• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Say something you can't say to their face

Status
Not open for further replies.
We've been together for almost 9 months and you still have not told me that you loved me. I'm starting to wonder why I'm not deserving of those simple words.
 
Miss,

I know you're more or less engaged to him, and I know that I've been showing signs of liking you.

You said you might have kids with him, so I don't want to even try to get involved with you, I want to be friends. But you probably can tell that I like you, and I'm not sure how you feel about that. I think it's maybe making you insecure about the notion of marrying at such a young age. I'm afraid you're going to try to keep distance from me, to forget about your insecurities.

But it would be best for both of us for me to continue to be a friend, and for you to be able to face the fact that other guys do come along. He's much older, don't be pressured into settling down just because he is. You're in college, and openminded and crazy.

Marriage destroys lives, especially when people have kids. Don't get married yet. Don't have kids.

Be my friend.
 
Last edited:
modelskinny said:
We've been together for almost 9 months and you still have not told me that you loved me. I'm starting to wonder why I'm not deserving of those simple words.
Click to expand...

:( <3

So today is *the* day...can't help but feel like we should be together now, spending the day cuddling on the couch eating pizza and watching Lord of the Rings or something. It was fun when we did that. And you'd be telling me how much you loved me and how these past four years together had been the best of your life, and how you never wanted it to end, and then you'd pretend to serenade me with my guitar and break down laughing half-way through cuz you were so bad at it! That's how our last full week together was, just laughing and having sex for 3 days straight. It was amazing, you said so yourself, some of the happiest days of your life. And yet you still chose to end it and to be with that other fucking bitch. And when we talked again a few weeks later you said no, of course it wasn't as good with her as those last few days had been with me. So I don't understand. I don't understand why you picked her instead and why I was so undeserving of your love.
Please just think of me and think of all that today. This should have been our day, commemerating that moment 4 years ago when you made me so incredibly happy and disbeliving that we were actually going to be together. It's just a shame it had to end.
 
Sometimes I think that your depression, addiction and all this shit you're dealing with - that it's just because you are too lazy to do something about it. You say that you want to be healthy and happy and that you are trying, and I am there as I promised doing the best I can to show you how awesome life is - if you only started living it..."

But sometimes I feel that you are too lazy to care and you would be so much better if you DID something. Sometimes I think you say "depression" and "addiction" when you should be saying "lazy" and "spoiled"...

I'm sorry.

But can you just take these first steps and start walking? I don't know how long I can stand here watching you not move one inch, doing nothing, just sitting there. We all know life is shit and we all struggle. But we have to get up because no one else will get up for us. Get up. It's not "addiction" or "depression" (mainly, at least) - it's laziness.
 
For the first time in 3 years I asked myself..."Do I still love him the same"?

You completely broke my heart this past summer. You so easily walked away from me and into a bunch of dumb girls arms hoping for the chance to replace me. You couldn't. You could never have better than me and despite how shitty you treated me, I'd cry myself to sleep at night begging god to return you. I got what I wanted. I've spent the last 4 months laying next to you listening to you telling me how I'm the one for you and how much you love me. You proposed to me a few weeks ago..I said yes.


Why am I still suffering from a broken heart???
 
grumpygrouse said:
Sometimes I think that your depression, addiction and all this shit you're dealing with - that it's just because you are too lazy to do something about it. You say that you want to be healthy and happy and that you are trying, and I am there as I promised doing the best I can to show you how awesome life is - if you only started living it..."

But sometimes I feel that you are too lazy to care and you would be so much better if you DID something. Sometimes I think you say "depression" and "addiction" when you should be saying "lazy" and "spoiled"...

I'm sorry.

But can you just take these first steps and start walking? I don't know how long I can stand here watching you not move one inch, doing nothing, just sitting there. We all know life is shit and we all struggle. But we have to get up because no one else will get up for us. Get up. It's not "addiction" or "depression" (mainly, at least) - it's laziness.
Click to expand...

I had trouble reading this without feeling guilty as if you were my spouse talking about me. So here is what I have to say in this thread:

I'm sorry. For everything. I hope you understand that this is entirely my problem and has nothing to do with you. I don't use to hurt you. I don't lie about using because I want to lie or deceive you. I just want to make you happy at whatever cost and if that means hiding the single most embarrassing and difficult thing I struggle with from you... well, then so be it.

I lie because you deserve better than me. I lie because I wish I could be somebody else for you. I lie because your eyes are the most beautiful thing in the universe whenever your smiling. I don't have the heart to hurt you with the awful truth: I'm an addict and I don't know how to stop. I don't know if I can stop. I don't know if I want to stop (I am such a fucking piece of lowlife shit and you really do deserve so much better than me!).

I lie to you about using but secretly hope and pray you know me well enough to see the truth in my eyes. I pray that you will always be here to support me and that you will always love me as I have, do and will always love you. I love you so much but I fear you won't be able to see past my addiction. I just hope and pray that somehow, someway... you know, understand and accept everything.

Truth be told you are the single reason I'm still alive and still battling this addiction. Because without you I would have lost my life to this battle long ago. I would have either given up or completely lost myself to my own self destruction. Your love is the driving focus of my exsistence. My light at the end of the tunnel. My reason for getting out of bed each day. My reason for not giving up no matter how bad things get. I just wish you knew and accepted the truth...

Edit on 02/14/2013 to add:

I need you now more than ever yet you don't even really know just how bad, lonely and dark things are inside of me. I'm watching you sleep tonight and Im practicing over and over what I want to say to you (though never will) if I could bring up the strength. It all hurts so much inside and I could use your support.

Though, to be honest, its not that bad because I have you. We may not openly talk about this, and I don't have anyone to talk to about everything, but atleast I have you and that's a lot actually. You bring so much warmth, love and happiness into my life (that without you I wouldn't have any!)
 
Last edited:
i dont know why i still think about you.... i dont know why it even feels like i still have feelings for you.... everything was so fucked up when we were together and yet i still feel so close to you so many years later.... i guess its something that will never be but god damn i think i still love you in some strange way even though you helped ruin my life... i am glad we are both in better places and healthier now..... i miss you
 
A,
we hung out for bit with mutual friends and went bowling. B set the whole thing up cuz she knows I dig you and would treat you right unlike your current boyfriend. I don't know if you noticed me glancing at you frequently. theres just something about you. your smile, your laugh, and you're not an addict like me. hopefully we can kick it again sometime in the future. if you were single I woulda asked for your number but i have respect for your relationship. let's see what the future holds.
 
TCMVegas said:
Miss,

I know you're more or less engaged to him, and I know that I've been showing signs of liking you.

You said you might have kids with him, so I don't want to even try to get involved with you, I want to be friends. But you probably can tell that I like you, and I'm not sure how you feel about that. I think it's maybe making you insecure about the notion of marrying at such a young age. I'm afraid you're going to try to keep distance from me, to forget about your insecurities.

But it would be best for both of us for me to continue to be a friend, and for you to be able to face the fact that other guys do come along. He's much older, don't be pressured into settling down just because he is. You're in college, and openminded and crazy.

Marriage destroys lives, especially when people have kids. Don't get married yet. Don't have kids.

Be my friend.
Click to expand...



Followup:

Haven't seen her for 4 weeks, even though we have a class together :(

:(
 
There's nothing I couldn't say to your face... except I can't because you're dead. And I will self-destruct to punish you for leaving me.
 
You have a seriously nice rack and its distracting me from what you are trying to teach me. Please lecture me some more
 
Last edited:
Extremely short poem I wrote for my boyfriend but don't really dare to let him read so I'll post in here instead:

Don't lie so motionless and please don't stop breathing,
Don't let me have to check wether your heart is still beating,

And there's no need to be so paranoid,
Because nothing matters in the void,
From me you have nothing to fear,
Know that I'll be forever here.
 
I was honest with you when you asked me if I was using, and yet you yelled at me for not trusting you enough to support me through the struggle of sobriety. But now? You abandoned me. I made myself vulnerable by admitting my most embarrassing quality, and you handled it in the worst way possible.

I miss you so much. But I hate the fact that I love you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top