-
Bluelight
Shrine
A memorial
to Bluelighters
who have passed away
Post Pics Of Those Who Died From Drugs
- Thread starter Chaos23
- Start date
Lysis
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2008
- Messages
- 31,677
Thank you BL for keeping this thread. It's been over 2 years since I posted my Robert's pic. I read it every once in a while and remind myself of where I was. I realize that I was so suicidal and couldn't get the pain in my heart to go away. Now, after a breakup with a BF, I feel like it's nothing compared to losing him.
I also have this strange feeling seeing the images of others who have died from drugs. It's so hard to comprehend that someone is healthy and beautifully alive one minute and then the next they are gone. My
bleeds for others who have lost people to drugs.
I also have this strange feeling seeing the images of others who have died from drugs. It's so hard to comprehend that someone is healthy and beautifully alive one minute and then the next they are gone. My
bleeds for others who have lost people to drugs.
Strapped420
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2010
- Messages
- 30
RIP JIMMY "THE REV" SULLIVAN
died of oxymorphone,oxycodone,xanhax, and alchohol peacfully in his sleep. such a talented musician, and his life was cut short much to soon. i still cant get over his death. whats weird is he wrote a song 3 days before he died, basically preminising his death, he says "I hope youll find your own way, when im not with you tonight"...
REST IN PIECE JIMMY,
died of oxymorphone,oxycodone,xanhax, and alchohol peacfully in his sleep. such a talented musician, and his life was cut short much to soon. i still cant get over his death. whats weird is he wrote a song 3 days before he died, basically preminising his death, he says "I hope youll find your own way, when im not with you tonight"...
REST IN PIECE JIMMY,
foREVer
a2lambretta
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2009
- Messages
- 56
It seems like I have a friend that passes on every summer. Lately it seems like they were going to go sooner or later, but even so it's always a shock. I always feel that I could have done more.
I feel it's important to realize that when someone is very lost and wants go on from this life, maybe it can be celebrated in a way. Sometimes people never really find their way...
I feel it's important to realize that when someone is very lost and wants go on from this life, maybe it can be celebrated in a way. Sometimes people never really find their way...
tony314
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2009
- Messages
- 88
I would be on this list, my fiance broke up with me and i was a junky, I pulled the trigger but the bullet didn't fire. It should have, it didn't get wet, it was a quality bullet. Bad primer I guess. my condolences to all. A year later im back with her and clean.
To quote the killer, " It's not so bad, it's not so bad."
To quote the killer, " It's not so bad, it's not so bad."
severely etarded
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2009
- Messages
- 7,710
Friend of mine went to vietnam and an artillery shell landed in his tent in the middle of the night, through mud all over him. And he lived, because it didn't go off. What are the odds, huh? I guess it's not your time if it's not your time, right?
Ixchellian
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2010
- Messages
- 1,184
I had an 80mm mortar shell land right next to my hooch on my last deployment. It hit the hard dirt, bounced and the warhead just kinda broke apart. we played with it for a while before it disappeared one day.
I heard it come in.... and it sounded like someone tearing a piece of paper fast.
And that wasn't the last one to do that near me. lol
I heard it come in.... and it sounded like someone tearing a piece of paper fast.
And that wasn't the last one to do that near me. lol
PendulumAM
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2009
- Messages
- 265
David M - passed out on OxyContin and choked on his vomit in his sleep
I didn't know him for long but RIP
I didn't know him for long but RIP
tramaqueen
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2009
- Messages
- 67
My first love Anthony Martinez... 1971-2007
He died in 2007 complications from slamming heroin, he developed a massive abcess and eventually got septicimia. He chose not to get treated and die.
I dont have a picture of him and our time together.... but no need for a picture of him... I see his face on the face of our son...
I never got to tell him but somehow I think he knows
"Im so sorry I left babe, but I couldnt take anymore I was gonna kill myself...and you didnt want to stop, couldnt stop...it must have been an angel guiding my steps away from from our lifestyle... because unbeknowst to me when I left you I was 3 weeks pregnant with our beautiful son...Im sorry"
May you rest in peace now sweetheart.
He died in 2007 complications from slamming heroin, he developed a massive abcess and eventually got septicimia. He chose not to get treated and die.
I dont have a picture of him and our time together.... but no need for a picture of him... I see his face on the face of our son...
I never got to tell him but somehow I think he knows
"Im so sorry I left babe, but I couldnt take anymore I was gonna kill myself...and you didnt want to stop, couldnt stop...it must have been an angel guiding my steps away from from our lifestyle... because unbeknowst to me when I left you I was 3 weeks pregnant with our beautiful son...Im sorry"
May you rest in peace now sweetheart.
Dr migi
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2010
- Messages
- 167
This thread is full of deep emotion... When I see all these sucide from heroin, Painkiller OD or car accident from booze it gets me very sad and angry, everyone of us probably say " yea yea im very carful on my use of drugs, im not a kiddie..." but with the time, it just take ONE mistake and you can pass out forever.
Be more and more carful with this.
RIP everybody, I love you all.
Be more and more carful with this.
RIP everybody, I love you all.
skn
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2009
- Messages
- 273
yea well better to go in peace than with everyone annoyed by you, but if you cant control your addiction then by all means: help yourself
carrion Doll
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2008
- Messages
- 85
This one is for Jason R. I did not know him myself, I am posting on behalf of my husband. Jason was one of his best friends growing up. We had all planned to get together with some other mutual friends but it did not happen before he fell into a coma due to complications from injecting roxis. The fucked up prison system here in Florida would not even allow his twin brother to attends the funeral. Chad and Matt sure do miss you...
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JunkiZen80x
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2010
- Messages
- 1
...
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lozgod
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2010
- Messages
- 715
Please don't get offended anyone, but do ever envy those that are "out". Like they don't have to deal with this bullshit life of addiction anymore. I spent four years in prison and I had a cell mate that eventually hung himself. He only had 16 months, which to me wasn't shit. I was heavy in the criminal lifestyle then. Even my 4 years was easy on me mentally. 16 months was like a walk in the park but to this man one day was too much. He chose to leave prison at his own hands by ending his life. Knwoing him it wasn't suicide in his eyes. It was leaving prison.
I look at death sometimes not as death but as an "out". No plans for suicide. Not saying that. Just saying death is coming eventually whether I stay getting hi or I get clean and go on to do great things. Either way I am sure the emptiness that leads me to choose addiction will always be there. I'll never be truly happy I believe because I never experinced it. I hate the feeling of someone expressing their love towards me, it is uncomfortable and while I care deeply for some people in my life I do not know if I can truly experince love. It is as comfortable as opiate withdrawal to me. It makes my skin crawl and makes me want to run.
Am I alone in envying those that escaped this emptiness even if it meant the end of thier life?
I look at death sometimes not as death but as an "out". No plans for suicide. Not saying that. Just saying death is coming eventually whether I stay getting hi or I get clean and go on to do great things. Either way I am sure the emptiness that leads me to choose addiction will always be there. I'll never be truly happy I believe because I never experinced it. I hate the feeling of someone expressing their love towards me, it is uncomfortable and while I care deeply for some people in my life I do not know if I can truly experince love. It is as comfortable as opiate withdrawal to me. It makes my skin crawl and makes me want to run.
Am I alone in envying those that escaped this emptiness even if it meant the end of thier life?
Hi all,
I already posted this in the RIP section, can't be bothered typing all this again, it's only happened tuesday night/wednesday morning and I haven't slept yet.
Some of you may have known my twin sister, White Oleander. Unfortunately, after a lifetime of fighting her recurring drug addictions, she passed away on Tues night sometime (31/8/10) at 23.
My sister was the most loving and caring person I knew. She had a troubled and sad life, she suffered abuse most of her childhood and was tormented by this in her adult life. She had a history of schizophrenia at the age of 10/11 - long before drugs were involved. She always kept up a bright and happy face, even when she was going through mental confusion with all her voices etc. She had attempted suicide and notified our family via this website a few years back and it was only thanks to someone from this website that we were able to get to her in time and save her. (I don't know who it was but they found us in the phone directory and called from overseas).
From her posts on here, I can see that she didn't want to live the life she was living. She was desperate to be free of the hold of her addiction. Unfortunately she was introduced to drugs very early and would have no doubt struggled with her problem for the rest of her life. (I was a heavy IV user just for a year a few years ago and I know - I see myself as a recovering drug addict for life).
It's such a shock that this has happened when she really seemed to be getting her life on track. It's such a waste. She had been 100% clean for ~12 months now, started a new diet and lost around 20kg, and she was very focused on her Accounting studies.
A sudden lapse in judgement and a moment of weakness was all it took and she paid for that mistake with her life.
She had a big exam on Monday that she apparently did very well in and she rewarded herself with some drugs on Tuesday, (no autopsy yet but at this stage I think it's safe to say it was either h, or a combo of h with something else). I tried to call her Tuesday evening with no answer, and when nobody had heard from her on Wednesday night alarm bells started ringing as she was very reliable. Our mum went to her apartment and found her overdosed and passed away from the night before. It seems like she passed in her sleep, which is at least some comfort.
Sorry this is so long but this was my twin sister and I'm still in total shock - it hasn't hit me yet. I can't help feeling I'm to blame in a way, we had a massive argument when I last saw her a couple of days prior, and I said some terrible things that I'm too ashamed to repeat to anybody. She was a sensitive person and I think I pushed her over the edge. I can't ever forgive myself for that, my 3 month old daughter is the only thing keeping me going.
R.I.P. my beautiful sister. I hope you have finally found peace and some happiness. Lara will miss her favourite auntie I'm so glad you got to meet her, even if it was only for a couple months.
I wanted to add a photo but I don't have one of her on the net (so can't upload via url, right?)
I already posted this in the RIP section, can't be bothered typing all this again, it's only happened tuesday night/wednesday morning and I haven't slept yet.
Some of you may have known my twin sister, White Oleander. Unfortunately, after a lifetime of fighting her recurring drug addictions, she passed away on Tues night sometime (31/8/10) at 23.
My sister was the most loving and caring person I knew. She had a troubled and sad life, she suffered abuse most of her childhood and was tormented by this in her adult life. She had a history of schizophrenia at the age of 10/11 - long before drugs were involved. She always kept up a bright and happy face, even when she was going through mental confusion with all her voices etc. She had attempted suicide and notified our family via this website a few years back and it was only thanks to someone from this website that we were able to get to her in time and save her. (I don't know who it was but they found us in the phone directory and called from overseas).
From her posts on here, I can see that she didn't want to live the life she was living. She was desperate to be free of the hold of her addiction. Unfortunately she was introduced to drugs very early and would have no doubt struggled with her problem for the rest of her life. (I was a heavy IV user just for a year a few years ago and I know - I see myself as a recovering drug addict for life).
It's such a shock that this has happened when she really seemed to be getting her life on track. It's such a waste. She had been 100% clean for ~12 months now, started a new diet and lost around 20kg, and she was very focused on her Accounting studies.
A sudden lapse in judgement and a moment of weakness was all it took and she paid for that mistake with her life.
She had a big exam on Monday that she apparently did very well in and she rewarded herself with some drugs on Tuesday, (no autopsy yet but at this stage I think it's safe to say it was either h, or a combo of h with something else). I tried to call her Tuesday evening with no answer, and when nobody had heard from her on Wednesday night alarm bells started ringing as she was very reliable. Our mum went to her apartment and found her overdosed and passed away from the night before. It seems like she passed in her sleep, which is at least some comfort.
Sorry this is so long but this was my twin sister and I'm still in total shock - it hasn't hit me yet. I can't help feeling I'm to blame in a way, we had a massive argument when I last saw her a couple of days prior, and I said some terrible things that I'm too ashamed to repeat to anybody. She was a sensitive person and I think I pushed her over the edge. I can't ever forgive myself for that, my 3 month old daughter is the only thing keeping me going.
R.I.P. my beautiful sister. I hope you have finally found peace and some happiness. Lara will miss her favourite auntie I'm so glad you got to meet her, even if it was only for a couple months.
I wanted to add a photo but I don't have one of her on the net (so can't upload via url, right?)
mario323213
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Messages
- 94
seriously all they fucking have is "drugs are bad! you will look like this!" then in the fucking media its all like "were cool cuz were doing drugs! its so much fun!" fucking bitch ass government..fucking up the little kids its so fucking sad
lozgod
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2010
- Messages
- 715
I do not know anyone here. But I almost feel compelled to give someone my name and some pictures of me and a way to find out my demise if I disappear from this board so they can confirm what happened because I love heroin so much if it isn't prison it will be death. I coming to a realization that I have no intentions of quitting. I couldn't imagine my life without it. I'd almost be better off dead. No disrespect to anyone that has been hurt by the loss of someone close to them, not trying to devalue anyone's loss. Just being honest. I love heroin and it's only end is jails, institutions, and death. I've been to prison, been institutionalized, I got one more stop. This thread.
opiatekrzy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2004
- Messages
- 4,021
being in the drug world since 2000, i have experienced deaths from a few people:
Oct 25th 2001 R.I.P-Darryl Johnson(19), Dan Otremba(15), Jack Gallivan(15)-(smoking pot in a car after getting out of detention at school, all dead at scene.
Greg Chaltain 2004(19)-ex-Girlfriend found him hanging in his room depression from drug use/breakup
David Gugino(26)Found dead in his sleep prolonged use crack night before, heart gave out.
Eric Gadik 2009(24)- Just got out of jail Od'ed and died from IVing cocaine and heroin.
Myself- Almost saw my life pass me by as i lay on the ground on my bedroom floor after injecting 3/10th's of molly crystals, extreme buzzing ringing, collapsed to the floor, chest pains, heart racing, thought i was slowly fading away into heaven as i just had a newborn son with my fiancee. 20minutes later i woke up, wondering did i die? is my dad really on the computer bitching bouut a bad hand on a poker game? did i make it alive, or is this heaven?
-SCARIEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE
Oct 25th 2001 R.I.P-Darryl Johnson(19), Dan Otremba(15), Jack Gallivan(15)-(smoking pot in a car after getting out of detention at school, all dead at scene.
Greg Chaltain 2004(19)-ex-Girlfriend found him hanging in his room depression from drug use/breakup
David Gugino(26)Found dead in his sleep prolonged use crack night before, heart gave out.
Eric Gadik 2009(24)- Just got out of jail Od'ed and died from IVing cocaine and heroin.
Myself- Almost saw my life pass me by as i lay on the ground on my bedroom floor after injecting 3/10th's of molly crystals, extreme buzzing ringing, collapsed to the floor, chest pains, heart racing, thought i was slowly fading away into heaven as i just had a newborn son with my fiancee. 20minutes later i woke up, wondering did i die? is my dad really on the computer bitching bouut a bad hand on a poker game? did i make it alive, or is this heaven?
-SCARIEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE