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Great quotes while out - part IV - "Was that out loud??"

Sitting on a foamy thing in the icelounge of Family in Brisbane talking to some friends, leaning against some random strangers back (who was on the opposite side of the foam seat thing), I completely zoned out of the conversation, then zoned back in to hear them mentioning Wendal Sailor.

Ignoring the fact that they were talking quietly, I scream out "Wendal Sailor is such a fuckin' knob, but damn, he does have one sexy body - I'd probably fuck him"

2 seconds later I get a tap on the shoulder, turn around and realise the person who's back I was leaning against was none other than Wendal Sailor's, he smiled as said "wanna fuck?"

My friends were literally crying they were laughing so hard.
 
Apart from the fact that I spelled it wrong, Wendell Sailor is a footballer... Queensland Reds, Super 12's.... he's also well known for having quite a tempter and suffering from bouts of road rage.

wendell_sailor.jpg
 
KELLE!

Great taste in men, chicken! He's hot as guts!

Umm, I don't think I have any quotes that immediately spring to mind...my friend Laura had an experience similar to that though...she was in some nightclub in Vegas while she was in the US, and she saw Brad Pitt on the dancefloor. Anyways, she thought it was really strange because he wasn't surrounded by bodyguards etc...so she tells her American cousin, "guess what, I saw Brad Pitt"

Of course, her cousin doesn't believe her, and the rest of the night whenever she was on her own she saw him again, but he was nowhere in sight whenever the cousin was around.

Eventually at like 4.30 or something, her cousin sees some dude who looks like a dead ringer for Brad Pitt. But it's not him. So Laura's cousin points out this guy on the other side of the dancefloor, and he's all like "that's not Brad Pitt you moron!"

Laura by this point was really frustrated with the whole thing, spins on her heel, and at the top of her lungs shouts "I know that's not Brad Pitt!"

Then a pause, and to the person standing an inch away from her nose having a chuckle, who clearly is Brad Pitt, she says "That's Brad Pitt."

And then she left the club and went home cause she was so mortified about looking like such a starfucker. Funny story though :D

--Raz--
 
when i was getting driven home from a club one night i said "man, i should really slow down, i don't wanna get pulled over by the cops"
My mate who was driving said "dude, your not even driving, your sitting in the back seat"
 
hahaha oh god

Friend: *clutching a bottle of Green fanta* "IS THIS POISON..?!" *gulps down* "NO ITS FUN JUICE, ITS LIQUID PLUR?!~!@"

Me:I'm not in sync..
Friend: I know you're not in NSYNC for gods sake!
Me: NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND.. I'M NOT IN SYNC!
Friend: FOR FUCKS SAKE GRACEY I KNOW YOU'RE NOT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!

Me: *pointing at a speaker* ITS A.. ITS A.. ITS A SPEAKER!!! *screams*

Me: I'm looping.. I'm on acid.. I'm looping.. I'm on acid.. I'm looping.. HEY WAIT I'M NOT LOOPING ANYMORE!

Friend: We're on a ship!
Me: No we're not..
Friend: Yes we are, look there's somebody going overboard..

hahahaha

Me: I've always wanted to stab someone in the face with a brick that has plur written on it.

Friend: can't you just imagine professional plur.. its a fluffy purple unicorn in a business suit, whipping out his packet of b&h, and saying 'Gotta be Professional'
 
Hardicus may have already said this but i cbf checking :)

At my 16th birthday party hardicus, my mate and I dropped half a bickie each. Hardicus and my mate were standing right next to the speakers when my mate tapped hardicus and shouted "I THINK I'LL HAVE THE OTHER HALF....." only to stop mid sentance as he realised the music had just stopped as he began shouting and my parents where in the kitchen and clearly would have heard him. Thinking quickly he finishes the sentance "OF MY MEAT PRODUCTS" and quickly walks out.

of my meat products! wtf! hahaha what a pissa

peace
 
Daimo said:
"About 4 years ago I .............. no.......... wait................ it was last week!"
Click to expand...

Ahh good old steve wright... at least you put quotation marks round it, the amount of ppl who put it under there signatures without any referencing makes me sick. I think one particular ruski and bunny cartoon comes close to plagarism 8)
 
Not sure if this really counts, but at schoolies, we are all sitting in the hotel room, smoking a few cones, then we start commenting on how my mate's eyes are really squinty, so i burst out laughing and coined his new nickname of "SQUINT EASTWOOD", this had a snowball effect and another mate, who twitches when he is stoned got the name of "TWITCHIE BENAUD",
 
We went out drinking last night at the uni with some of my uni mates.

Anyway I got asked by these Uni guys what I study at uni and I told them a degree in Pharmacuticals.

haha yeah I study pharmacuticals I study pills and gas just about every weekend.

Would you believe that they actually believed that bullshit story?!
 
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"I DRIVE A YELLOW PIECE OF CHEESE"

as yelled by Mirage out of the car window whil high on V ;)
 
my friend and i are a part of the self proclaimed "chopper squad"

fiona is in the corner a very chopped little puppy and turns and shows me a text message she has sent to a friend ' This is detective princess superstar from the chopper squad I think im gonna get my gun out and arrest myself for being so chopped'

needless to say she nearly wet her pants cause she thought she was sooooo funny

i think the best part is reading the fucked text messages ( such as the above) the next day when you have to clear your inbox
 
^^^^ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So true!!!
One of the best things about a REALLY big night is the text messages the next day, both sent and recieved.
 
Continuing the police theme we have the sentence police. They patrol the recoveries looking for people to sturggle with their words. Every so often they get a big bust for an inappropiate use of adverbs. But you have to be careful what you say because often there are undercover agents trying to trick you up.

But my favourite. We were watching Rage the other weekend when the Delta Goodram comes on and suddenly a fellow BLer yells out,"Fucking crack whore." Not something too easy to handle when your a little under the weather.
 
ive heard some great ones in my day... let me try and remember....

Hmmm... said by me whilst making sentences on a fridge using fridge magnets with words on them, whilst on acid..."hehe, this is so much more fun than it actually is"
A morning after a big night out where we all took acid had some good ones... "Do you think if you urinated whilst floating in zero gravity, youd propel backwards?"

(said to sock on his hand) "hey.... dont make those eyes at me!!! ohh... i cant stay mad at you!" (hugs sock on his hand)

"Subway sandwich artists should not truely be considered 'artists' until they wear sock puppets on their hands, and make them talk while they are making the sandwich"

"Imagine being a puddle at your OWN feet!"
 
Of Meat Products..


fucking hilarious whoever that was (i cant be bothered scrolling back to the other page and quoting correctly)
 
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