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Say something you can't say to their face

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I cant think of anything else to say to you guys except that I'm sorry for all these dramas to happen in the family and that all of you have to have this extra burden, because of ME - In short, I can only hope that you guys know that I am still the old me; I truly care for my family esp parents IN my heart; even if some of my actions don't suggest that is the case.

I am not good with words, I always don't express my feelings the right way or that it might lead to negative confusions or something else. I can only hope that all this will be over soon. To be honest, I disagree with most of the ways you guys are choosing to deal with all these, but still, you guys are and will always be my family members, regardless of all the ugly facts that has already happened.

I am very upset the fact that you guys are not being totally honest with me about a LOT of things, but still I believe you guys have your own reasons. If you guys are acting like that because of my choice of taking drugs, I can only say that I am an adult already and I am responsible for my actions. I may have done a lot of things in the past that is worrying you guys, but all these are in the past.

I just feel that I have very limited personal space on my everyday life - everyone deserves their own personal space - and this is affecting my mental health significantly. I hope I am already at the end of the tunnel and will be seeing the light very soon as I honestly do not know how much more I can take.
 
im just terribly sorry that i had to witness your death.

thankfully you looked peaceful; and that all of our prayers and well wishes were with you and your family.

god bless <3

...kytnism...:|
 
deldone said:
^
Are you referring to my post?
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he would have done @^, or quoted you if he was talking to you

since he's posting in this thread called "say something you cant say to their face"

we can assume his post was directed to his significant other
 
Stop being busy with your Phd so we can get drunk and fuck already. (actually i will say that, when i see her next, hopefully tomorrow)

Edit: damnit just FB'd her and she said not until next week. Hmmm i think it might be that time of the month
 
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Dear ex,

I am sorry.

NSFW:
Please stop trying to call me: I have no credit card - and even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't accept your collect calls because you made my life a consistent living hell for at least one and a half years.

I threw away and/or donated all of your clothes, because your mother said "oh we have plenty of clothes for her" and didn't seem concerned in the least for any of your junk/trash, which consists mostly of spare pieces of paper with psychotic ramblings written on it.

I hope one day you aren't schizophrenic anymore, so that you can actually enjoy your life, but if you never recover, I am so sorry that you used to be a normal person and it makes me cry thinking about how quickly you progressed into schizophrenia. The human mind is such a fragile thing and I hope that anyone who actually cares about me would euthanize me before letting me progress that far into schizophrenia.

I did not have the balls to end your life when you begged me to, and I cry thinking about how I wish I could have ended your suffering. Please don't blame me for not having the strength to help you in this way, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself, and probably would have ended up in jail or prison if I had ended up going through with it. I also cry thinking about this, because I would have also begged for my life to end, if I was in your situation. (I didn't tell your mother about this because I know how badly it would have upset her; she specifically asked me if you are/were suicidal, and I lied to her).

I forgive you for any domestic violence you committed against me; I recovered physically, not so much mentally.

Finally, I forgive you for raping me. It hasn't been five years yet, but I won't press charges. I might get a restraining order so I can sleep soundly at night, but I won't press charges. Why? Because I know you would end up in jail/prison, and not a mental institution where you deserve to be so you can get the help you need.


I'll never forget the good years we had together but I can only cry thinking about it because it ended so suddenly and without any warning. I wasn't prepared to watch someone I cared about go through severe schizophrenia and end up becoming violent towards me.

I NSFW'd the majority of this because of how god awfully depressing this story is. Don't repeat the same mistakes in life I have.

I wrote all of this out because I don't believe I could ever say all of this to my ex, even though if I was more brave I probably would.
 
I'm hurting too. I lost someone too. I was a good sister. Why are you so hard on me? I'm mad at you! We never had a relationship... and I would hate for you to die tomorrow because I would have nothing but regrets.
 
You I just met you properly in autumn, and this is crazy - but every since we first met, my heart skips a beat every time I see you. And you blush when you see me. I'm intrigued, I'm scared, I'm excited - fuck...I can't wait to get to know you better - find out what this all means, with no doubts.
 
I found a picture of you before you cut off your hair...and I'm going to keep it, because looking at it makes me feel happy. I still love you a little, but I can't wrap my mind around your new lifestyle. I'm not going to lie and say I wish you well, because if you're not with me I don't wish you well.
 
Illyria99 said:
I'm not going to lie and say I wish you well, because if you're not with me I don't wish you well.
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I've always wondered if I was an awful person for thinking that about my ex. In the movies and stuff they're always telling the other person they hope they'll be happy blablabla, but I don't want my ex to be happy with someone else, I really don't :p
It's probably mostly cuz he was a prick, but still.
 
Pagey said:
I've always wondered if I was an awful person for thinking that about my ex. In the movies and stuff they're always telling the other person they hope they'll be happy blablabla, but I don't want my ex to be happy with someone else, I really don't :p
It's probably mostly cuz he was a prick, but still.
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If someone I loved makes a choice to go elsewhere, I see no reason why he should be happy.

This doesn't make us awful people. ;)

It's not like I'd sit around and hope his dick falls off. Or that he gets run over by a speeding train... or chokes on his own vomit.
 
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