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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Looking for "the answer" - MERGED

You can do it.... I believe you can do it....We want YOU to believe you can do it...stop hurting yourself no one deserves to be treated so carelessly...
 
Have you considered residential treatment or MMT? I know both are pretty serious endeavors. One of the reasons I kept on relapsing was depression and a really negative mental state. I would stay clean for a month and then relapse and between the relapses I was miserable pretty much and not doing anything positive with my life. So I decided enough of this. I need something more drastic. I went to a rehab for a month and got on MMT. Maybe the MMT might not be the best option for some but for me as a chronic pain patient it was a good decision. Ever since I left the rehab I've been full of energy, happy, full of hope, helpful and I keep getting better every day. I'm back in school working on a doctorate degree. My Methadone dose is very low and when I'm done with my pregnancy I will go down even more but for now I am thankful for each day I have because each day is so great that I could live like this forever. I got to a point where I was willing to do anything to get better and I don't mean just stop doing drugs, my biggest problem was that I was depressed and miserable with my life. So I tried whatever was left to try, rehab, MMT and NA. And that combo has helped me the most. I wish I would have tried this stuff earlier, but I guess I wasn't ready. Each day is a gift. My relationship with my family and my husband has gotten a million tons better. I feel like I did before I got depressed a few years back. I suggest you try anything that might help you. Don't say no to anything that has helped people recover. Try anything that you haven't before and you are bound to find something that works for you.

I once read a quote that I feel is true "Insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results". Obviously, what you have tried so far hasn't worked for you. It would be pretty silly to keep trying what you have tried and hoping for different results because you probably will not get different results. Suboxone hasn't exactly worked for you. You probably need a more structured environment. Just keep on trying with things that you haven't tried yet. Don't give up because anyone can get better and anyone can stay clean.
 
Looking for "the answer"

Great advice. Chances are ya can't go wrong listening to the positive thoughts..even if they happen to be someone other then you. I was always a follower ...I am right aside of the positive ....
 
I will find my way myself , with help of N.a. and God , i refuse to kill myself with Heroin
 
sucks , getting a paycheck and stuck because my boy has the best D around and its easy to get . but other thing is i have sub dr. monday i could use it for , just to get a dr. note to take subs when i go overseas in a month, but i cant afford to keep paying for subs every month so i may have to go off them , but im not sure if i even need the dr. note or can just bring them in their bottle from pharmacy and ill be ok ? so im buggin
 
I know what it is to be buggin...I have tripped myself into dopesick before my last FOUR bags are gone...yeah I often bugged out I remember all too well. I suggest you get a plan...I know it is hard to plan shit when you are heroins hostage....I was held for 3 years against my will so I fully understand, it is an undeniable sense of fear that you can not seem to shake. I wish you luck. I really do. I am sure you feel very insecure with the fact you do not have insurance because the other stress ball hanging over your head is money...I too know how that feels, it makes the whole thing that much more fucked up. But try to hold out for as long as you can, I know it isn,t easy but try.
 
But can i take my Subs to france without a doctors note ? thats what i dont know .
and is 45 subs enough ot wean off of over months?
 
I don't know why you couldn't take then with I dont think they would go threw your meds. I went to arizona and I had my meds with me they were not detected (they are scripted to me) but they didnt look at that stuff. I mean after all it's not a QP of weed or anything. But to answer the 45 sub thing you have to do it slow. I am sure there is a taper schedule you can find here and if not I am willing to tell you hoe I did it. How much are you taking a day? That is what I need to know to give you my imput.Stay strong man, it's a struggle but do not give up..please
 
hey man i took 6 mg then 4 mg then 2 mg today but i havent been away from dope long so i dont feel so hot ...............
 
jake99 said:
hey man i took 6 mg then 4 mg then 2 mg today but i havent been away from dope long so i dont feel so hot ...............
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Personally I think that is too quick is that all in one day? When do you leave for France? How many subs are you working with? Is it 45 6mg tab? Or are you going to be trying to leave with that many? How much dope were you doing a day whether it be in Herion form or oxys what was your daily maintenance? Let me give ya a quick rundown on how I did it..now this is from 60 mg point at meth clinic. I then went to my reg doc and he was a specialist for addiction,and my hero, lol , from there I went on to 8mg 2x a day i was fine no illness to be had. But I did stay on that for a while and there were allot of days that I only took it once a day.Just like anything else the less you have flowing thru your system the better it is in the long run. Now when they detoxed me last year from a short pill relapse they did it fast 3 days 4 mg 2x and don't ya know that a week after my last sub I had 2 nights of kickin and not being able to sit for a long time on count of the leg bullshit. But man do it once and you won't ever have to feel it again. I am really praying you get this sooner rather then later, it is all about you man. Anything worth it in life is a little harder then most of us care to work, but the rewards are far greater then the effort you put forth when it is over and you can move forward...;)
 
basically for at least a year i have been on subs or dope almost every day , except few rare days when i couldnt get them................i usually am on subs more days than dope because its cheaper.........when i get dope i usually can do about a bundle a day (10 bags) sniffed.......so i haev a decent tolerance . As far as subs i used to be fine with 2 mg a day but not its a little harder . like today i took the 2 mg in morning and still wasnt good at all , so took another 1 mg in afternoon and was little better............but like i said i have had way too many relapses. when i recently stayed on subs for 3 weeks i started feeling better, got down to about 1.5 mg and then relapsed with dope again for 3 days and was sick all over.............
i have 45 8 mg Subs.............SO i figure i can stay at each dose a month or so and then drop maybe .5 mg every month all way down to .25 (if i can even measure it )
 
Who feels lost in this world ?

just wondering , i feel as if i am the only one who feels like a lost soul in the world. always scared and alone, even when you are with others.............looking at other people thinking " how do they have such great lives and im such a screwup ?
i suffer with depression , anxiety /ocd , addiction etc...................................
29 and have no career , cant even keep a crappy job
smoke cigs and dont eat healthy
family life is messed up
i am ALWAYS in fear of whats gonna happen in the future. i WORRY all day long
 
Everyone feels like that just remember things do get better and everything is wahat you make out of it hope you figure things out and if you need to let anything out dont hold back
 
jake99 said:
basically for at least a year i have been on subs or dope almost every day , except few rare days when i couldnt get them................i usually am on subs more days than dope because its cheaper.........when i get dope i usually can do about a bundle a day (10 bags) sniffed.......so i haev a decent tolerance . As far as subs i used to be fine with 2 mg a day but not its a little harder . like today i took the 2 mg in morning and still wasnt good at all , so took another 1 mg in afternoon and was little better............but like i said i have had way too many relapses. when i recently stayed on subs for 3 weeks i started feeling better, got down to about 1.5 mg and then relapsed with dope again for 3 days and was sick all over.............
i have 45 8 mg Subs.............SO i figure i can stay at each dose a month or so and then drop maybe .5 mg every month all way down to .25 (if i can even measure it )
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Oh O.K. so I guess you already know that with each attempt at detox it gets harder. So try to stick on the highest dose you can until you feel your craving isn't as strong ya know the thrill of the chase is a huge part of the whole game so bad habits are hard to break but I am bettin on you...you seem to be on the right track and i think you feel the strain it ain't no fun anymore :\
 
i am always full of fear about so many things. feels as though life cant get better and im a failure
 
no it aint no fun . i love dope but one is too many and a thousand is never enough
 
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