Hi all,
I already posted this in the RIP section, can't be bothered typing all this again, it's only happened tuesday night/wednesday morning and I haven't slept yet.
Some of you may have known my twin sister, White Oleander. Unfortunately, after a lifetime of fighting her recurring drug addictions, she passed away on Tues night sometime (31/8/10) at 23.
My sister was the most loving and caring person I knew. She had a troubled and sad life, she suffered abuse most of her childhood and was tormented by this in her adult life. She had a history of schizophrenia at the age of 10/11 - long before drugs were involved. She always kept up a bright and happy face, even when she was going through mental confusion with all her voices etc. She had attempted suicide and notified our family via this website a few years back and it was only thanks to someone from this website that we were able to get to her in time and save her. (I don't know who it was but they found us in the phone directory and called from overseas).
From her posts on here, I can see that she didn't want to live the life she was living. She was desperate to be free of the hold of her addiction. Unfortunately she was introduced to drugs very early and would have no doubt struggled with her problem for the rest of her life. (I was a heavy IV user just for a year a few years ago and I know - I see myself as a recovering drug addict for life).
It's such a shock that this has happened when she really seemed to be getting her life on track. It's such a waste. She had been 100% clean for ~12 months now, started a new diet and lost around 20kg, and she was very focused on her Accounting studies.
A sudden lapse in judgement and a moment of weakness was all it took and she paid for that mistake with her life.
She had a big exam on Monday that she apparently did very well in and she rewarded herself with some drugs on Tuesday, (no autopsy yet but at this stage I think it's safe to say it was either h, or a combo of h with something else). I tried to call her Tuesday evening with no answer, and when nobody had heard from her on Wednesday night alarm bells started ringing as she was very reliable. Our mum went to her apartment and found her overdosed and passed away from the night before. It seems like she passed in her sleep, which is at least some comfort.
Sorry this is so long but this was my twin sister and I'm still in total shock - it hasn't hit me yet. I can't help feeling I'm to blame in a way, we had a massive argument when I last saw her a couple of days prior, and I said some terrible things that I'm too ashamed to repeat to anybody. She was a sensitive person and I think I pushed her over the edge. I can't ever forgive myself for that, my 3 month old daughter is the only thing keeping me going.
R.I.P. my beautiful sister. I hope you have finally found peace and some happiness. Lara will miss her favourite auntie I'm so glad you got to meet her, even if it was only for a couple months.
I wanted to add a photo but I don't have one of her on the net (so can't upload via url, right?)