMT, my ego loss was exactly the same - just so gone that all that was left in the void was peace and calm, floating in the seas of samsara - it was amazing.

LSD has given me ego loss once, ditto that with 2C-E - both analytically though, heavily fluctuating.
 
What is "Ego Loss"?

I've taken some big fat doses of LSD in my time but never really understood what this whole ego loss thing is that everyone goes on about. Remember recently looking in the mirrror whilst on about 3 tabs of strong cid and thinking "Is that actually me?". Is that ego loss?

Can someone kinda break down this concept for me?

Thanks!
 
I've never really achieved ego loss off of LSD. I retain far too much of myself, but that's just me. LSD is like a psychological tool, used to help me work things out in my own mind. I know what you mean about looking weird as hell in the mirror though lol.


Mushrooms, however....make me feel as if I might have died. Very spiritual. It's a merging of the conscious and the subconscious. You no longer think of yourself as 'yourself' more as just a part of the collective pool of cosmic energy.

The most fantastic thing ego loss has done for me is the removal of the fear of death.
 
cryptix420 said:
Mushrooms, however....make me feel as if I might have died. Very spiritual. It's a merging of the conscious and the subconscious. You no longer think of yourself as 'yourself' more as just a part of the collective pool of cosmic energy.
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Shrooms for me just give me nasty mood swings and don't really make me trip. So I tend to avoid em, LOL. But that's a bit OT. ha :)
 
That's because you haven't tried the lemon tek mayn! Mushrooms take a lot more experience than LSD to really get to a good place with as well imo (something I only have because of massive surplus from growing). Just gotta kick back on a comfy bed with a blind fold and let existence unfold. Just give in fully to the emotions.

Although, I'm somewhat of an emotionally repressed individual, so the emotional upwelling is actually quite pleasant for me.
 
N,N,DMT gave me ego loss. ego loss is where you completely lose yourself, your sense of being a human being, you feel like your dead or something. you have no thought process as such, you cant think. its literally like you have disintegrated and you are a part of everything/nothing. on DMT i felt like i became part of everything, there was no "me", it was like everything was the sea and i became a drop in the ocean. then you come back and its like youve been re-born,
 
Ego loss is a dissolution of the self into a grander, unified collective - it's when you stop viewing the universe as a dichotomy between yourself, as a subject, and everything else, as objects, and instead feel "yourself "(in quotes because "yourself" is an egocentric term! it's hard to describe ego-loss in normal language because language is centered around the aforementioned dichotomy) as inextricably equivalent and connected to everything else. I prefer "equivalent" to "linked/connected" because a link connotes a disparateness between parts - whereas, in ego loss, there are NO parts - only one "thing" of which you are a unique mode.

That's my own interpretation, but it is certainly up for debate :P
 
ColtDan said:
N,N,DMT gave me ego loss. ego loss is where you completely lose yourself, your sense of being a human being, you feel like your dead or something. you have no thought process as such, you cant think. its literally like you have disintegrated and you are a part of everything/nothing. on DMT i felt like i became part of everything, there was no "me", it was like everything was the sea and i became a drop in the ocean. then you come back and its like youve been re-born,
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Sounds really interesting :) I really wanna try DMT, just gotta get hold of it, either by buying it or doing the extraction.

I think I experienced that during my first K hole - something that I'd call a "+5" experience - where I saw my whole life flash before my eyes and met God. Thought I was dead and everything. It was scary as fuck at the time, but an experience that I cherish and glad that I had.
 
on DMT even at lower doses when ego loss isnt experienced its such an amazing experience, such a brilliant feeling, you've gotta try it. everybody needs to try it. its deep. im gonna do another extraction soon
 
It's a load of horseshit. For a start there's no such thing as the "ego" - it's a theory Freud dreamed up 100 years ago that's been discredited for decades. Leary mentioned it a few times in his writing in the 60's to try and sound scientific and that's why it got associated with psychedelics.

I think people seem to associate it with taking a big dose, but it would be more accurate to call it a "Big dose psychedelic experience" rather than worry about crap like "ego-loss".
 
^"Ego death" or "ego loss" aren't literal terms. It's a dissolving of your understanding of yourself as a seperate entity from everything else that exists.

I've only acheived ego loss from mixing psychedelics or smoking high dose DMT.

Mescaline, LSD and DMT has reliably given me ego death at the right dosage. Ego loss is hard to describe, but it's basically when the boundary that is yourself disappears and all things meld, you don't exist and nothing else exists, everthing is one. All concepts of self completly disappear and are replaced with a feeling I can't describe. It's great.

Mushrooms, LSD, mescaline and Pharmahuasca has also given me ego death. Mushrooms seem to be very good at inducing it, but they also give me pretty bad anxiety. DMT seems to be great at causing ego death for me, but everyone's different.

As a disclaimer, if you are to mix psychedelics you have to lower the doses of everything involved, especially if you're taking and MAOI.
 
DMT is by far one of the best things i've ever done. i highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't tried it. i tripped so hard on it the other day i can't even explain what happened. total ego loss as you guys call it i guess. i understood everything at once, and then forgot most of it once the trip was over, but i still retained some of it.
 
psychomimetic said:
It's a dissolving of your understanding of yourself as a seperate entity from everything else that exists.
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But if you can remember it happened then by definition you understood you were present - otherwise your memory wouldn't have been recording it.

you don't exist and nothing else exists, everthing is one

The trouble is with using phrases like this is that they can mean different things to anyone. I know the feeling that you mean (I just call it tripping) but are you definate that you wern't at all aware of where you were? If your dog was laid beside you would you simply stand up and tread on him because you thought you were one with everything? Or would you step around him because you know "My dogs sat down there and I don't want to tread on him and hurt him" - obviously if you are capable of stepping over your dog or not walking into the door with your face then your sense of self is still very much present.
 
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