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Methamphetamine Discussion Thread 2.0

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been clean for 15 months now but looking to score a game off my good friend tomorrow! can almost feel that IV rush already :0
 
So much meth hate, interesting that abusers are often the ones who hate it the most ( or say they do).

I've found it easy to stop doing meth or only use once every few months even after periods of nearly daily regular use, I'm a regular opiate user so maybe that helped. However people close to me who have problems controlling their usage often say it's evil and a bad drug etc etc.
I believe this is contradictory to HR and also stops the user from taking responsibility for their usage, as it is the "evil drug" that is responsible.

We are not powerless unless we believe ourselves to be, much respect to those trying to give up damaging habits and total abstinence may be required for most people, but I've known ex ice heads who lost their shit on the drug coming back to it years later and being able to use responsibly.
Learning self control, will power, loving yourself and addressing the reasons for your problematic use are better than any 12 step abstinence program.
 
oldirtybizza said:
So much meth hate, interesting that abusers are often the ones who hate it the most ( or say they do).

I've found it easy to stop doing meth or only use once every few months even after periods of nearly daily regular use, I'm a regular opiate user so maybe that helped. However people close to me who have problems controlling their usage often say it's evil and a bad drug etc etc.
I believe this is contradictory to HR and also stops the user from taking responsibility for their usage, as it is the "evil drug" that is responsible.\
Click to expand...

I suppose there's a happy medium. I think it is easy to give up on personal responsibility - the idea that 'addicts' are slaves or are powerless to the drug is pretty pervasive, and it can be an attractive mantra to adopt because it means you can absolve yourself of any guilt you feel about not putting in the hard yards to address your situation. At the same time though, I think the warnings are apt. Methamphetamine can intwin itself with your most basic instincts so insideously and grab you in a way that is utterly impossible to prepare for, so I can understand the 'evil' or 'bad' reference, although it may not be the best way to describe it.
 
Hi all,

I really want to WANT to quit if that makes sense. I get nothing from it anymore, it's ruining my life yet i still can't get my fucked up brain to realise this. I cannot imagine my life without shard, it's so incredibly fucked up if you all knew my situation. I'm currently staying with my mum because I've been reported to dhs yet again for apparently being drug affected around my son, not taking him to kinder, etc etc. they got me to sign a voluntary agreement whereby my mum is now to have custody of my son for the next 4 weeks while they monitor me. My mum's making me stay with her too so she can keep tabs on me but you know...us addicts are so good at acting and she hasn't realised yet that instead of trying to better myself I'm just secretly blazing up in the bathroom every day. Wtf is wrong with me!? I love my boy so much but i can't fkn get rid of this habit. It's in my head 24/7 all i think about is getting on and if i can't get on for some reason or another, i have to sedate myself so i can sleep the night away and try again tomorrow. I feel so secure just having gear on me, just knowing it's there for when the urge strikes. I don't smash it all just for the sake of it being there, I'd rather pace myself and feel at peace knowing it'll last me the next few days. I'm such a junga. It's pathetic. And really shameful, especially when being a mummy doesn't seem to be enough motivation :( right this second I'm in bed with my little cherub fast asleep snuggling up to me. But that itch to sneak off to the bathroom won't go away. It's a nasty disgusting habit. Don't get me wrong, i can do a couple months clean at a time if i have the right mix of supports and willpower - i can usually do about 3 breaks from using a year which can vary from a few weeks to a couple months but coz I have bipolar and bpd i get manic and impulsive episodes and bam back at square one again. When I'm managing my mental health i do good, i do parent duty at kinder, i do clean uds' for dhs, i hand in uni assignments. Of course i crave every day and still wanna get on but I'm able to fight it better. I just cannot stop relapsing. And when i relapse, i relapse hard. Anyways, sorry about this rambling fried post but i just had to vent. You can all hate on me for putting my habit first or whatever I'm used to it, i hate myself for it too.
 
^ indeed. i thoroughly enjoyed reading that last night.

i loved the candid honesty from the author and admission of how naive he was toward this particular substances intense level of psychological addiction, both before and after the experience.

...kytnism...:|
 
Warning: read if you can be bothered!
Thanks for your replies and thanks mork for the advice. I've done detox & rehab numerous times and while it did help in the short term, I've just never been able to stay clean for any decent period. Got rid of fb, changed my number, etc but when I get desperate i always find a way. When things are seemingly good and stable for a while the mood swings inevitably happen, something will trigger me while I'm not in a good state of mind and off I'll go again, it's bye bye to all my hard work. But my son IS my absolute everything and i hate myself for being so weak and irresponsible always going back to it - "this time will be different", "I'll manage it better" blah blah. Clearly not going to happen. The reason i even started using was to get me up and going and to block out how i was feeling and it seemed to work at first...i was actually getting shit done and had more energy to play with my son instead of moping around the house being all depressed/anxiety/fatigued. But yeah, it quickly became more than just a means to get myself moving...now it's a full blown obsession. Particularly the whole ritual of smoking (the twirling, the big clouds), cleaning the glass until it's immaculate, the need to have some on me at all times etc. and i prefer to use by myself not socially - i hate sharing my glass and watching the way some others smoke it, because no one is as gentle or does it "properly" like me: it's my way or none. It's seriously so sick and twisted and wrong.
But anyways, now I'm foolishly back in the midst of another using cycle, not managing too great (again) and it's resulted in this situation of temporarily losing custody of my child. It's freaked me out enough to realise that i need to try even harder to quit FOR GOOD otherwise i am going to lose my son. Logical right? If only my brain worked logically all the time. I don't even know why i keep going back to it when it doesn't even get me "high". Most times I'll just get over-stimulated, on edge/anxious and end up wigging out over nothing. And I'm so dumb thinking i can keep it up and be able to hide it and not raise any suspicion. My son's kinder called up my mum a few weeks ago saying they were concerned because he was missing quite a bit and the times that i had brought him i had looked really bad (think: sunnies on inside, avoiding chit chat, weird rambling answers when approached by the teachers). Really bad. And of course when i try to stop using/have a break, i crash and come down so horribly that I'll either get back on or sedate myself hardcore and need to sleep and recover for ages. I'm so ashamed and scared of others knowing the truth I try to manage/recover on my own meanwhile somehow taking care of my child. Sometimes i just cannot get myself up to take him to kinder or to his activities and it's another "mummy's not feeling well let's have a lazy day" routine involving sticking him in front of the tv and handing him my phone to play with while i crash, only getting up when i really have to e.g., to get him food. THAT is wrong. It's at that point i will vow to myself that I'll never let this happen again, using is shit it has no benefits whatsoever, it's never going to be "manageable", my son is suffering because of it and people are noticing, and having child protection involved for a third time is just so disgraceful, i must quit. I need to get over this horrible obsession. It should be easy considering... But it's so hard! :( I'm dreading coming off this bender, stressing over how long it's going to take to feel ok again, how I'm going to cope emotionally, etc. I suppose I'll be going through a lot of benzos and seroquel for a while. I'm not even sure when my last clean day was, how bad is that. I've got about half a g left on me and ordinarily I'd go pick up more tomorrow but.... Must focus on what's important!!! Now I'm going to read the above article for more inspiration! Apologies for killing the buzz on here lol. Much love to you all xo
 
Yeah i have bipolar and bpd, not to mention terrible anxiety & panic attack episodes. Been on meds (anti depressants, anti psychotics, mood stabilisers, benzos) for years and my psych is constantly readjusting the dosages. I honestly just feel doomed by my mental health.
 
oldirtybizza said:
So much meth hate, interesting that abusers are often the ones who hate it the most ( or say they do).

I've found it easy to stop doing meth or only use once every few months even after periods of nearly daily regular use, I'm a regular opiate user so maybe that helped. However people close to me who have problems controlling their usage often say it's evil and a bad drug etc etc.
I believe this is contradictory to HR and also stops the user from taking responsibility for their usage, as it is the "evil drug" that is responsible.

We are not powerless unless we believe ourselves to be, much respect to those trying to give up damaging habits and total abstinence may be required for most people, but I've known ex ice heads who lost their shit on the drug coming back to it years later and being able to use responsibly.
Learning self control, will power, loving yourself and addressing the reasons for your problematic use are better than any 12 step abstinence program.
Click to expand...

Excellent post odb!! Know your drugs - know yourself - make good choices. And don't hate yourself if you fuck up - that just makes it harder to get back on track.
 
when you do things right, people wont be sure you've done anything at all ;)

time for me to get some sleep finally !

peace.
 
poledriver said:
Good luck Hollyanna, I hope you can get your shit together and stay clean for your son.

Here is an interesting article that was posted in 'drugs in the media'. -

Life as a crystal meth addict




http://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/news/society/2014/08/02/life-crystal-meth-addict/1406901600#

It's worth a read.
Click to expand...

wow that was a very interesting and sad read, Poledriver.

@ Hollyanna, most addicts fall off the wagon whilst trying to quit, you must forgive yourself and move forward, If you beat yourself up too much you will fall back off the wagon.

I wish you and your son all the best for the future
 
that was a wicked article dude.!

But I just like to point out that not all heavy meth users slip into psychosis yo :)

With proper regular food intake and never go over the 5-6day limit I've never had a problem with it.

Or maybe i've been in one this whole time and not know it ha :p
 
Never again. Meth just sucks a donkeys dick. It's a shit drug with no real purpose other than to make one an agro dickhead.
 
That article linked above is sensationalist crap, written by a self-destructive fool who is lucky to be alive.

Can we please have some harm reduction here? Safer meth use is possible - but not if we all sit around swapping horror stories...
 
lovepsychadelics said:
Never again. Meth just sucks a donkeys dick. It's a shit drug with no real purpose other than to make one an agro dickhead.
Click to expand...

You are more than entitled to this opinion, however, this is the second post in the last two pages of this thread where you have felt the need to post the same opinion, I don't see the point in that.

If you do not enjoy methamphetamine that is fair enough, but perhaps if that is the case it would make more sense not to open the methamphetamine discussion thread, rather than repeatedly making posts in it regurgitating your negative opinion of meth.
 
Well I had a total meltdown and lost it yesterday and confessed to my mum & sister that I was back on it. Today I wrapped my glassy (still nicely packed with awesome gear!) in a tea towel and my sister and I took turns stomping on it. Then I watched her as she opened up the baggy and emptied the contents into the bin. Arghh what have I done!!! I must admit I had mixed feelings about it - feeling proud/relieved but also freaking out and in shock that I did it...slightly regretting it. Oh who am I kidding, I'm totally regretting it I want some right now! But I'm really gonna try. I'll never say never but I'll just keep trying each day. Have deleted all my numbers too. This is so hard and overwhelming!!! Don't really know what to do with myself. Day 1 clean!
 
Congratulations Hollyanna - I think you've made the right move.

Here's an idea: use the money you would have used to buy more gear to go and buy a new toy for your son. Then bask in the good feeling you get watching him play with it.
 
A while back I said I'd do up a guide to smoking methamphetamine efficiently and easily. I'm high tonight and I just stopped a friend from burning their shard so I'm feeling righteous towards the cause.

Anyway, first you'll need a few things:

Sweet-puff (either the bowl to the side or straight variety is fine)
Shards
Tea towel or similar non furry/spongey cloth, dampened
Bic lighters (grab a few)

If you don't have a sweet puff then get one, they're convenient, make the vamping process easier and aren't that expensive. You do not have the excuse of not knowing where to get one, where there is shard, there are sweet puffs. Light bulbs are fine but the nuisance and feel to it makes it a deal breaker for me and I won't smoke if I don't have a pipe now. If you must use a bulb I'd suggest the small break light bulbs sold in service stations etc. These are similar in size to the sweet puffs bowl and are made the same as a regular sized bulb pipe.

Anyway, first off there's a few basic things I explain to people so that instead of just doing the actions as shown they understand why they're doing what they are.

When you are vaping meth, you are ideally bringing the chemical to a heating point that allows the meth HCL to be converted into a vapour form. As the glass loses heat, the meth re-crystallizes and the meth ceases turning into vapour. The main issue I see is people overheating the glass, in turn bringing the meth to a heat level too high for the chemical to remain as meth. Have you ever dropped a rock in and when you're heating it up it crackles and bubbles? That's overheating. Not only are you wasting an expensive drug, you're now inhaling a new chemical altogether. I cannot remember what it becomes but I remember reading on here years ago that is a lot worse than meth vapour. I have little grasp on chemistry so if i've incorrectly used any terms feel free to correct me.

Ok, that aside,

Step 1: Slightly dampen the tea towel, I like to have a bottle of water to re-dampen as it dries.

Step 2: Scoop and place roughly 1/5 (20mg) of a point into your sweet puff. Ensure that you have pre - crushed your point so that there are no abnormally large rocks. It doesn't have to be crushed too fine just no noticeable rocks is preferable.

Step 3: Without placing your mouth on the pipe, hold it sideways so that you can see into the bowl section where your shards are. Gently tap the side of the bowl to spread the shards into a flat even layer.

Now before we get onto step 4 and blast some rocks, your goal is to 'melt' the shard into a liquid puddle. We want to then swivel the pipe around in a swirling circular motion to evenly spread the puddle around the bowl. To prevent the shard from re-crystallizing we need to keep it at that correct heat so we will need to keep the bowl hot but obviously not too hot. Sounds like a lot to keep up and there is little room for error but once you use this technique of swirling you'll be fine. Lighter technique takes the most practice.

Step 4: Ok, swivel/swirl method explained. Time to learn how to properly 'start' the bowl. You'll want to start that lighter up and ideally keep tip of the flame hovering between 1.5cm - 2.5cm below the glass. 2.5cm is recommended when learning as it will take longer to heat so more leeway when it comes to burning it. When you are comfortable you will be moving the flame in between 1.5 - 2.5 dependent on heat required. Now, with pipe still sideways begin heating the glass next to your shard, making sure you aren't melting it yet. Begin to 'wisp' the flame to the position of the shard until you see it begin to melt. Put your lips to the pipe and begin slowly (not too slow!) Inhaling the vapours created from the puddle. As soon as you have a nice puddle it's time to start swirling. Slowly begin a 'rotation' with the lighter heating around the bowl in the same direction you will be swirling the puddle. Basically we want to keep the lighter one step ahead of the puddle, which will allow the puddle to remain a liquid but will cool as the lighter moves. Eventually you'll have coated a ring around the bowl which has now been prepared. You will get an alright hit on the first puff but it is really just setting up the rest of the session.

Step 5: Once you have spread the ring around the bowl OR if you ran out of breath you'll wanna cool the pipe fast so that it re-crystallizes and we don't let any vapour get away. Eventually you can time it so that when you run out breath at the same time the pipe cools letting no vapour escape, but for now when you feel yourself running out of breath bring the damp tea towel to the pipe whilst you're still inhaling. Do not stop swirling whilst you cool the pipe. You should cool the pipe after every puff if you want to conserve as much as possible.

Step 6: Bowl is prepped, time to smoke. Choose a starting point of melting your spread out gear. Begin lighting underneath your chosen spot until vapour begins forming. As soon as you see the bowl fill with smoke take your lighter off and dab the lighter to the spot when the vapour starts to die down to keep it at optimal heat. You may find thicker spots of the puddle in areas that will turn to liquid and run again, just re swirl until it is thinned and covering maximum surface area. Once you're nearly out of breath cool the pipe and hold in your hit for a minimum 10 seconds. Assuming you heated it correctly and got a good hit, the less vapour you exhale, the less you've wasted. That vapour needs to absorb and you pay premium so why not let it?

Continue step 6 until you have smoked all around the bowl and there you have it, you just got 50-100 lung fulls from a point instead of 5.

Few things to remember: The amount you put into the pipe is crucial. Smaller increments means less swirling to spread the puddle and in return less waste. Cooling the pipe around 2 seconds before you run out of breath will prevent any loss of vapour and remember a clean pipe is a good pipe.

To advanced users, I know the method above isn't the absolute most effecient but it is very close to and about fifty times easier than the 'heat and chase' method. One step at a time guys.

Anything I'm missing someone chime in. I'm done for now. Happy toking.
 
^Nice post, I can't believe how some folks are so careless with their gear, letting it steam away into the atmosphere might be ok in the states where it's a fraction of the cost but at the premium prices here it's just incredibly wasteful.
The only thing I could add is that using the term "smoke" is incorrect as there is no combustion, it's vapour.
 
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