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๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ Social ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ Gibberings ver. CCXIX - "what's new, c*nty chops?"

Bought royal jelly (it's what the Queen Bee eats ) and it tastes and looks absolutely vile.
 
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Bleaney said:
How frustrating it is trying to walk that line between having enough benzos and alcohol to be able to relax and function socially, and without having too much so that it takes the edge right off my pool playing so that I play absolutely shit.

It's at times like this that I envy people that can do the social thing easily and without anxiety.

Less benzos and alcohol and I play well, but the social side is difficult. More benzos and alcohol and the social side feels a lot easier but I play pool like a donkey.

Not sure what I can do to resolve this one.

W/e though it's a step up all round. A few years ago I'd never have had the confidence to even be trying to do this in the first place.
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I had to quit benzo use (no more diaz) a few years ago because it was a progressive dependency rather than me using them when needed and I didn't like it

Anxiety is a strange beast; I was not very socially anxious over past few years but past few months I have noted much stronger social anxiety than had been normal. It seems to get worse if I spend a week working indoors and gets better if I go out each evening

For pool playing; weed and booze is my PED - especially very sativa dominant strains. Indica make my body too stoned to be sharp
 
Jackal said:
I had to quit benzo use (no more diaz) a few years ago because it was a progressive dependency rather than me using them when needed and I didn't like it

Anxiety is a strange beast; I was not very socially anxious over past few years but past few months I have noted much stronger social anxiety than had beewnormal. It seems to get worse if I spend a week working indoors and gets better if I go out each evening

For pool playing; weed and booze is my PED - especially very sativa dominant strains. Indica make my body too stoned to be sharp
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Fuck me you just reminded me I'm on day 3 no benzo AKA grand mal seizure day, thankfully in my drawer, might even work.

Progressive one also for sure, borked my tolerance with the powder. was off a few years though.

Errr.... cheers!!
 
Tranced said:
Fuck me you just reminded me I'm on day 3 no benzo AKA grand mal seizure day, thankfully in my drawer, might even work.

Progressive one also for sure, borked my tolerance with the powder. was off a few years though.

Errr.... cheers!!
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Hope youโ€™re ok! Stay safe!
 
axe battler said:
Yeah it's a tightrope. Though I used to find I'd play pool better if I was pissed. Not completely trolleyed, but certainly refreshed. This is without benzos though.
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Yes indeed. I guess pool is just one example where the trade off feels quite obvious. It's likely that similar trade offs are going on for certain people like myself whenever benzos or alcohol are used, in that they can noticeably reduce levels of performance.

I think getting the dose exactly right can help though. My habit of crushing benzos down and weighing the crushed powder out to the nearest mg can help. Even then though there's many variables as to how a similar dose can effect you differently on difefrent days.

Benzos definitely also reduce motivation. These are a few of the negative things about benzo use that I don't like. For example they have stopped my attempts at guitar playing pretty much stone dead. I just can't be arsed basically. However during my 4 months of furlough, when I was benzo free (and also had all the spare time in the world this is true) but I really got into it, and made more progress in that 4 months than I had for many years. It wasn't just the free time. It was the being off benzos too. I enjoyed it more, found it more rewarding, and had more patience, persistence, and motivation.

Zero benzos does not feel like an option at this stage. It feels like any performance gains would be offset by the increase in anxiety and the negative effects that can have on performance too. Bit of a shitter really.
 
Tranced said:
Why aren't you ex-staff?
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i didn't want to be associated with them anymore. i'll PM you now.

sorry for the late reply i've been in uzbekistan. a country you should not lose your passport in, so guess what i fucking did. was mint though.

anyway i came on to say that i have been watching junior bakeoff like a weirdo and these fucking kids in their showstoppers, are achieving more in 2 hours than i have in my entire life.

omfg we need a new fucking forum right fucking now BL is truly dead. i shoulda stayed in the gibberings thread.
 
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Tranced said:
Yeah


I'm absolutely fine, thanks. Don't worry about me. At least I dont have clonaz on my mind rn. You too btw, thanks! x
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To clarify I necked 4 clonaz. I'll be at 1-2mg within the next week or so and runn out. Thats the issue part. The order Ill get
 
I've always been kinda obsessed with the sticky hands technique & when you master it anyone trained in Western Boxing or anything that isn't a South Chinese style will have a real issue getting a punch on you as the person will "broadcast" their intent by moving the arm or leg back BEFORE they strike, with sticky hands you learn to feel them out & can see the limb going back hence why most South styles attack from a square on facing stance & the limb is pushed forward & has no need to move back before swinging forward.
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
Just having a light breakfast and feeling a bit melancholic so when digested a bit am gonna go for a cheeky modafinil and opium "speedball" haha to brighten and smooth the day
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I'd leave out the Modafinil if I had opium. Too big a chance that it could interfere (in a bad way) with the buzz.
 
Bleaney said:
I'd leave out the Modafinil if I had opium. Too big a chance that it could interfere (in a bad way) with the buzz.
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Agreed in principle but I find it a surprisingly lovely combo...having said that I know both 'batches' I have of both substances intimately and find that 70mg of this modaf combined with 200mg of the opium latex gives me pretty much a perfect day when I'm feeling kinda emotionally exhausted just like today......productive, lighthearted, painless, smooth, etc...obvs


Zopiclone bandit said:
Ye Gods
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Before you even replied I was visualising you throwing your hands in the air shouting exasperated defamatory anti modafinil motifs :)

I've used almost every stim in the book for over 35 years and I actually like modafinil on occasion, shoot me now. It makes me laugh when people dismiss it as nothing - mebbe I'm hypersensitive to it cos most people take 200mg and proclaim it light...but I'm good on 70mg and energised for 12 hours...no jitters etc...not particularly high like say a point of high quality meth in a bubble would you get me...but definitely nice and the combo with the particularly fine opium I have access to is sweet af

It doesn't make me binge either, unlike any other stim in the world. I'm a fan!

Next week's speedball - a small coffee and 2mg diazepam (I am in no way advising anyone to be that reckless, I'm just a lost cause)
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
Before you even replied I was visualising you throwing your hands in the air shouting exasperated defamatory anti modafinil motifs
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giphy-downsized-large.gif
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
It doesn't make me binge either, unlike any other stim in the world.
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Amen to that my Brother.
I'm not a huge fan of stims but when I found a few I really liked I went insane on them sadly.

If I had access to unlimited amounts of MDA I'd be dead by now without a question.
MDA is a Gift directly from God I swear, I still laugh about someone who used to post on here but he left shouting about Fish in the carpet swimming around & the dog turning Purple.
 
I'm so anal about my monthly modafinil dose I weigh the 200mg pills into thirds, so just dosed 70mg moda and 220mg opium

The opium quality is fucking awesome. I'm blessed with a source who flatly refuses to give me more than half a gram a month...they make amazing quaality cannabis oils too and allsorts of potions which they distribute extremely cheaply to people in genuine need (free in many cases to old people on benefits etc)...they're all about the healing and not the ยฃยฃยฃ and won't sell bulk of anything (they refuse to supply the dealers etc, again it's all about community medicine to them.

Legends!
 
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