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If You are Thinking about Suicide, Please Read This

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I hear your voice, Fjones. But i dont understand why are you hate the world around you. Its absolutely on you, to hate or love the world. You can love an ugly girl, but you can hate a beautiful girl also. But you can also hate them both, its all on you. If you are not satisfied by your place around you, just move to a new city, or even better to move to a new country, or a new continent. I wish i could say here, move to an another planet, but you can't.

So, all in all, if you see the place is shit around you, its better to move, or try to accept, that God gave you this life, to live there, and do what you are doing in your every days. If you dont get any sense of why God wants you to do things like that, just dont pay attention, no one ever understood God.

If you don't belive God, its better to start belive in something. If you wanna belive the life after death (reincarnation), just do it. But i would say here, if you kill yourself to start to live an another life, what is the guarantee that you wont do the exactly same things you did before. Because you will be your next reincarnation also, and you wont remember your last life, so every conclusions and experiences you got now, you will not bring to your new life. The possibility that the same things will happen to you is almost 100%.

Learn to handle your life, and handle your feelings. Maybe this the most important purpose of your life. Can you do it?

Nah. About the purpose of the life of ppl they got the risk. They are heros in the common sense, they are stand against the fire where you wanna run away, they are stand in the line of a bullet, that would kill you, but they will get killed. It is not a purpose of life, but a heroic way of living. But it doesnt matter, they will die anyway. I'm not sure, but i have a hard feeling about, that they just got their job, because nothing else they found interesting in their life. It's a poor thing, but we call them heros. Umm.. weird.

How old are you , Fjones?
 
Why is my age important? (just curious, not mad). I hate the world around me because the world is never going to be the way I like, and I cannot do anything to change that.

I don't believe in god. I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in reincarnation.
 
Fjones said:
I hate life. I hate the world and almost everyone in it. I don't see the fucking point. I didn't ask for this shit.
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i understand this
not cos i feel like this now but cos i used to feel like this wen i was using - i guess i had drug-induced depression

now im not saying u hav drug-induced depression, fjones
although if ur using any drugs heavily, id suggest u tone down on ur use of them esp uppers and downers

but i will say that again, read my earlier posts (im doing better with paragraphs now ;)) on CBT
u may benefit from this

wat hav u got to lose? u dont believe in suicide but u dont want to b miserable anymore - u dont hav to b
 
This is good advice. I don't use much these days, though not for lack of desire. I cannot use what I do not have.

I want therapy but I missed my last two appointments and my doctor said I cannot come abck until I pay the missed appointment fee. This is reasonable, but I do not have the money. I cannot even afford to see my therapist. He wants to help me but I have missed so many appointments. I think I frustrate him very much.

Although, is CBT something I do on my own without a therapist? It stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy right?

(I greatly appreciate the paragraphs :) Thank you. )
 
yep CBT is cognitive behavioural therapy
others hav found EMDR (hit up dave or junctional funkie for info) or psychotherapy....even hypnotherapy....more helpful
its all about personal preference

as CBT is something that a therapist only really guides u along on, it is absolutely possible u can work on it by urself
go to a library and get out a book with guidelines on how to help urself using these techniques, or there may even b something on the web
gd luck :)
 
Why is my age important? (just curious, not mad).
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I'm just wondering how old you are, so can you move or not, will you or not. So, are you a kid, or more like a mid-age adult, or just older than that. That makes difference, in what should you do in your case. I wont say to pick up your packs and move to anywhere else, but its just an option you have to count on. I'm not sure what is the thing you hate so much in your place, but if you stay there may lead to be getting more and even more anger in your head, that is makes you mad, you may want to avoid that. For at least, while you wont feel better, may be a good idea to move to your cousin or to a place you feel yourself better. Not to mention, the peace in your mind is the most important key to start a course of self-healing. I agree to drug wench, to give a try in self guidance, but it could be better, to not make it all alone, but even better to talk about your thoughts to anyone else, who is close to you. At the moment, you first realize that someone loves you, will give you a new and great feeling you may forget in your past. Thats what i suggest.

and I cannot do anything to change that.
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CBT is definitely a thing you can do. But more will come, soon. There is always a thing you can do, thats what i'm repedately talking about here, in this thread.
 
Fjones said:
Why is my age important? (just curious, not mad). I hate the world around me because the world is never going to be the way I like, and I cannot do anything to change that.

I don't believe in god. I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in reincarnation.
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Can you believe in <3LIFE<3 ?

I think age is important because it's an easy way to label people. Plus, in nature, age is one of the tools social groups of animals use to arrange themselves hierarchically.
 
Fjones, man, you can change your life dude. It's easy.

What you cant change is irrelevant shit like the way others drive ( ;) ) and how others act.

But if your happy with you, other bullshit like that won't even bother you.

Anywho, I know what you'll say to this, but i'm still going to say it. :D
 
Heard a line the other day

"There's so many things you can't do when you're dead"

Obviously true .. But any/all words regarding suicide are essentially meaningless.
If the decision to end one's life is rational, than it was the result of an equation (simple or complex) where the result = not living > living.
If irrational, than all words ring hollow, as only a rational person can be talked back into their senses.

I'm fortunate; my family has a history of suicide, and I'm much like Fjones in that I've suffered from unchecked hatred since adolescence, but despite my constant thoughts of death for 12 years, I usually don't feel absolutely compelled to off myself. But when my manic fits swing the wrong way, there's absolutely no reasoning with me; only my emaciated state & all-consuming apathy keep me from pushing the trigger PSI to irreversable levels.
 
Ampére said:
I'm just wondering how old you are, so can you move or not, will you or not. So, are you a kid, or more like a mid-age adult, or just older than that. That makes difference, in what should you do in your case. I wont say to pick up your packs and move to anywhere else, but its just an option you have to count on. I'm not sure what is the thing you hate so much in your place, but if you stay there may lead to be getting more and even more anger in your head, that is makes you mad, you may want to avoid that. For at least, while you wont feel better, may be a good idea to move to your cousin or to a place you feel yourself better. Not to mention, the peace in your mind is the most important key to start a course of self-healing. I agree to drug wench, to give a try in self guidance, but it could be better, to not make it all alone, but even better to talk about your thoughts to anyone else, who is close to you. At the moment, you first realize that someone loves you, will give you a new and great feeling you may forget in your past. Thats what i suggest.



CBT is definitely a thing you can do. But more will come, soon. There is always a thing you can do, thats what i'm repedately talking about here, in this thread.
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I still don't see the relevance, but I posted it in ther age thread in the lounge so I guess there is no reason not to post it here. I "celebrate" the 32nd anniversary of my birth in exactly one week.
 
well ud better let us know the day fjones so we can make u a happy bday thread! ;)
whether ur into celebrating bdays or not, ur a regular member of our forum and we always like to acknowledge bdays wen we know about them!
 
Suicide has been coming into my mind pretty frequently in the past week.

I've only really thought about it a few times in the past, and although I don't think I would ever act on it, because I do believe from past experience that things will get better (and then maybe get worse again in six months, who knows)... it disturbs me that this thought keeps popping up in my head. :(
 
mia, as u will probly know, as u decrease ur current use of meth (if that is wat ur still doing) u will start to experience some withdrawal symptoms
one of these is depression, often to the point of suicidal ideation
esp if u already hav a history of depression or depression-related disorders like anorexia

evry time that thought pops into ur mind remember the ppl whod b upset (thats a minor word for it) if u topped urself
i certainly wud b, along with many others here
a lot of us r really fond of u

if the thoughts get dangerous, as in u feel u might actually do it, go to an ER immediately
if theyre just intrusive but u know u wudnt act on them, remember to keep inspired by reading the OP of this thread

and i know u go to a therapist/counsellor (cant remember which) - id advise u to tell him/her about these thoughts
remember to stress (if im right) u wudnt act on them or u might end up getting a visit to the psych ward however!
 
^That's my worrry. I feel like if I express that they're in my head everyone will just freak out and put me on suicide watch or something.

But thanks for the kind words <3 if they do escalate I will have to mention it to someone. I really just can't see myself acting on them, I miss the good parts of my life too much to do so. I've just never been depressed in this way, and felt this alone in my life before.
 
^it will most likely b related to the withdrawals, just remember that
i know it feels irrational and freaky but there is a biological reason behind it

if u want any extra information regarding wat to expect/the reasons why u feel like this/anything else regarding meth withdrawal/even just someone to talk to, i wud never feel bothered by u if u wanted to PM me and ask questions/rant....in fact id luv to talk to u!

im glad u acknowledge the gd parts of ur life - keep reminding urself of them wen ur down

i know this is a little off-track but thats partly why tapering rather than going CT from meth is less efficient - cos it prolongs the withdrawal symptoms, even if they r a little less severe instead
drug-related depression, unfortunately, esp in amphetamine/cocaine users, is extremely common, and makes up a gd percentage of the population of those who do commit suicide
 
Might be a good idea to have info for Canadians and Australians as well.

Kids help phone is 1-800-668-6868 -they made me memorize it in therapy years ago. Though it's supposedly for "youth", youth being anyone under the age of 21, I'm sure they won't discriminate based on age

Suicide/Crisis Hotlines and Contacts in:

Ontario- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=86

BC- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=78

Quebec- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=88

Nova Scotia- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=85

Alberta- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=79

PEI- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=87

Manitoba- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=81

Saskatchewan- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=80

New Brunswick- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=82

Newfoundland & Labrador- http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=83
 
thanks for those, valium

best i can find in NZ is:
LIFELINE (nationwide) - 0800 543 354
KIDSLINE (up to 14yrs) - 0800 543 754
YOUTHLINE (up to 18yrs) - 0800 376 633

these deal with counselling in general but will cover suicide issues and take them very seriously
 
Fjones said:
This is good advice. I don't use much these days, though not for lack of desire. I cannot use what I do not have.

I want therapy but I missed my last two appointments and my doctor said I cannot come abck until I pay the missed appointment fee. This is reasonable, but I do not have the money. I cannot even afford to see my therapist. He wants to help me but I have missed so many appointments. I think I frustrate him very much.

Although, is CBT something I do on my own without a therapist? It stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy right?

(I greatly appreciate the paragraphs :) Thank you. )
Click to expand...

There is an online cbt course. It's called moodgym. I can't say it helped me at all, but I didn't stick with it either.

http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
 
I, like others here, want to die. I've been this way for a long time. Not a day goes by without thinking about it. I've tried 5 times, with the first few being half assed cries for help. I know it sounds stupid, but killing yourself is harder than you'd think. Even when you are absolutely sure you don't want to live another day, you have these survival instincts.

I'm 27, and I haven't done anything significant in my life. I can't hold a job, got no friends, no prospects at all. I'm just an embarrasment. I doubt I'll ever be able to do it, I don't have enough motivation to do anything anymore. I've been wearing the same clothes for over a month. I've got garbage piled up everywhere. Drugs don't even give me a glimmer of happiness anymore, just a little while of numb escape. Maybe if I quit drugs I could pull my shit together enough to work a shitty job the rest of my life. I haven't enjoyed the first 27 years of my life, and it's only going to get worse. My mother tries to guilt me, telling me how sad she'd be if I suicided. But I can't just live to keep other people from sadness.

I did the psych thing for a year, got diagnosed bipolar. Tried a bunch of meds. The SSRI's made me have crazy manic episodes. The mood stabilizers made me tired and feel like shit. Wellbutrin was the only one that had any real positive effect, but I developed a tolerance or something. It would work for a week or 2 after they'd upped my dose, but i was up to the maximum in a couple months.

I tend to bounce from drug to drug. I recently ended a big alcohol bender, reckless use for the past 2 months. I realize my life might improve if I could quit using everything, but I just get so desperate to escape the shame, that it's either get high or suicide.

I'm not really sure why I just wrote all that. I doubt it'll help anyone else, and I don't think there's anything anyone could say to help me.

I really wish I was man enough to just end it.

ryno
 
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