Hello blue light sorry for stealing this thread but iv just joined today and am in desperate need of help. Iv been abusing bezos hardcore for about a year (clonazepam, xanax, lorazepam, onax bars pretty much anything) my tolerance is through the roof.
I lost my contact so now it's just diazepam I'm talking 20 10mg tablets when I finish work until going to bed rough 6 hours!
Iv also been diagnosed with depression a month ago and prescribed mirtazapine by my gp. I also take tramadol for a severe bad back and case of siatica which I'm also heavily addicted to.
It's ruining my life it's affecting my work my family (I have two young boys 5 and 2) iv tried 3 times to quit the benzos but had to start again as the withdrawals were too much to handle. I really need help and don't no what to do could somebody plz help any advice greatly appreciated. By the way I'm 28 yr old
Thanks in advance
Benzo Freak
Okay I'm not going to lie, you have dug yourself into a really bad position. First I'd like to say, the depression you were diagnosed with, is likely a direct result of the benzo abuse. Benzos, especially in high doses over long periods of time, have been shown to lead to depression. They dull life, and thus make you eventually stop feeling happiness, which leads to depression.
You say you are going to need 200mg of valium just to sleep tonight? That's a hell of a tolerance.
First off, absolutely under no cirumstances, should you try to cold turkey benzos from a dose even close to that high. You can have a grand mal seizure, damage your brain, break your neck, or end up dead from it.
You need to come clean to your doctor and get put on a proper, controlled, valium taper. Valium is the gold standard for tapering benzos because of its 100 hour half life. It will have to be a long taper because that is a redicously high dose of valium, and I'm sure that translates to you taking something like 10-20mg of xanax or lorazepam on days that you don't have valium etc.
Read the ashton manual for proper procedure on how to safely taper off benzos.
http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/
Print it out and bring it to your doctor in fact when you go see him. Make it clear the doses you have been taking of benzos, and for the period of time, because this is a serious medical situation, if you were to not be tapered correctly.
If you ever run out of benzos, I highly suggest you go to the ER, they have to give you benzos because the withdrawals otherwise really can be lethal.
Don't be scared though, I'm not trying to scare you, just making sure you understand the seriousness of the situation. If you get put on a proper valium taper, and drop say, 10mg a week for the first 3 months, and then 5mg a week for the next 3 months, and then something like 2.5mg a week for the final 8 weeks, that should be a decent taper, something of that nature is ideally what you want.
If you don't have self control, you should give your valium taper and scheduele to your spouse or someone else you can trust, and have them dole it out to you.
The important thing is to not cheat the taper.
I wish you the best.
