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My plentyoffish.com meet-up gone wrong...

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I know the definition of domestic violence, and I didn't learn that from watching TV. Loosely, it means that the perpetrator is alleged to have committed assault resulting in harm to the satisfaction of the cops. The concept of people who live together or are in an intimate or dating relationship beating each other up is not foreign. There are warning signs, notably hostility, aggressive present behavior, alcohol, drugs, past behavior toward others, and yep, attitude.

Hardly am I profiling. And I can think of worse criminals than the inflammatory example of Cary Stayner, the guy who was convicted of murdering four women in Mariposa County, California (seriously). I don't know whether he slashed them, but he got caught and he is presently on death row. Part of his confession was that he fantasized about murdering women since he was a child, and luckily he was caught before he murdered more.

I'll go with the guy who gives me a wink or bats his eyelashes sweetly before the guy who has to prove he is interested by force. And you admit that you have never been on an actual date. It's not like TV necessarily. Most first dates are a getting-to-know-you process that is based in conversation. The way to my heart on a first date is for my date to talk about his life and ask me about mine. It's meant to be lighthearted. A sweet, thoughtful gesture such as walking me to my car or giving me a hug is the way to lead to a sweet first kiss. I don't see the OP being capable of doing that. Yelling at me is definitely not smooth, that's for sure. Basic social skills and etiquette should be a given.

I've had arguments with my parents and even a couple uncomfortable conversations with LEO, but nothing that led to permanent disconnection or charges. It's a misconception that all Bluelighters are criminals. Most of us are pretty peaceful people who are most definitely not socially inept.

Honestly I didn't even know their was a "Yosemite" strangler or whatever, I guess maybe I subconsciously made the connection....Yeah, there's nothing funny about that....

To read through this thread, I definitely would say the OP sees himself as an outsider who feels he can't relate with most of the population. I don't think it's just women. More than anything he sounds socially awkward, but i don't see anything that suggests predatory behavior or trying to take advantage of people younger than himself. Maybe he's just running into people who feel as awkward and vulnerable as he does....Most online predators would misrepresent facts about themselves in order to gain the trust of their victims. If anything, this guy just seems to keep putting his foot in his mouth!

I've always been able to fine common ground socially with people, and I think that's one of the most important things, especially when meeting people that you're not familiar with. I have some pretty non-mainstream views, I'd say, but I don't expect everybody to be me....

There's a lot of people that watch TV shows and consume all kinds of media and products that seem very meaningless and disposable....Shitty reality TV shows and forgettable pop music that's more about image than substance, by a long shot! I like stuff that has more meaning to it, but my girlfriend has shown me how to appreciate a lot of this stuff just for the sheer cheesiness of it....I used to take it super-seriously and think that pop culture was evil and the enemy of truth..etc etc etc...I still believe it kind of, but I know lots of people that listen to pop music, dress in the latest fashions and are basically "pop culture whores" in every way that aren't bad people....

I'm babbling here, I guess I just understand the OPs frustration with his life and with the world....He may not be dealing with it %100 in the best way, but, for me at least, I don't see anything THAT alarming....
sorry for going on there
 
Honestly I didn't even know their was a "Yosemite" strangler or whatever, I guess maybe I subconsciously made the connection....Yeah, there's nothing funny about that....

To read through this thread, I definitely would say the OP sees himself as an outsider who feels he can't relate with most of the population. I don't think it's just women. More than anything he sounds socially awkward, but i don't see anything that suggests predatory behavior or trying to take advantage of people younger than himself. Maybe he's just running into people who feel as awkward and vulnerable as he does....Most online predators would misrepresent facts about themselves in order to gain the trust of their victims. If anything, this guy just seems to keep putting his foot in his mouth!

I've always been able to fine common ground socially with people, and I think that's one of the most important things, especially when meeting people that you're not familiar with. I have some pretty non-mainstream views, I'd say, but I don't expect everybody to be me....

There's a lot of people that watch TV shows and consume all kinds of media and products that seem very meaningless and disposable....Shitty reality TV shows and forgettable pop music that's more about image than substance, by a long shot! I like stuff that has more meaning to it, but my girlfriend has shown me how to appreciate a lot of this stuff just for the sheer cheesiness of it....I used to take it super-seriously and think that pop culture was evil and the enemy of truth..etc etc etc...I still believe it kind of, but I know lots of people that listen to pop music, dress in the latest fashions and are basically "pop culture whores" in every way that aren't bad people....

I'm babbling here, I guess I just understand the OPs frustration with his life and with the world....He may not be dealing with it %100 in the best way, but, for me at least, I don't see anything THAT alarming....
sorry for going on there

Word. *high five to the scumbags of the Earth*
 
^Yeah if you're trolling us, I'll be pissed, we just wasted a lotta time dammit!

I lived in detention! Not really a troublemaker, just never was where I was supposed to be
 
I must confess I don't understand all the hate in this thread, so much of it seems entirely founded on assumptions. Seems to me Korey obviously realizes he made a mistake, thus the existence of this thread in the first place, not to mention his continual gestures of thanks towards everyone who is hurling insults his way. Sounds to me like you two simply had little chemistry, and then things went wrong. Not even that badly wrong to be honest. Getting annoyed, even at something small, doesn't mean you are a future abuser or that you need therapy, it sounds like you were pissed off. Which is fine. Taking it out verbally on her obviously won't help, but being able to realize within minutes that she annoys you could actually be a good thing, because you know what will or won't work. Honestly, she sounds like the type that would of perturbed me too, being a little aloof myself, what with her judgmental prodding. This doesn't mean that you need meds and therapy, or that she needs to change either, it just means there is no way in hell a relationship would work. Which is fine, provided you are patient and honest in telling her that.

Just sounds like you could try to be a bit more understanding, and less condescending of "normal" people. Who knows, tomorrow you could meet a chick that totally gets you, and thinks that your lifestyle and worldview are badass. Takes all kinds man, just put yourself out there.
 
I must confess I don't understand all the hate in this thread, so much of it seems entirely founded on assumptions. Seems to me Korey obviously realizes he made a mistake, thus the existence of this thread in the first place, not to mention his continual gestures of thanks towards everyone who is hurling insults his way. Sounds to me like you two simply had little chemistry, and then things went wrong. Not even that badly wrong to be honest. Getting annoyed, even at something small, doesn't mean you are a future abuser or that you need therapy, it sounds like you were pissed off. Which is fine. Taking it out verbally on her obviously won't help, but being able to realize within minutes that she annoys you could actually be a good thing, because you know what will or won't work. Honestly, she sounds like the type that would of perturbed me too, being a little aloof myself, what with her judgmental prodding. This doesn't mean that you need meds and therapy, or that she needs to change either, it just means there is no way in hell a relationship would work. Which is fine, provided you are patient and honest in telling her that.

Just sounds like you could try to be a bit more understanding, and less condescending of "normal" people. Who knows, tomorrow you could meet a chick that totally gets you, and thinks that your lifestyle and worldview are badass. Takes all kinds man, just put yourself out there.

Thanks very much friend, for the incredibly uplifting and wise words.
 
Okay, so we have person A and person B who have corresponded all day about a potential meet-up at 1900 hours. The time comes and person B is texting person A that she is on her way and the last message says she'll be 5 min. Then she disappears, makes no attempt to contact person A via phone, mobile device, or computer for hours and hours and provides no explanation for this either. That doesn't justify being angry?

lysis, I don't know what your deal is, but I'm looking for adive. If you don't have it, fine. I'm not here to be mocked. And you're a mod?

You got stood up. Big deal it has happened to most people at one time or another. I once sat in a restaurant for an hour waiting for my date to turn up & she didn't. Got a call to say she was on her way & then when I rang her after waiting an hour her phone was off. She rang me the next day to apologise saying she got caught up & I told her to lose my number & moved on.

Then again if you have no car or phone or job you are hardly what 95% of women would consider any type of catch. Not saying these things are the be all & end all but they are 3 things that most normal people have in their 20's. Please don't take that as a personal attack it is just the reality of life.
 
Also I can't help but think of this when I read the "stop looking at me" part. Admittedly this guy ordered bacon on his burger but you get the drift.....
 
You got stood up. Big deal it has happened to most people at one time or another. I once sat in a restaurant for an hour waiting for my date to turn up & she didn't. Got a call to say she was on her way & then when I rang her after waiting an hour her phone was off. She rang me the next day to apologise saying she got caught up & I told her to lose my number & moved on.

Then again if you have no car or phone or job you are hardly what 95% of women would consider any type of catch. Not saying these things are the be all & end all but they are 3 things that most normal people have in their 20's. Please don't take that as a personal attack it is just the reality of life.

No I am not offended at all. I appreciate the response.

I understand many people get stood up and it isn't totally unheard of or whatever. I'm just stating why I got pissed off and had every right to feel pissed. The cell phone battery dying is understandable; the fact that she put in no effort to contact me to tell me what was going on for hours and hours is not. You apparently weren't pleased in your situation too if you cut her off for it.

I lost my job 2-3 weeks ago. I am not on disability and am currently looking for more work. I've had three different jobs this year that each lasted between 5 weeks to 3 months, and then I'm left searching again. It's not like I don't ever work and don't look for work. This chick however was on disability and had been unemployed for ages apparently so there's nothing she could have complained about considering her situation. She didn't care at all. I was just recently out of work. It was mainly the cell phone shit she didn't understand.

I don't have a car because I have never been into cars, as well as many other things that people consider neccessities in life. The same goes with the cell phone. I simply don't talk on the phone. People think it's weird when I say I don't watch TV or movies. In the past I haven't even owned a bed simply because I didn't find it necessary. Or I do things like eat a strict, repetetive, bland diet of nuts, soy, legumes and fruits and vegetables day after day. And I drink my morning regimen of 250ml each of soy milk, veggie juice and apple/ orange juice everyday straight out of a measuring cup to ensure I have the exact quantity, and feel I don't need a regular cup or mug. Just a few very minor examples of ways my lifestyle may be odd to some - nothing too serious or anything. I have never been into steretypical men's interests like tools, auto-mechanic stuff, cars, sports. I don't understand why people would try and accuse me of being a troll in this thread just because I'm weird or different. There's just many things that make me contrarian in my lifestyle and that's my nature. I'm not about to change that and turn into something I'm not in a desperate attempt to get girls who wouldn't like the real me in the first place.

I have been erroneously accused of being bitter, boring or miserable by people who I haven't got a chance to open up with. I can't express my true self with most people because I'm too shy and antisocial and feel insignificant so most people never get a chance to see me become comfortable enough around them to see the true me. With the people who I have been able to come out of my shell around, I have been called eccentric at times. This isn't accurate though, because by definition, an eccentric lives a bizarre, unorthodox lifestyle yet is happy, content and not dealing with mental illness, which obviously does not describe me.

I've also always been a huge fan of walking, as I live in a town that you can walk from one side to the other in like 90 minutes. I walk a couple hours a day. I love just walking and listening to my Ipod. I love hip hop music and try to listen to a new hip hop album everyday. it's easily my biggest hobby or interest. I'd probably walk most of the time even if I had a car, I've been involved in Zen Buddhism and have been practicing zazen meditation for about an hour everyday for years and years. (As stated earlier, I'm very spiritual, and spiritual practice and study takes up a lot of my time also.) I started doing Zen when I was 17 and am now 25. After years of practice, the effects that you cultivate while sitting transfer over into your daily routine. As a result, nice long somber walks can have a pleasing meditative use when you've learned to harness your own concentrated awareness. I love to walk in the beautiful autumn weather especially, or on overcast days. For years, countless people in town claim they see me walking everyday, all the time. Sometimes it bothers me, wondering what the hell do these people possibly think of me; other times I just think fuck it, I'm just doin me nigga.

I figure I'll drop my link to my profile that I use, espeically since people are now accusing me of being a troll. (Laika, a mod, just vouched for me earlier saying I'm legit and we've known for a decade. Plus I've been here since 2009 but whatever) Some parts of the profile are kind of joking, like the headline. I actually am recently going on a quest for heavier set black girls who i find very attractive, but I am generally open-minded towards all sizes, ages and races. I didn't fill out much in the about me section but whatever. What I did put you probably won't understand. It's just my outlandish humour I have - just fuckin around. I want people to see my profile as a little odd anyways so that it attracts the oddballs naturally. If any girls would like to tell me what they think, please do give feedback, criticism and advise. But I'm looking for honest feedback, not insults, so save that shit for someone else. There's been enough needless, unwarranted insults being hurled around like one of the last posters mentioned. If you don't like me or what I have to say, or don't have anything useful to say but talk shit, it's as simple as staying out and not posting in the thread. And I know I'm not sexy lol, but I welcome some comments on my pics or any tips on what I can do to be more attractive physically. Here's my profile ladies and gentlemen - this is where it all goes down: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=32843140

Thanks again for all the responses. This shit has become way longer and talked about than I ever imagined haha
 
awww fuck I was really hoping to see the face behind all this but you need to sign up and, well... fuck that shit



and dude, you ever just think that maybe she just said that about the phone because she wanted to talk to you? You know, like normal people who are attracted to each other do?
 
awww fuck I was really hoping to see the face behind all this but you need to sign up and, well... fuck that shit



and dude, you ever just think that maybe she just said that about the phone because she wanted to talk to you? You know, like normal people who are attracted to each other do?

You may be right about that.

Anyways, you shouldn't have to sign up. The profiles are avilable to view for everyone. I have no idea why it's not working. Try this link: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=32843140

Let me know if that worked. If not, I can post all 8 pics directly so you can all see them. it's no problem
 
Okay, no problem. I will transfer the contents here for everyone to see. I swear it should work. I think the problem might be on your end. ANyways, like I said, some of the about me section is juts me being silly and odd. And here's all 8 pics. Don't hate too hard guys haha and hopefully this all transfers properly and the images show

Reverend_korey : Lookin for black hoez

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Interests

Mental Health

mental illness

Depression

anxiety

occult

spirituality

religion

zazen

Zen


MEDITATION

New Ageism





About Me
Greetings Earthling!

Good evening and how do you do? My given name is Korey, however you may refer to me as Reverend Korey.

Would you like to become one with science and mathematics and the rising of the sun?

Message me for further details.
 
Korey, I think one of your main problems is your conviction that people won't be interested in you/will find you weird because some of your interests or habits differ from the norm, and this is not only holding you back from being yourself, but also translating itself into a frustration which as we saw, leads to nothing good. I think if you realized people really aren't that judgmental and opened yourself up to show who you actually are, things are likely to go much better. And it's not as if you need to have everything in common to form relationships either, sometimes it works perfectly well when you can make your partner discover new things etc.
 
I don't understand. You're living life on your own terms, yet you're not happy. I gather this from you saying you're not eccentric. Why aren't you happy?
 
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