/\ HAHA! Tell me about it. Its just too hard when your younger to really expect that your life would one day be ruined by it. At least for me it was. It was all fun & games in the begining but then one day it becomes a major life priority to get high.
I still think you think way too much Jake. Seriously. Its very odd that I use to have these thoughts when I was in prison. I use to sit around all day thinking about my purpose in life, whether I should just end it all, what the point of everything was. And you learn VERY quickly at least in prison, that those thoughts WILL break you which is what happened to me.
I would wake up so many days devising different ways to kill myself, I realized it was because I was ALWAYS thinking. It depleted my well being so much I didn't know how to relate to people anymore. And THATS what wound up creating a change in myself. Because I was always thinking other people had it better, or like other people were just born knowing what their purpose was, I would display a lot of signs of mental weakness.
That led to me getting the shit kicked out of me 3 times (one fight was debatable). Right after the last fight, I realized a blood was actually plotting to stab me ( I thank the co's for finding the shank in the guys bed who I had gotten into it with -after that I was isolated to pc and transfered 3 hours to a south jersey prison). And I think it was because I was so negative I made other people feel weak, and they hated me for it. One day I think I officially "broke", I'd stare at the walls and a single thought wouldn't pass through my head.
It was largely me dissassociating from thought, because thought was responsible for so much pain in my life. And I just got sick of it all. You can do this shit everyday for the rest of your life and not really suffer physical harm like I did, but the toll it will take on your mind will trump any pain you can think of.
STOP THINKING.
If you can NOT stop thinking, then you have an addiction to learning and don't realize it. Take your brains focus from your OWN LIFE, and put it into something more constructive. Some people are just born NEEDING to always be taking in information from the world.
Feeling lost is just a sign that your mind is in a weakened state for whatever reason. When your strong you really don't give a shit if your lost, OR if you ever really find something. You really just don't care or think about it. How are your thoughts right now creating happiness in your life? If their not, I suggest you start thinking differently. Get psychocybernetics from Maxwell Maltz or Frogs to Princes from Richard Bandler. These are classic books that explain very clearly how different thoughts affect your well being, and they give you a crapload of insight into life and how to be happy. I'll admit they helped me A TON myself to start thinking better because now I don't really ponder of give a shit about life questions that really serves no purpose but to make you miserable.
Consider some of what I said and see if you can get one of those books. NLP (neurolinguistic programming) is a field of pseudo psychology that can help you A LOT if you get into it. I know you said something about Buddhism before and I agree Buddhism can help, but I really think a mind like yours could benefit a lot from NLP and other similar fields of study.