ohshea
Bluelighter
Hahah this story made me laugh so hard its so true.
NA/AA/rehab sayings that you like or hate
- Thread starter Tommyboy
- Start date
Hahah this story made me laugh so hard its so true.
HCL
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2013
- Messages
- 249
Reminds me of people who get junked on Benadryl because they can't get their opioids.
One of the sayings that I actually like because it's simple and true, is "just make the next right decision." That's simple enough and is pretty true that all you can really do to ensure a better, sober future (or this can apply to anyone even without a substance abuse problem) is make the next right decision.
Even worse is the hugging. I'm barely comfortable going to shake some guys hands, and then they put their arms around me for a hug. Have they ever heard of personal space? If I'm putting my hand out for a hand shake did it ever occur to you that it's because I'm not comfortable hugging a stranger like that? Apparently not.
Oh god, I hated that one too. We did that at outpatient while holding hands at the end, and the counselor would have us all shaking our hands up and down while all of us were holding hands in a circle. I particularly hated it because a number of the people there were still using after months of being there, so when exactly was it going to start working for them?
I have had a hard time holding back laughter when some people mentioned that their DOC was marijuana. I barely consider it a drug, and I sure as hell can't relate to someone who the worst thing they've been doing is sparking up a bowl after work each day, blowing a whopping $50 on their habit each week!
Yea, I don't mind the "take what you want and leave the rest" slogan. A slightly cooler version of that I heard was "take the message, leave the mess."
Another contradiction would be how they say that if you really want it you'll be able to stop, but then they say you need meetings to be able to stop.
See below quote and response.
Now for a few that I hate.
"Turn it over" - To who, and what are they going to do with 'it' that is going to make things better for me?
I also don't like how "thanks for sharing" and "keeping coming back" is the only response that we can give to people that just shared, some of whom just told us some crazy stuff that they need feedback on. I understand that people talk after the meetings, but I also feel like some people may feel like nobody cares about them if they just shared something very private and unsettling, and all that they were told was to keep coming back as well as being thanked for sharing that disturbing story that they can't tell anybody else.
"90 meetings in 90 days" - I told my counselor in my outpatient group that I was going to walk right out of the group if I heard that saying again. They put way too much stock in this saying, as if all that you have to do to be sober is attend 90 meetings in 90 days and poof!!! Smooth sailing from there! There was a guy in my group that did his 90/90 and never went back to 'the rooms' (another term that I absolutely can't stand) again after that, so when the counselor would be pushing meetings on us he would tell her he did his 90/90 so to back off. He didn't knock the meetings, it just wasn't for him since he believed that since he really wanted it, he would stay clean and he had the longest clean time of anybody in the group. I'm sure the counselor would say that's because he did his 90/90 but any member of the fellowship would say he's not in recovery since he's not 'working the program.'
I don't like the thinking problem either, and about suggestions. You're saying my thinking sucks, but then you're saying to take suggestions from the people around me who you've told have stinking thinking.
"Your best thinking is what got you here" - Um, no. The decisions that I made while strung out, being either high or withdrawing all the time is what got me here. I wouldn't have kept using like I did if I wasn't physically dependent and having to face horrible withdrawals if I didn't continue to use. So the 'we don't have a drinking problem, we have a thinking problem' saying is completely flawed for most of us.
Another one of my counselors used to say "if you're a bank robber addicted to heroin and you kick the heroin, you're still a fucking bank robber." I highly doubt that they would still be a bank robber after kicking drugs since I'm willing to bet that they only robbed the bank to support their habit. And that saying works the other way too. "If you're a nice, friendly guy with a decent job and who handles their responsibilities while being a drug addict, then if you kick the drugs you are still a nice, responsible, friendly guy with a decent job. Nothing wrong with that!
I'm sure I'll think of more later, but that's all for now.
Edit: 'While you're in here [the meeting or outpatient group] your disease/monkey on your back is out there doing push-ups." Although that's another one that I don't particularly like, it holds some truth to it in many cases. It's mostly meant to discourage relapses, and means that your next run will be worse than your previous one, which is often true.
Even worse is the hugging. I'm barely comfortable going to shake some guys hands, and then they put their arms around me for a hug. Have they ever heard of personal space? If I'm putting my hand out for a hand shake did it ever occur to you that it's because I'm not comfortable hugging a stranger like that? Apparently not.
Oh god, I hated that one too. We did that at outpatient while holding hands at the end, and the counselor would have us all shaking our hands up and down while all of us were holding hands in a circle. I particularly hated it because a number of the people there were still using after months of being there, so when exactly was it going to start working for them?
I have had a hard time holding back laughter when some people mentioned that their DOC was marijuana. I barely consider it a drug, and I sure as hell can't relate to someone who the worst thing they've been doing is sparking up a bowl after work each day, blowing a whopping $50 on their habit each week!
Yea, I don't mind the "take what you want and leave the rest" slogan. A slightly cooler version of that I heard was "take the message, leave the mess."
Another contradiction would be how they say that if you really want it you'll be able to stop, but then they say you need meetings to be able to stop.
And yet they smoke cigs and drink coffee a ton. Psychoactive compounds are psychoactive compounds. Sticking to a maintenance program is definitely clean from your former addiction. Though not 100% sober clean of psychoactives... but then again most of America can't get by without their coffee or cigs. If only they knew.
Would they really kick you out of AA/NA if you went along and abided by everything, but still had a different personal religious or spiritual belief? Like, you go along with it and say the prayers and stuff to abide by the program but still don't personally adhere to their Christian (or catholic?) beliefs? Wow...
See below quote and response.
^ This. They can't kick you out, because after all, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using!
^ Wow. Like they say, 'once a cucumber turns into a pickle it can never be a cucumber again' meaning once an addict, always an addict.
Now for a few that I hate.
"Turn it over" - To who, and what are they going to do with 'it' that is going to make things better for me?
I also don't like how "thanks for sharing" and "keeping coming back" is the only response that we can give to people that just shared, some of whom just told us some crazy stuff that they need feedback on. I understand that people talk after the meetings, but I also feel like some people may feel like nobody cares about them if they just shared something very private and unsettling, and all that they were told was to keep coming back as well as being thanked for sharing that disturbing story that they can't tell anybody else.
"90 meetings in 90 days" - I told my counselor in my outpatient group that I was going to walk right out of the group if I heard that saying again. They put way too much stock in this saying, as if all that you have to do to be sober is attend 90 meetings in 90 days and poof!!! Smooth sailing from there! There was a guy in my group that did his 90/90 and never went back to 'the rooms' (another term that I absolutely can't stand) again after that, so when the counselor would be pushing meetings on us he would tell her he did his 90/90 so to back off. He didn't knock the meetings, it just wasn't for him since he believed that since he really wanted it, he would stay clean and he had the longest clean time of anybody in the group. I'm sure the counselor would say that's because he did his 90/90 but any member of the fellowship would say he's not in recovery since he's not 'working the program.'
I don't like the thinking problem either, and about suggestions. You're saying my thinking sucks, but then you're saying to take suggestions from the people around me who you've told have stinking thinking.
"Your best thinking is what got you here" - Um, no. The decisions that I made while strung out, being either high or withdrawing all the time is what got me here. I wouldn't have kept using like I did if I wasn't physically dependent and having to face horrible withdrawals if I didn't continue to use. So the 'we don't have a drinking problem, we have a thinking problem' saying is completely flawed for most of us.
Another one of my counselors used to say "if you're a bank robber addicted to heroin and you kick the heroin, you're still a fucking bank robber." I highly doubt that they would still be a bank robber after kicking drugs since I'm willing to bet that they only robbed the bank to support their habit. And that saying works the other way too. "If you're a nice, friendly guy with a decent job and who handles their responsibilities while being a drug addict, then if you kick the drugs you are still a nice, responsible, friendly guy with a decent job. Nothing wrong with that!
I'm sure I'll think of more later, but that's all for now.
Edit: 'While you're in here [the meeting or outpatient group] your disease/monkey on your back is out there doing push-ups." Although that's another one that I don't particularly like, it holds some truth to it in many cases. It's mostly meant to discourage relapses, and means that your next run will be worse than your previous one, which is often true.
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Lol I can definitely relate to what you wrote!
^ They hate it if you don't 'work the program' / 'work the steps' though, and say you are bound to relapse if you just sit there without working the steps with a sponsor. I don't agree with that because I found outpatient rehab to be a lot more effective than NA meetings, and we didn't do any steps in outpatient.
The 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous
I just never 'got it' really. Like even step one, how do I admit that, and to whom? It looks like you could fly through the steps until you get to making lists and amends. Like the first 7 shouldn't take long other than step 4 since it's a list. And then fast-forward to step 7, do I just say a prayer asking god/my higher power to remove my shortcomings? If I made a list of them already then shouldn't that take 20 seconds? "OK sponsor, I asked my higher power to remove my shortcomings a second ago in a prayer, time to move on to 8!"
The 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous
- We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
- We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I just never 'got it' really. Like even step one, how do I admit that, and to whom? It looks like you could fly through the steps until you get to making lists and amends. Like the first 7 shouldn't take long other than step 4 since it's a list. And then fast-forward to step 7, do I just say a prayer asking god/my higher power to remove my shortcomings? If I made a list of them already then shouldn't that take 20 seconds? "OK sponsor, I asked my higher power to remove my shortcomings a second ago in a prayer, time to move on to 8!"
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'medicine cabinet'
Bluelighter
Ugh fuck, reading all this shit is reinforceing why i despise na. Yea it works for people, and hey thats great whatever they can do to stop using drugs except caffeine and nicoteine. Step 5 sounds weird and cultish...and another human being lol what?
I think that's where the sponsor comes into play. I remember when I was at a 'step meeting' they were discussing step 5 and a lot of them were talking about how they had everything listed and then set up a meeting with their sponsor to read over it with. Yea, not for me.
bennyZA
Bluelighter
I could never sit down with someone and list all the fucked up shit I've done... there are quite a few thing I'm not proud of that I'm taking to the grave.
About that coffee thing... when I was forced to go to a duel treatment program I remember they'd only serve decaf, but people would bum rush the coffee as soon as it got there, pounding that shit, trying to catch whatever buzz they can. People did the same at night with trazadone. Rushing to get a non-drug cause it's the closest thing there is. Goddamn, I wonder what happens when someone needs some nyquil for a cold.
About that coffee thing... when I was forced to go to a duel treatment program I remember they'd only serve decaf, but people would bum rush the coffee as soon as it got there, pounding that shit, trying to catch whatever buzz they can. People did the same at night with trazadone. Rushing to get a non-drug cause it's the closest thing there is. Goddamn, I wonder what happens when someone needs some nyquil for a cold.
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Whosajiggawaaa
Bluelighter
Reminds me of my time. Snorting anti dps, huffing deoderant. Just a stupid pointless experience, one I remember fondly though for some reason. Probably the movie nights, the snacks, the bit of closeness with "new friends", also the drama (mostly I cause lol) - i REALLY ENJOYED THAT.
'medicine cabinet'
Bluelighter
Uhhhh lmao...if i could erase all my inpatient or "bug house" memories i gladly would. The crazy coke head chick i dated for a little, everything else...christ.
Seyer
Bluelight Crew
A PDF of this thread should be sent to all NA/AA locations %)
By 'bug house' do you mean sober houses / half-way houses? They are all really nasty around here since most of them are kind of funded by the gov't since the DSS grants so little for housing each month that people coming off the streets looking to get into a sober house will only be granted between $309 and $475 (the 475 is if the place claims to feed you so they take the money out of your food stamps and you are left without any) which is nothing in NY, so they usually cram 3-4 people into each room, making it anywhere from 12-18 people per house. Since most of those people aren't the most cleanly at that time in their lives there's always bed bugs and roaches in the houses.
Some of the other houses that are a little more expensive (still just around $500/month) but the majority of them are sketchy, and are run by someone trying to make a buck off of the state by turning the house into a 'sober house' (which in a lot of cases is far from the reality of it) so they can collect housing grants from a bunch of people so the people running the house can live there for free or something.
I've only heard of a few that are legit, and they will run you $600-700 a month, and you are still sharing a room with 2-3 other dudes. There are a lot of people profiting off of drug abusers and 'recovery' and when there is a high demand people are going to step up and supply.
Like they could use more literature. They've got enough pamphlets going around as is!
then live with it.. easier to be a little brave than it is to "try" and carry that shit for all day..
'medicine cabinet'
Bluelighter
Yea bug house has a wide span of definitions. I mean inpatient rehabs, but hw houses and the like are def bug houses. Any thing where im surrounded by a bunch of addicts who are agitated and trying to snort their trazadone, chain smoking cigs and talking about how they had the best connec lol.
Seyer
Bluelight Crew
But this would be literature for the people "running the show"Like they could use more literature. They've got enough pamphlets going around as is!
aka a letter explaining how broken their system is.
Mr.Scagnattie
Bluelighter
But this would be literature for the people "running the show"
Something tells me they don't wanna hear about that... hah.
Seyer
Bluelight Crew
Yeah who really enjoys it when the shoe is on the other foot haha
'medicine cabinet'
Bluelighter
Try and tell these ppl anything that contradicts their notion of the perfect little bubble of self denial they live in and they are the first to get up in arms. The hypocracy ive experienced in those places was unreal.
ConfusedHippy
Bluelighter
One thing I've learned, if someone is sure of their beliefs it takes a life altering experience to change them, and even then it might not work. You can't use logic against faith in a belief of any kind