Self-harm support thread v. 3

[rangrz]

its sold as an RC alt to coke and don't believe see's medical use in the USA.

 

[tremours]

is there something wrong with me cause i like to cut myself? i cant decide half the time i think theres nothing wrong with it but the rest of the time i try to convince myself not to do it. the only reason for that is the opinions of other people. i mean is there realy anything wrong with having a blood fetish or wahtever it is i have. I just feel so fucked up so times but i dont see how waht im doing is hurting anyone. i dont realy want to stop, but im tired of all the judgement

 

[n3ophy7e]

Well hun, the reason that there is something wrong with it is because it's your coping mechanism for dealing with extreme emotions. And the reason it's bad is because it doesn't actually solve any of those problems which are causing you to feel bad. It just makes you feel slightly better for a brief period of time, but then once the endorphins wear off you're right back where you started before you cut. And when we use self-destructive coping mechanisms like this, it detracts from us seeking out ways to really solve our problems. Instead we just keep chasing the brief endorphin rush we get from cutting.

But there is nothing wrong with YOU. And there are more effective ways of dealing with what you're going through hun

 

[Dragynfyr]

been cutting for days. it helps, my chest is covered, working on ankles.. in the sauna when I get looks i just say i have a freaky kinky girl friend. (had one a couple times that were into blood play, interesting)

not feeling quite so suicidal at least. it helps. and all the sweat in the sauna gives a great burn on on the wounds haha

I was thinking about getting ink, but now im thinking another cut design. need a better blade though, this knife just cuts straight and large.


yay for life

 

[Tryptamind]

^^ You've come to the right place man.
How do you feel after you burn yourself? Do you feel guilty or sad? Or do you feel like it helps you? Do you necessarily want to stop doing it?


Tryptamine*Dreamer it's good to hear that you're at a stage now where you can control the self-harm urges. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences I still get urges every now and then, sometimes they are really strong. But we learn to sit tight and wait until the urges subside, and it does get easier with time and practice.



Yeah I've been there too man, it's confusing huh. Do you find that before you even know what you're doing, you're cutting yourself? Or is it moreso that you consciously plan to cut, and then consciously follow your plans through?


billyswifey I'm so sorry I didn't attend to your message before today, I've had exams so I've hardly been online this week How are you doing today hun?? How are things? I'm really worried about you I hope you're being careful

Sorry it took me so long to respond. It's elements of both, but more frequently it's that before i know what i'm doing, i'm cutting myself. However, last night, I had actually planned to cut, and then as I was following through with my plan, I wasn't, how can i say this, doing a good enough job? And then, after following what was originally planned, I ended up with a bigger gash than I ever had before, before I even knew what happened.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Dragnfyr, whilst cutting is better than suicide, are you sure it's actually helping your situation?? I know it makes you feel slightly better and distracts your mind for a little while, but what happens after the endorphins wear off? Know what I'm saying?
Do you ever feel regret or shame when you look at your scars? Could that deter you from making more?

However, last night, I had actually planned to cut, and then as I was following through with my plan, I wasn't, how can i say this, doing a good enough job? And then, after following what was originally planned, I ended up with a bigger gash than I ever had before, before I even knew what happened.

Yep, I know what you mean, because I have done that several times. It absolutely sucks.
How are you feeling today??

 

[silentangst]

I've recently started cutting again, after over a year off. After some persuasion I'm leaning towards seeing a psychologist, but I just can't make the call to do it, I don't know how to to start the process

 

[Tryptamind]

Yep, I know what you mean, because I have done that several times. It absolutely sucks.
How are you feeling today??

Today I'm feeling normal, with the added tingling feeling of a fresh wound. I'm just still unsure as to how to get myself to stop from doing this anymore, any ideas?

 

[rangrz]

I've recently started cutting again, after over a year off. After some persuasion I'm leaning towards seeing a psychologist, but I just can't make the call to do it, I don't know how to to start the process

Its not so hard to start the process. Just look up a C.psych's number and dial and tell them you need some councilling/help. Most well probably book you an appointment.

I have a C.psych you can talk to on MSN, but thats no substitute for in person counselling. But its free and might be a good stepping stone...she's very nice, if you want to talk to her, PM me and I'll set it up.

 

[silentangst]

Well tbh, it's about a lot more than just cutting, that's just sort of the tip of the iceberg at the moment I appreciate it though.

However it seems like it could be a good idea, I'll think about it, thanks.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I've recently started cutting again, after over a year off. After some persuasion I'm leaning towards seeing a psychologist, but I just can't make the call to do it, I don't know how to to start the process

Gosh mate, I have been in the exact same position as you, I remember what it felt like as if it was yesterday.

The initial reason I first went to a psychologist (as an adult, i.e. of my own accord) was because of my eating disorder. I decided one day that it had to stop so I went to my doctor to get a referral to a psych, had everything that I wanted to say planned out and rehearsed in my head while I sat in the waiting room, then got in the doctors office and just burst in to tears! How embarrassing! But after that initial outburst I told my doctor what I was there for and immediately I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, like the hardest part was over.

I never even mentioned cutting until I was actually seeing the psychologist about 2 weeks later. It was really strange, admitting to doing it, and showing him my scars. But again, it was a relief to have finally openly talked about it.

So my advice to you is to go to your regular doctor and say that you would like a referral to a psychologist, you don't even have to mention cutting if you don't want to, just say that you are depressed and are having trouble coping. Then call the psych's office and make an appointment. I know it's nerve-racking but you can do it. And I'm pretty sure you'll feel the same relief that I did once you know that you're making steps towards recovery

I'm just still unsure as to how to get myself to stop from doing this anymore, any ideas?

The main thing that helped me was having my partner fully aware of what I was doing, so that if I felt like I was going to cut I could talk to him, he'd talk me through it until the urges went away. Have you got a friend or family member you could talk to about this?
The other main thing you need to remember, the urges DO go away! It's just about distracting yourself or just riding through it until they subside.
Have you ever had any therapy or spoken to a professional about your cutting?

 

[silentangst]

Well it's more than cutting and depression I think, a lot of social anxiety. The problem is I don't have a regular GP, I generally just see whoever's available. I don't know how that'd work

 

[n3ophy7e]

Well to be perfectly honest, it'll work exactly the same as if you did have a regular GP. You're probably going to be just as nervous regardless of whether you've been seeing that particular doctor for 10 years or if you haven't seen them before at all.

You need to weigh up how important this is to you that you start to work through your problems with a professional. If you wish that things were different, yet you can't change these things on your own, then you need help. It's up to you to decide how much you need that help

 

[silentangst]

Or I could just find a renewable source of clonazepam...

 

[rangrz]

that will just spiral into tolerance and physical dependence thats life threating that day when you run out.

 

[silentangst]

Sounds more fun though

Do I need a GP referral? Just because my GP is quite far away

 

[Tryptamind]

The main thing that helped me was having my partner fully aware of what I was doing, so that if I felt like I was going to cut I could talk to him, he'd talk me through it until the urges went away. Have you got a friend or family member you could talk to about this?
The other main thing you need to remember, the urges DO go away! It's just about distracting yourself or just riding through it until they subside.
Have you ever had any therapy or spoken to a professional about your cutting?

I don't really have that great of a support group, not too much family around and all of my friends are just trolls who can take nothing serious, and tbh are probably in the same boat as myself. But I have seen a therapist and a pyschiatrist, which are actually less helpful than posting on this site lol(in my opinion). Thank you for your insights they are much appreciated , I will try and keep myself distracted in any way I can

 

[silentangst]

Gah I realised today that cutting is no longer an option I can handle because I have to get changed in front of a lot of people in my current job the scars have already brought up enough questions. Burning is working well as a substitute but it doesn't seem the have the same effect

 

[n3ophy7e]

Sounds more fun though

Yeah mate, tell us that when you're in benzo withdrawals
Not fun at all.

Do I need a GP referral? Just because my GP is quite far away

There are plenty of counselling services available without a referral from your GP, but to go to a good psychologist you will need a referral, which is probably going to be more worthwhile in the long run. But any counselling service can be good for immediate help.
What suburb are you in? I can look in to some services in your area if you like?

I don't really have that great of a support group, not too much family around and all of my friends are just trolls who can take nothing serious, and tbh are probably in the same boat as myself. But I have seen a therapist and a pyschiatrist, which are actually less helpful than posting on this site lol(in my opinion). Thank you for your insights they are much appreciated , I will try and keep myself distracted in any way I can

No worries man I understand your position. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone about it okay?

 

[silentangst]

I've decided to just take the plunge and go to a GP. I'll probably go on Tuesday and hopefully not break down to the anonymous guy