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Self-harm support thread v. 3

n3ophy7e said:
Dragnfyr, whilst cutting is better than suicide, are you sure it's actually helping your situation?? I know it makes you feel slightly better and distracts your mind for a little while, but what happens after the endorphins wear off? Know what I'm saying?
Do you ever feel regret or shame when you look at your scars? Could that deter you from making more?
QUOTE]

I like my scars
Click to expand...
 
^^ Can you use that as an incentive to not cut any more? I certainly do. Each time I'm tempted to go back to cutting again, all I have to do is look at my worst scars and it makes me change my mind.
 
Doctor tomorrow, haven't actually made the appointment yet though :\ not sure I want to :(

Edit: Sigh. Pussied out of it, I might go tomorrow.
 
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It is scary, it's overwhelming and it's hard. But once you've seen the doctor you'll feel better.

Trust me <3
 
Sigh....

Years and years ago I tried doing cutting.
I only did it a few times, really liked it but had to stop myself because of the scars it would of left....

I feel like even today I would love to cut the shit outta myself if only they didnt leave marks.....
 
Remade the appointment for tomorrow.

It's better that you don't MasterVampire, really. It's such an addictive, destructive habit :\
 
That's okay mate, for some reason you're not ready yet, and that's pretty understandable. But you will be able to do it one day. Don't resign yourself to the idea that you'll never be able to speak to a doctor about this, because you will one day. When you're ready <3
 
my chest is ALL lit up, found a good blade

Wondering if I should show my doc or not. She LIED to me, I told her I didn't want anything fucking with my serotonin and she put me on nortryptaline, and that fux with serotonin. Now I'm 'cut up like a god damn virginia ham', suicidal as fuck, and can't even take drugs besides hallucinogens, MDMA can kill me I guess.

I am not pleased with her. GIVE ME MY LYRICA YOU EVIL CUNT. It is SO much safer and effective!!!
 
I haven't read this whole thread, but i think this might relate on some level. I am a cutter. I haven't cut in 4 months. But tonight I am really tempted. I need a therapist but don't have the money.

I went to an AA meeting tonight because i figured it's a free form of support. and that's what triggered this horrible depression i'm in. I felt like such an outsider. I have such horrible social anxiety that I never really feel included in a conversation or group or group discussion. I try to be friendly to ppl and social but I just feel they are humoring me cuz I'm such a social retard. After the meeting I went home and promptly got drunk.

The only places i feel comfortable and accepted are among current drug users, or when I'm high or drunk around anyone. I'm sorry for emotionally vomiting on this thread but I really needed to get these feelings out. thanks.
 
i serously feel like fuckin cuttin, shit sucks i gotta kill this fuckin chaos in my life some how, im fuckin sober and it fuckin sucks, i wanna get high but i dont want to die because if i get high i'm going to overdose, theres no stopping me.

i went to a AA meeting at noon and we talked about helping others, maybe i should go help others cuz this self shit aint workin.
but on the real note i feel like cutting.
 
^^ Man did you get my last letter?? I haven't heard back :( <3
It makes me really sad and worried to hear that you're struggling Drew. Please just think of how far you've come and how well you really are doing in the grand scheme of things. You should be really proud of yourself. I know I am seriously proud of you man <3
 
school refuses to write off label scripts (lyrica for GAD). Working my nortryptaline up to 50mg. Improvements noticeable but I just had sex for the first time since starting these a month ago and I'm a sex addict, the pills fucked that up a bit.. depression got a lot worse especially around the holidays but w/e. Just waiting to see my grades come in and whether or not I'm kicked out of school and doomed


Fuck school docs though, she told me I would have to go pay a real doctor off campus to get the most effective meds.
 
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