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How High Are You? V. Dude Where's My Bar?

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Tripping so hard all day long its been a blast really cartoony sorta vibe such a fun day at work. Has 1,200mgs of Tianeptine as my Opioid choice today but I cant really feel it from the 5mgs of DOC being as power as it is. What a wonderful drug, it's my favorite psychedelic for this reason. Wanna have some freaky times with my Wife when I get home, this is an amazing sex drug hope I can catch a little tail. That will make this trip something epic.
 
Black seed oil... thinking about phenibut or gabapentin. I am experiencing a resurgence of mild opiate withdrawal, day 11... sick of it. I'm a little nervous tthat this may actually be withdrawal from gabapentin, or even etizolam, but it's very unlikely to be etizolam because although I have taken it most nights to sleep out of the last 11, I have also taken days off in the middle of that. Last night I could barely sleep, didn't take etizolam though. I'm just ready for this to be over. I really hope it's residual opiate stuff, I was doing poppy tea so it would make sense it would last this long. It's certainly a lot better but it was also better than this a few days ago. Then again I took gabapentin, so... hard to say.

I'd take some loperamide, but it wrecks my stomach and esophagus, dries it out so and I get severe pains all down my esophagus and in my gut, for days. It really sucks.

I should stop drinking

Yeah... me too. I have greatly reduced to once a week or less but fuck, I got drunk last night and regret it now. So bad for you.

Just had some more kratom in OJ.

For the, what, fourth day in a row?

This shit is getting old. I can't wait to hit the stash.

Be careful, it produces withdrawals, don't take it too many days in a row.
 
Did you find the Sulfate to be easy on the stomach I may pick up some of that eventually to test out also?
I never had any trouble with tianeptine sulphate although I don't have major stomach issues, and obviously also I'm using lower doses. Fortunately, if anything I find tianeptine to be somewhat settling on the stomach, presumably due to the standard opiate digestive slowing. I did find Phenibut HCl to start causing some stomach irritation, inflammation, bloating, that sort of thing, which FAA doesn't for me, which is kind of surprising given FAA presumably should become HCl pretty quickly in the stomach and the extra acidity should be minor enough, I would think, that HCl would not cause major issues either, but I do see reports of stomach problems with the HCl pretty often.

Actually Phenibut in general is rarely the same as it once was for me now, I'm not sure why, maybe just burnt out the receptor pathways that Phenibut acts on, which I understand are not, in fact, from direct GABA activity which is often assumed but moreso to do with voltage gating in some channel or other, can't remember the specifics, someone please remind me if you can.


I'm trying to not hit my vape. I keep thinking about it, but yesterday I realized I just feel way worse every time I use nicotine than I did before.
Yeah man, I identify with this, nicotine is another substance I seem to have burnt my good times with, pretty often nowadays I don't feel good after vaping except perhaps those first few hits after a prolonged abstinence... still keep going back to it occasionally though. Took up vaping for 2 days at a time twice in the last few weeks looking for something I didn't find but quickly just chucked my vape liquids and resolved to try to stop doing a drug that's really addictive and I hardly even enjoy most of the time... I've literally taken up and quit nicotine probably hundreds of times by now, the feeling is almost pretty blase by now, although for sure the days after a heavy vape indulgence are pretty grimy.


On topic - bit unsettled recently, definitely overdoing something. Today:
250mg armodafinil
100mg esmodafinil
150mg Phenylpiracetam + 250mg Choline
3mg etizolam over the course of the day.

Etizolam is feeling a lot nicer again without combining with piracetam. I do think piracetam was the culprit in my previous few disappointing escapades. Racetams don't seem to combine well with benzos - phenylpiracetam, seemingly, being something of an exception. I guess it makes sense given they are somewhat functionally opposite in action, piracetam potentiates alcohol for sure and makes it more lucid and also more messy, but benzos I think are just too selective such that the fun parts are cancelled out and there's not much left except sedation.

Tried to abstain from caffeine the last few days but relented today with a coffee and 200mg caffeine tablet a few hours later. Couldn't handle it.

Oh, also smoked 2 cigarettes today.... urghurghurgh, gross. Back in the lockbox I think.

Got some kratom coming soon so gonna take a long break from benzos after that, I'm sure I'm still in relatively safe territory but this is an unusually long stretch of indulgence for me... looking for something I'm not finding for sure. Probably way overdue for a good strong psychedelic trip to clean my brain out.
 
Couple puffs of weed
4g kratom
300mg pregab

so not high (perspective) but able to go back into the "real" world inna bit to do money stuff. Hope a MF don't try me today....
 
Actually Phenibut in general is rarely the same as it once was for me now, I'm not sure why, maybe just burnt out the receptor pathways that Phenibut acts on, which I understand are not, in fact, from direct GABA activity which is often assumed but moreso to do with voltage gating in some channel or other, can't remember the specifics, someone please remind me if you can.

Phenibut is both a voltage-dependent calcium channel blocker, like gabapentin, as well as a direct GABA-B agonist.

Man I am really anxious today. I've been iboga microdosing for 11 days now and it was keeping my mood really good, but today that is not the case. I am really struggling to not take gabapentin or phenibut, I am concerned I've caught dependence again because of past dependence and an every 2-3 day thing it lately.
 
Black seed oil... thinking about phenibut or gabapentin. I am experiencing a resurgence of mild opiate withdrawal, day 11... sick of it. I'm a little nervous tthat this may actually be withdrawal from gabapentin, or even etizolam, but it's very unlikely to be etizolam because although I have taken it most nights to sleep out of the last 11, I have also taken days off in the middle of that. Last night I could barely sleep, didn't take etizolam though. I'm just ready for this to be over. I really hope it's residual opiate stuff, I was doing poppy tea so it would make sense it would last this long. It's certainly a lot better but it was also better than this a few days ago. Then again I took gabapentin, so... hard to say.

I'd take some loperamide, but it wrecks my stomach and esophagus, dries it out so and I get severe pains all down my esophagus and in my gut, for days. It really sucks.



Yeah... me too. I have greatly reduced to once a week or less but fuck, I got drunk last night and regret it now. So bad for you.



Be careful, it produces withdrawals, don't take it too many days in a row.

Hey,

sorry to hear that you are still not feeling well.
It will happen.
Just give it some time.
I know it seems never ending and you are tired. Exhausted,

Just take it easy today.
watch some comedies to help you laugh.
Laughter is the Best Medicine.

It could be the gabapentin.
gabapentin gives me horrific withdrawal,
so does clonazepam.

Be careful.
I hope you feel better soon.
❤️😘🌹
 
Phenibut is both a voltage-dependent calcium channel blocker, like gabapentin, as well as a direct GABA-B agonist.

Man I am really anxious today. I've been iboga microdosing for 11 days now and it was keeping my mood really good, but today that is not the case. I am really struggling to not take gabapentin or phenibut, I am concerned I've caught dependence again because of past dependence and an every 2-3 day thing it lately.

It's probably just a combination of all of the above. Your body is just used to the suppressant effects of all those different substances and with prior issues your gonna experience some rebound especially only 11 days clean from long acting opiates. When I come off of an opiate run now my sleeping and discomfort levels will cycle in waves for weeks after the acute withdrawal.

As I age and my mind has become habituated to a wide variety of substances I find that the rebound or negative after effects of most drugs are much more pronounced.

I actually just placed an order for 120g of phenibut and just reading this has given me pause and a great sense of precaution in proceeding. I had been able to cut my dope habit out several months ago and my life has improved exponentially but I made the mistake of dosing 35-50mg of methadone every Friday for 3 weeks in a row and I can even feel what I call the bends or that negative shift in perception that happens around the 4-5th day when most of the methadone would have cleared and my body begins to anticipate more. I am definely cutting out that habit. I just have to be cautious not to let the phenibut get me. I've been semi dependent before after periodic binges but I have a long history of mostly controlled use with phenibut lasting 5 or so years. I will admit that I have never had large tubs of phenibut sitting around my house before but the town I just moved from had a headshop a few blocks from my house that stayed open till midnight and sold phenibut capsules. I'm actually excited about my phenibut order and it's immenent birthday weekend arrival.

Wishing us both the best my brother. Addiction is a sneaky an insidious foe who loves to back door it's way into life when I let down my guard so best to remain aware and on my toes.
 
Phenibut is both a voltage-dependent calcium channel blocker, like gabapentin, as well as a direct GABA-B agonist.

Man I am really anxious today. I've been iboga microdosing for 11 days now and it was keeping my mood really good, but today that is not the case. I am really struggling to not take gabapentin or phenibut, I am concerned I've caught dependence again because of past dependence and an every 2-3 day thing it lately.
Aha, thanks, well I've burnt out some calcium channels and GABA-B stuff perhaps. Benzos still seem to work but that seems a darker road, for sure. Sorry to hear of your anxiety - have been pretty off myself of recent - and self medicating with benzos, lol. Been doing too much damn modafinil too, but... I need it to be able to be an economically functional member of society right now it appears. Hoping to break this GABA-cycle with some kratom and good old weed very soon, never been the most frequent weedsmoker but it does keep me off the harder stuff...

What type of psychedelics you into. To clear out the cobwebs.
Am I alllowed to say all of them? :p LSD or some kind of tryptamine would probably be my go-tos, although I find the latter a bit better for cobweb clearing, so to speak, but I also find them a bit scarier. I'm a bit wary of all psychedelics really even though they're my favourite drugs. I also do find them to be a pretty big commitment and I always seem to be stressed out recently about work shit or something. Might just take an impromptu week off to get some good tripping in soon...



Today - +1mg more etizolam and 1 more cigarette. Bleugh, literally don't know why I keep on smoking these damn cigarettes, benzo disinhibition and minor nicotine withdrawals from my brief vape escapade a few days ago I guess.

Actually cut out at 50mg line of cocaine jjust recently. Feel a bit better now. Debating doing another. It is Monday evening but after today I'm gonna be visiting family and shit and not doing any hard drugs. I guess a line here and there can't hurt...
 
200 mg of tramadol.
1 mg of clonazepam.

Feeling nice and cozy. I'm also feeling excited cause I'm finally going home on Thursday, although appearantly it's going to be stormy over there on that day so hopefully the flight doesn't get delayed or anything...at the same time I'm kinda sad though. I'm gonna miss the beach and being able to buy tramadol, gabapentinoids and even a bunch of non-intoxicating pharmaceuticals that I've grown to like otc. And of course I'm gonna miss my family that lives here even if they can be a bunch of assholes sometimes...(Or maybe I'm the asshole? Nah...or at the very least we both are. 🤣) So I guess I'll just have to try and relish these last few moments as best as I can.
 
Made the mistake of time locking my cigarettes that I've been bitching about all day before getting out the cocaine. Should have put the cocaine in there too in retrospect, but predictably broke open the box shortly after and smoked a fairly expensive cigarette since I guess I'm gonna get another of these time lock things now. I think I'm at 5 or 6 etizolam today... maybe about 200mg cocaine now. OK, detox from tomorrow. Got no more etiz and might be smart to hold off getting any more for a while. I did get a fair bit of shit done though workwise, cocaine is a damn good focus enhancer. Maybe would be smarter to look into a more basic amphetamine in future though, toxic, expensive, pointless shit that cocaine is. Good night everyone!
 
Just took 1,330mgs of FAA Phenibut Sublingually and I'm sitting back with it under my tongue and waiting for the relief to sweep over me. Last dosed on Friday so I gave it 3 days in between which is less than I wanted. Have been physically dependent in the past and it was a real bitch to come off would never start taking it daily again. But being cooped up in the house like this gets pretty boring and in hoping I can catch some good sleep whenever it is I decide to take it down. I believe that 3 days is enough room to avoid dependence but a week would truly be more ideal.

I can relate to what your saying about it losing magic the first time I took some again after a years hiatus I felt very intoxicated from one gram in a similar fashion to that of a benzodiazepine but since that day when I took it again it was quite a but milder. But still very relaxing and enjoyable none the less. Been dealing with some heartburn the last couple days so I'm thinking of doing a bit of an experiment and spitting it out after leaving it under my tongue for 30mins as a means of minimizing the possible irritation to my esophagus/stomach.

Thinking that by raising the dose a bit it will allow enough to still get in my body, hoping to have some success with this experiment. Had to stop taking the HCL completely last year after running into problems with it causing severe heartburn. But as some of you may understand I love what the drug has to offer and choose to come back for more. Dont see why this wouldn't work...
 
Y'know, that reminds me, I have read before that phenibut is actually insufflatable and active in that way at far lower doses than the typical oral route... not sure if it was concerning FAA or HCl though, thinking about it... usually does need to be a salt I think for mucosal absorption... man, I can't believe anyone could bring themselves to snort the HCl, if that's what actually happened... sounds like the worst... maybe plugging could work if you're into that though? Not too interested in that road myself just yet but would be very interested if anyone tried it.

But, yeah, something's changed in my brain I think it used to be stimulating, motivating, pro-social, now it's alright, but, the expectation is often better than the reality, I almost just take it habitually sometimes I think. Weirdly, sometimes it is still stimulating but it's actually a kind of anxious restless stimulation like I would never expect from it... or maybe the novelty has just worn off. I did actually used to much prefer phenibut to any benzo for stimulant comedowns or even just general recreation but that seems to have reversed now which is maybe a bit of shame since phenibut is surely the more benign of the 2, except for the huge doses needed and seemingly common stomach issues.

LOL, didn't end up sleeping, did a little more cocaine and took a few valium to take the edge off... valium right now seems a bit more effective than etiz in countering my solo coke anxiety... bout 300mg of the white stuff this time I think... surely will go to sleep soon but gotta stay awake at least an hour or so just to tell the guys at my work I'm not coming in and just in case there's some shit I need to deal with... made some good plans I think though, I do seem to make a lot of good plans on drugs... some of them anyway.
 
Morning blue world

.5mg alzam
Few bong hits upon waking

Later I scored some H and booze.

Feeling good but paranoid at the same time but that's brought on by the corona virus..

Anyhow, feeling good and happy except for the fear I'm feeling..
 
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