Here's the log from today's experience, entirely unedited:
Ingested ~25mg (although it could have been as much as 30mg) at 15:30. Heart rate right now is around 108-114. I noticed this increase sometime around T-0:10. I haven't eaten since around T-5:30. Thoughts are pretty much clear at the moment, setting is my dorm room. If this does turn out to be a "breakthrough" experience, I have a bed to lay down in and no one can disturb me. The door is locked and my phone is on vibrate, which I won't hear. I think writing my thoughts down in this way right now is somewhat anxiolytic. If the 4-AcO-DMT proves to be too much, I have some oxycodone prepared. I licked my fingertips after weighing out the powder last night, so I am positive that I am not allergic to it, and that it is not some more potent substance.
T+0:08 - Heart rate seems to be down to about 90-96 bpm.
T+0:12 - I just felt a physical sensation in my head. It could be starting already.
T+0:15 - Previous sensation disappeared. It may have been nothing. Pupils seem normal.
T+0:24 - Possible slight pupil dilation. I feel like I am saving the Whose Line episodes for once the chemical kicks in. Reading B&D 4-AcO-DMT thread now.
T+0:50 - A constant ringing in my ears has started. Seems to be slightly more on the left. CEV's are beginning.
T+1:23 - Text appears wavy. Mental state seems pretty clear-headed. Still waiting to see where this is going. Hopefully if I took enough, it will be somewhere interesting.
T+1:30 - After returning from checking the mail, text is not appearing nearly as wavy as before. This leads me to believe I am at or near the peak. Sense of smell seems somewhat enhanced.
T+1:52 - Even though I've never had any DMT, I know exactly what Xorkoth is saying when he describes a 4-AcO-DMT trip as a DMT afterglow. This is it. Oh, and because it didn't hit me for about an hour, that means it will probably last ~8 hours, based on bluelight research.
T+3:09 - It's hard to type. I fear perhaps that this is not 4-aco-dmt. I am sweating profusely and I feel I may pass out. Passing out would be a relief, so that I don't have to keep feeling as I do right now. The visuals are pretty strong. The effects for some reason appear to have reached a new level in the past few minutes and I don't really know why. I am yawning excessively.
T+3:16 - I just took 5 mg oxycodone. Not sure what this will do to me but hopefully kill the effects that I'm feeling right now slightly.
T+3:19 - OK so here's the logic. bad thoughts - i might be poisoned, ie this is a different chemical than i than i thought it was. Ingested 25-30 mg, so this coudl be VERY bad. However, saving grace, I did lick my fingers last night when weighing the 4-aco-dmt out. I proceeded to watch, for about an hour and a half, best of whose line videos on youtube. I was finding these hysterical.
T+3:26 - I keep needing to blink. This is a very odd headspace. Right up until about the 3 hour mark I was unbelievably happy. I literally could not believe how happy I was. I felt like every serotonin receptor in my brain was simultaneously being tickled. Now I just feel confused, is probably the best way to describe it. I'm finding it very hard to keep any sort of train of thought going. I do, however, feel that keeping a log of the trip like this will make for very interesting reading later.
T+3:28 - I almost feel like making a videolog, but I am not sure of the thickness of the walls. What would people think as they walk by my dorm room? (I am laughing out loud right now). I need footnotes of footnotes of footnotes. This is in no way making sense anymore, is it? I can't wait to be sober, I'm sure I'll get a kick out of this.
T+3:32 - I'm back in a positive headspace, although I may be on my way back down again. Perhaps I'm in some sort of oscillating loop. My heart feels like it's racing although I'm pretty sure, based on putting my hand on my chest, that it isn't.
T+3:34 - I'm still blinking a ton. Why? Why? Why? I wish I knew. There are so many Whys?. I can't know, so I need to let go. Everything seems to be affecting me to the nth degree right now. I think of something bad, or that I
don't like, and it sends me into "the bad place". I think of something I do like, and I get elated.
T+3:37 - This may be more than I've ever written. That's ok. I guess it's sort of stream of consciousness, as I think things, they go into this notepad document. I can hear people talking as they walk through the hallway, but I can't understand them. I did today what I didn't mean to do.
T+3:40 - I can think so much faster than I can type. I'm still "confused" - thoughts are going everywhere and I don't like it. Memory seems impaired. I'm feeling much more strongly than I normally do. There are negative thoughts and there are positive thoughts.
T+3:43 - I guess the writing is helping. I don't really know what else I would be doing to pass the time. I guess the ultimate thing I'm feeling is boredom. Nothing right now would satisfy me. I don't know what I want.
T+3:48 - The ability to do time related math has left me. I was not sure before if there was a fly here or if I was hallucinating it but now I am definitely sure there is a fly. I want the opiate to kick in. When I take a percocet, I consistently feel happy, and I just want to return to that happiness. I don't know why I'm in the state I'm in now.
T+3:53 - This is anything but clear-headed. Time is passing but not fast enough. I want to be doing something but I don't know what. Of all the things that could happen, I don't know which of them I want.
T+3:57 - I know this is physically benign. There is no substance that would kill me with this timeline. Well maybe there is, but certainly I haven't ingested it. None of those things, if they exist, could be in the powder that I ingested.
T+4:02 - Thought loops? Is that what this is? Or are they in sequence... I still don't know. I can't wait for this to be over. I'm in a state which is unpleasant. Thinking about a future which is less unpleasant helps.
T+4:05 - I don't think it's getting any stronger, but that was a weird transition a while back.
T+4:22 - Oxycodone is not renowned for being clear-headed, but I am comfortable taking it around people. Thus it can't be too bad. Did I not take enough? I am still waiting for this feeling to die down. Yawning, blinking, and
activation of the tear ducts.
T+4:52 - I know I'm OK. This state will at some point end. I really wish I knew when, though.
T+5:03 - I wish I could stop blinking so much. How do I react to tryptamines? I'm confused. There are a lot of houghts in my head, and right now, I don't really like any of them. Not to mention, it's hard to stay on one train
of thoughts. It's also hard to type when my eyes keep wanting to be closed.
T+5:54 - I'm on Part 24 of the "best of whose line" videos. PAY ATTENTION TO HOW THOUGHTS GO WHEN SOBER!!! How is it different from right now?
T+7:17 - Pupils are still somewhat dilated but go to looking constricted upon application of flashlight. I am pretty hot again now. Meh. This is tolerable.
T+7:37 - Now I feel as if there are so many things I could be doing and I can't decide between them, they are all too great. This is such a change from earlier. I wish I knew _why_ I move between such headspaces when I'm on
psychedelics. I came close to throwing out my entire stash earlier, but I kept in mind "Don't do anything rash".
T+9:06 - I just returned from a shower. Before that, I had a 38 minute conversation with my parents in which I was a lot more talkative than usual. The effects are almost entirely, if not entirely gone.