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Day 1 (again) off oxy. Need support and advice.

C

cigrits

Greenlighter
Joined
May 4, 2015
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42
Hi everyone. I guess I'll start with a quick background. Been doing oxy for about 6 years now. Longest I've gone without was 30 days a couple years back, and I still didn't feel great after a month. Well I'm trying again. I went 16 days three months ago and relapsed because I could not deal with the anxiety and I had to work. I basically convinced myself that I couldn't go to work without any pills in my system. I need to be talkative and exciting, I have a teaching job. I can't feel like shit at this job.
i finally got two weeks off, and I know this is my last chance to quit unless I lose my job and lose my house. I also just got another job that will be starting in a few weeks.
I have been reading others posts about past experiences and how many days they've gone without using, and they're inspiring. The last few times I tried to quit I tried subutex and suboxone in low doses for a week or two and jumped off. This time I'm trying cold turkey in hopes that the withdrawals and mental fog and constant freak outs and anxiety and crying fits will not last as long.

i guess the reason I'm posting is because I'm trying to find other people in the same boat. I did take 5mg of Valium earlier which didn't seem to do much, but trying to stay away from subs this time.

I haven't been out of bed today. I'm sweating and cold under the covers in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, with horrible stomach cramps. My nose is running and I'm sneezing all over myself. I just want it to be over.

i really wish I never started again after that 30 days. Or the 16 days. Or the 3 days I went before. Or the 5 days. RuI don't have it in me to do this again. If I don't do it now I'll never get a chance to do this again. I have an awesome job and a semi helpful boyfriend. I just have shit for willpower. I've always been a weak person. If I think I can't do something, I am quick to give up. Hence all the last failed attempts.

Another issue... A close relative got me addicted to these. He is in the process of losing his house to foreclosure. He has no running water. No electricity no heat. Just a house until they take it from him, and a habit ten times worse than mine. His health is failing. He won't get help. I'm afraid that when he loses his house he will be on the street in the winter and I will have no choice but to take him in.

Please respond with what day you're on, how you quit and how you made it to work and functioned without freaking out? Any other medication ideas too besides the Valium, don't want to do this too often. I'm sorry my post is all over the place. My brain is garbage right now and I feel like death.
 
Hey cigrits, how you doing. Shity, I know. Ive been a user and abuser of oxycodone for nearly 20 years. I used to use less frequently when younger so didnt have issues with withdrawal, just would recklessly binge on it combined with anything and everything else. I stopped in my mid twenties for a few reasons and was clean for about 3&1/2 years. But then the demon returned and he was much angrier. I was up to 300-400 mg daily, sometimes more and would use many other opioids, benzos, Soma, Adderall, and cocaine. One day after a particularly intense night of use, I went into the bathroom and next thing I knew I was on the floor. I didnt OD, just must have nodded out (which I never did) and came about 3 inches from slamming my head into my tub.

Needless to say, it scared me. I was going on vacation in 2 days and decided it was time to stop. I CT for a week with only some loperamide at normal doses. It sucked but by day 6 I was functional and day 7 back to work. I completely understand the psychological aspects of using oxy for improved work functionality as for about a month after I quit, all I did was look at the clock waiting to go home. I could still do my job, but it felt like torture rather than a breeze. It slowly got better and I was clean for maybe a year and functioning highly at work again.

But my willpower is shit, too. I have twice returned to oxy use since then for prolonged perioids despite the havoc it caused. I also had a nice run with amphetamine in this period as well and still would use coke fairly regularly and use DXM and psychedelics when I could. I am about a month or two in of stopping again ( few slip ups, maybe 3 at most) but never will say it wont happen again. But I think I got it this time, fingers crossed.

So now that I rambled on about me, let me try and help you. My first recommendation is be honest/come clean to those closest to you if they dont know and will be supportive. If you have ignorant family members or friends in terms of addiction, just avoid them for now, but those you trust, tell all. They can be your biggest tool in this whole ordeal.

Secondly, if you have the time and means, go somewhere relatively far from where you live and work. Warm weather is always the best for wd in my book but it isnt truly needed. But getting away, preferably to a place you enjoy but have no connections, not only prevents temptation but allows you to relax a bit more and helps with self-reflection. I know this isnt always possible, so at least surround yourself with all your creature comforts if staying at home. You wont want to be running around looking for your favorite slippers while withdrawing, trust me.

Now for what can you use to ease the symptoms. You mentioned Valium. Valium and other benzos are helpful for sleeplessness, anxiety, and restless legs when kicking oxy. But use them as infrequently as you cab tolerate. They are equally addicting and quitting them can actually kill you, unlike opioids. You also mentioned Suboxone. I really cannot say enough about how useful it is. I currently am using it. I recommend a quick 5 to 10 day taper starting around 4 to 6 mgs and hopefully cutting about 0.5 to 1mg a day till you get to zero. I would keep a few handy after this just in case you ever get that urge, but try to keep to 2mg or less if you must.

Other comfort meds would include:

Benadryl or Hydroxyzine: Both sedating antihistamines to help that runny nose (the worst isnt it) and help with relaxation and sleep
Dextromethorphan: Helps a bit with cough that may arise and some find slightly higher (30-60mg) than recommended doses to help ease some withdrawal symptoms other than coughing.
Loperamide: For diarrhea. It too is and opioid, so is very useful in this regard. But only use it as directed, max 8mg in 24 hours. You will see reports of people using mega doses to ease withdrawal but it literally could kill you this way.
Gabapentin or Lyrica: Both wonderful at helping restlessness and anxiety of wd. Lyrica is better. Dont go too high with either of theses as taking large doses and stopping abruptly could lead to seizures.
Clonidine: Many tout it as extremely helpful with sleep, anxiety, and agitation while detoxing. Never used it but seems beneficial. Will lower your BP so dont take too much as this obviously is not a desirable thing unless you have hypertension.

OTC pain relievers like Aleve and Tylenol are obvious for the aches you will get. I also say get some guiafenesin tablets (Mucinex) and Afrin nasal spray to help those nasal symptoms.

Sleep as much as you can. Hard for many, but helps the days go by. Eat as healthy as you can, but really since this is hopefully a short term thing, eat what you like or is appealing. I had a terrible appetite for 4 days, eating maybe 2 full meals in that time and I am a fatboy. But you are going to need energy and food is needed for this. Some multivitamins and Fish Oil are good to use daily to help supplement what you may miss nutritionally.

Last but not least, try to exercise and get some fresh air and sun. Im not saying run a marathon. But a good 20 minute walk outside really is good for the body and mind. If you are up to it, exercise as much as you can as it produces that runners high feeling which is wonderfully rewarding, even if it is transient.

Good luck. You can do this. The hardest part isnt kicking, it is staying clean. For that there are many options, but cross that bridge after you beat this.
 
Hi OP! I'm actually on day 7 of a rapid buprenorphine taper. I'm not sure why you've decided to forgo the subs this time around, and it's probably just fine and will work, but I really think a rapid taper using buprenorphine is the gold standard for opiate detox.

I also like to use benzos to get some sleep and combat anxiety on the first few days (I like valium through the day for anxiolysis and xanax at night to knock me out). I also take plenty of diphenhydramine to combat the runny nose/sneezing and it also complements the other meds with the drowsiness it causes (helping you get to sleep on the first few rough nights). Lastly, I love me some cannabis, and I find that taking it orally during w/d REALLY helps.

Other meds that can help during w/d are clonidine, loperamide (but be careful with this one, many people megadose it and recently this has been linked to fatal heart arrhythmias), and GHB/GBL.

Like I said, I'm on day 7 and feel like a million bucks. I'm at 1mg buprenorphine. Tomorrow I'll be at 0.5mg. I'm sure I'm in for some discomfort when I jump off, but I've suffered so little this last week that any suffering I have coming will be taken in stride.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions, and keep posting here. The BL population is awesome with the support.
 
Hey man the truth is you are not going to feel better in 2 weeks after being addicted that long. Your recovery will be a long slow process that takes a ton of work on your part. Have you ever thought about suboxone maintenance?
 
Hi guys sorry haven't been on here since my first post. Today's day 3, and also my birthday. I got drunk last night, which I never usually do... A little hungover, peeing out my butt all day, still in bed. Managed to take a shower. My family is coming over later tonight to bring me birthday gifts and papa ginos. I could probably stuff down a slice. I'm not putting makeup on or changing out of pajamas, I'll just say I have a cold. Boyfriend is cleaning the house for me and going to the store. So grateful for him, he really is supportive. He quit with subs about 6 months ago and was back to normal in a month.

I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply to me. I didn't want to do subs this time because i guess I feel like it's just going to prolong the misery. And I don't like the feeling on them, I get all strung out and weird, and can't sleep at all on them.

I ate one 5mg Valium on day one, nothing yesterday, today woke up and took some loperamide and half a Valium. Still freezing and sweating and crapping everywhere, the anxiety isn't as bad as it was when I used subs to quit last time. Only using benzos as needed, I know they're super addictive and I don't plan on getting addicted to those. Hate the lazy detached feeling anyway.

i was thinking about getting a small amount of blow to get up and get things done, but I don't think that's going to help my brain repair itself either. I do have neurontin which I've never tried, Ativan, Valium, trazodone(haven't tried that either I heard it sucks). And some adderall but I don't want to be awake for two days either.

No no access to clonidine unfortunately. Toughing it out for now. Supposed to get a hurricane Monday. Pretty depressed right now. Hoping tomorrow is better. I'm holding back tears right now. Don't even know why. Guess I'll put on a funny movie or something to pass the time. I'll check back in later after my family leaves.
 
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The last paragraph you wrote... Thank you. I really needed to hear this right now.
 
Sorry I sick at this, didn't realize I could quote. I'm a noob. That was to kittycat5
 
Save the Ativan (lorazepam) and Valium (diazepam) for only when absolutely needed. The diazepam is going to be a bit more useful as it's longer acting, but the lorazepam should provide equal relief. A very safe and helpful way to use these drugs as comfort medication during detox is to dose twice a day for seven days. Once around the afternoon, once in the evening. Dosing once a day is also an option, or even less frequently as you have been. There is no reason to dose twice as day for seven days other than it will help you feel a little bit better, you just need to be careful not to use it longer than absolutely necessary (for your detox we're talking seven to nine days of acute withdrawal, and then probably a month or two of just feeling shitty as you've been using for so long).

Have you looked into Suboxone or Methadone maintenance or detox? Given your habit, getting stabilized on one of those medications would do wonders for getting your life in order, and then detoxing on your own terms with a good taper and the right comfort meds under a doc's care.

If you can get some Subutex/Suboxone, I would really highly recommend utilizing it. Taking it for like four days, beginning at where you're at now, at 2-4mg will make probably the most difference in how you feel. Even if you just take it one or two days it will make a noticeable difference. And in either of those scenarios you won't experience any withdrawal from the buprenorphine whatsoever. You'll still feel real shitty after you stop taking the buprenorphine, but that is just the oxycodone withdrawals continuing.

Definitely rely on your Neurontin (gabapentin). You should be taking it 2-4 times a day regularly. There is not reason not to take gabapentin unless if affects your negatively. I would recommend higher dosages, like well above 800mg, if possible. But even lower doses like 400mg should really help you out with stuff like RLS, anxiety, depression and to a degree insomnia. It won't make the withdrawal go away by any means, but it should help. And it's a pretty harmless drug all things considered (well, as long as you don't take large doses every day for months on end). Taking if every day for a few weeks shouldn't present any problems, and the benefit to cost ratio very high.

Trazodone may or may not be helpful. I find it useful to a kind of minor degree during acute withdrawal, in it can make me really tired at 150-300mg. But to be honest it never really make a huge difference during the first week of withdrawal, I just couldn't sleep short of large doses of benzos or barbs. I do however find trazodone very helpful in deal with insomnia after the acute withdrawal is over, especially during PAWS.

I HIGHLY recommend not using coke while you're detoxing, especially not during the first week or two (given your habit, more like two). Nothing is worse than the come down from coke in acute withdrawal from opioids. Well, maybe crashing from methamp with a hangover during acute withdrawal, but... yea. Avoid the coke for now. I'd also strongly suggest not using your Adderall (amphetamine) during withdrawal unless absolutely necessary. Really not fun to get spun while detoxing. Stimulants are best avoided while you give yourself time to heal.

Bottom line, unfortunely, is that it's time for you to pay the piper. You've been using for a long time, and you're not going to just feel all better in seven days. Likely the acute withdrawal will last up to nine days to two weeks. Even after that you'll still feel like shit frankly, or at least this would be my bet, again considering how long you've been using.

The best thing I can suggest is to do what you need to do to stabilize yourself as much as possible. That may be getting on Suboxone or Methadone maintenance (the six month extended detox program is probably the best given your circumstance). That may be getting more comfort meds that can really help like cannabis, Catapres (clonidine), Requip (ropinirole, for RLS) or Zofran (ondansetron, for nausea). That may be using Suboxone/Subutex (buprenorphine) once, twice or for a few days during acute withdrawal.

Finding healthy things to do that will also make you feel better, once acute withdrawal is over, like yoga, qigong, vipassana, going to the gym, hiking, or any other type of exercise (preferably outdoors) will help immensely. Keeping up a health diet is also key, during acute withdrawal as much as possible as well as following it. Make sure to keep hydrated, which is crucial during acute withdrawal when you're having diarrhea (if you're having diarrhea after taking Immodium (loperamide) you should increase your dose; increase the dose by 2mg every 40 minutes until you stop having diarrhea before the 40 minutes is up - generally a dose of up to 20-40mg is necessary during acute withdrawal for some, just to treat their diarrhea).

Try to be as real as you can be with yourself. Taking in your relative who has a really bad habit is almost certainly a horrible idea. Figure out what you're passionate about, or can be passionate about, and dive into that as much as possible. What you love, along with some hard work on your part, is what's going to get you through this.

Best of luck and good wishes <3

EDIT: Given how sever your withdrawal is/will be, you might want to look into DXM (dextromethorphan). I find that a first to second plateau dose (150-700mg) can relieve even some of the worst symptoms of withdrawal. I will never forget how I stumbled across it, when I was detoxing cold turkey with no comfort meds from a four year heavy heroin habit. I drank like 150mg worth, and an hour or two later I was feeling really good. Like super positive, I wasn't depressed anymore somehow. So of course I drank the other 150mg left, and the withdrawal symptoms subsided even further. I came to find that a dose of 300-700mg (for me) alleviated nearly all my symptoms except for insomnia. It was a life saver, I can't begin to say how much.

If you've ever tried a dissociation like ketamine or MXE and liked it, definitely try out DXM. Of course, if you have tried DXM before and didn't hate it, for sure give it a go. Just be sure to titrate your dose carefully (the DXM vault on erowid provides all the info you need, particularly the DXM FAQ). I believe like 2/3 of people who try DXM hate it, so if you don't like it no worries - you can still take it at sub-recreational doses and get some benefits (up to 150mg, unless you're particularly skinny or underweight).

And FYI Benedryl (diphenhydramine), although very useful during detox, can exacerbate and cause RLS, so make sure to take it in low dosages.

It's awesome you have someone (your boyfriend) to love and take care of you. Something not often mentioned is, if you're up for it, that orgasms can make withdrawal a lot better, if for a short period of time. Also, cuddling really can be nice, as long as you're not feeling all cold sweats and whatnot. In any case, like I said, having someone to help you through this is probably the most valuable tool you have ATM. Keep up the good work.

Again, best of luck!
 
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Well it's the end of day 3. My family is gone. All I can say is I just want to feel again. I'm so numb right now. I did only 2mg of Valium and drank half a bottle of Imodium. I'm considering doing a tiny bit of subutex tomorrow, but still not sure if it's going to set me back while my brain starts to repair itself. I might just suffer through and save it for when I have to function at work.

dxm, meaning cough syrup? How about herbal shit? I tried St. John's wort before and it made me really sick and anxious. I have some detox tea. Maybe I'll go make a cup of that right now. I hope I get some sleep tonight. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. Ugh.

Anyone have experience with Zoloft or anything when coming off of oxycodone? I really just can't deal with the mental shit. Anxiety and no motivation. I'll take the shits and sneeze attacks and cold and hot sweats any day over the constant mental anguish.

Almost on day four... Literally watching the clock. My hearts beating out of my chest right now. Shitty fucking birthday this was.
 
Day 4. Took a shower. Big surprise still feel like ass. I think I'm going to do a tiny crumb of my subutex so I can get something done today. I hope I don't regret this tomorrow. cigarettes dont even taste good anymore. I might go buy some nicotine gum if I feel better later on. Boooooooo
 
Okay. I have 11.2 months sober from opiates. I was hooked on morphine at the summer of my 16th birthday (so age fifteen) and I started the needle then as well. I am 32 now. So I used for a long time interspersed with brief spikes of sobriety here and there. I also abused alcohol, cocaine, and benzos. I have been to three rehabs, and detoxes and psych wards too many to count.

First off. Do not take in your relative. He will get you to use faster than you will get him to stop. Also he probably will not respect your desire to stay clean and continue to use around you. This will make it much harder.

Toothpaste dog pretty much nailed it, actually he didn't leave much out. I will be telling you a method that does not involve bupenorphine. I did the subutex and suboxone maintenance a few times, I have also done a rapid detox on them as well. I would suggest just white knuckling this withdrawal without it, however that is just my opinion, everyone is different and this may be a real boon to your recovery.

First off, you made it to day four without bupe. You are nearly over the hump for the worst aspects of acute withdrawal. The length of time and dosages you were on will indeed effect the severity and length of withdrawal. I would look forward to seeing a steady improvement in your physical symptoms after day 5 that will gradually get better every day. You are very far from out of the woods with the mental aspects, especially the sleep.

What I would do is take tyrosine, and theanine, 5htp, and magnessium to help get your brain chemistry balancing quicker. Theanine will help you relax more, tyrosine will help your clarity, 5htp will regulate your moods a little better magnessium will help your RLS. In addition to this, I would take 10mg of valium in the morning so that you can get the effects all day. Secondly I would take an ativan whenever your acute symptoms like anxiety ,depression, or helplessness spike. Take immodium and some type of fiber pill to slow down your GI tract a little.

Do not drink coffee or take stims of any kind. As toothpaste dog stated they will make you feel worse. If you need a hot beverage drink peppermint, or ginger tea which will help settle your stomach. Stay hydrated as well because you are probably experiencing intense diarrhea. I could barely eat for a week or so, I drank Ensures to get a little nutrition. If you get really dehydrated drink pedialyte...I know its for kids, but will hydrate you extremely well.

The detoxing is actually the easy part of the process. As kittycat said, getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the challenge. You have been using for a long time and thus have developed a dependence. This is what the detox is for. The addiction aspect of it is much trickier. You need to make some serious changes in your life if you want to stay sober. I would start with just pulling out a piece of paper and writing out a recovery plan. Are you going to go to AA or NA or some other group of people for group therapy? What are you going to do if you have a craving and are tempted? Are there numbers you can call when you are at risk of relapse? Do you have a therapist that will help you understand why you became addicted in the first place? Who can I not associate with anymore? Have I gotten all the numbers out of my phone, or changed phone numbers completely? Where should I stay away from? In another column write down your triggers. It will give you a better idea as to what to avoid. I cannot stress how important having a plan is in early recovery. If you have never had lasting sobriety I would highly suggest taking in an AA or NA meeting. I don't go very often but I know if I have a problem they understand because they are just like me and you.

Goodluck. You have almost made it. Get a psychiatrist. Mine prescribed me zoloft, xanax and temazepam because most of the problems I have that led me to use are all anxiety based. Basically a psychiatrist will help figure out what meds you need to get you functional. Be completely honest because you don't want to get wired up to benzos unless you really have an anxiety based disorder. Next see your GP. Get a full physical and blood work. Abusing opiates can be detrimental to the body sometimes. Also your GP might be able to suggest a psychiatrist for you that is in your network.

You got this, I am in your corner. I am totally spelling out your name on the sidelines with my pom poms.

Just remember: Change is good
 
Thanks manboychef. Today's day 8. A little bit of a hangover because I drank last night, didn't want to use the Valium 7 days straight and the anxiety was pretty bad. Definitely not out of the water but starting to see a slight improvement.

i don't want to go to NA meetings, I know and work with too many people that I could run into there. Remember, this is a secret.

i heard taurine is supposed to be good for wd's and had a red bull yesterday. Didn't make much of a difference. Drinking a rockstar right now but I'll only finish half of it.

Not going to a doctor, my blood work was fine when I went 6 months ago. Don't want this on my medical records.

Still sneezing. Still cold sweats. I just feel gross and have no motivation. Oh yeah and random crying fits. Those are pretty fun.

I am worried about going back to work on day 13. Really worried actually. My plan is to try not to use the Valium again until at least day 12, just because I'm already starting to rely on it. I feel like I'm going to end up getting addicted to these, I have like 30 of them and some Ativan and can get as many as I want for next to nothing from a friend.

I have been drinking some protein powder shit with like a thousand minerals and vitamins and amino acids. I'm not sure if it's helping or making the anxiety worse? Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Took the dog out two days ago t I can't get my ass moving at all, I'm surprised I even made it outside. Been inside ever since.

i really hope I feel better soon. I'm just so scared of going back to work. If I had a whole month off I know i could do it. Or even an extra week. I'm so nervous.

thank you for your kind words. I teared up at the last two sentences of your post. Even though you don't know my name so I'm Wondering what you're spelling haha &#55357;&#56860;
 
Day 2 for me. Honestly - I was down to my last . I was starting to think I could never take the first step and not take dope. I just wanted to die so I didn't have to deal with this shit no more. But we did it guy!! Congrats on your sobriety I hope it lasts for both of us
 
True that gotit4cheap.

To cigrits. If you really want to beat this addiction/dependence you need to get out of your comfort zone. Go to meetings. NA and AA are anonymous. Part of why it works is you don't talk about what happens in the rooms outside the rooms. You are no different from joe blow that works in an office building, or plain jane that works as a nurse, or Bill spill that works at the highschool as a teacher. You don't break anonymity. You need a recovery program in order to get better or you will keep finding yourself back to being messed up. If you are worried about your medical records go to a clinic. Yeah you pay out of pocket, but you can say that you don't want the tests on your medical record.

Your a teacher right? If you do not recover you won't be one for long because you will fall off the wagon.

I am sorry for sounding a little upset but you just aren't getting it. It doesn't matter how many times you detox, it doesn't matter if you get a few months or a year under your belt. If you aren't recovering and working some sort of program then chances are you will go back to using. 95% relapse rate on opiates within five years. I am saying this harshly because it is life and death. No job is worth your life, and no amount of saving face will protect you from an OD that sends you to the hospital and everyone finds out about it. Be careful.

Congrats on day eight. You may not want to continue using other drugs because that will eventually lead you back to your drug of choice. Your also at the point you should be winding down the benzos as well. Have you talked to a psychiatrist yet? Do that next if you can. If you are scared that your anonymity will be broken at meetings then ask your psych about group therapy. There are so many addicts out there, and doing a program will improve your chances of recovery immensely.

good luck, keep me posted.
 
manboychef said:
True that gotit4cheap.

Your a teacher right? If you do not recover you won't be one for long because you will fall off the wagon.
good luck, keep me posted.
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i hear you. I think I've got it this time. I was super depressed this morning and anxious. But I forced myself to put makeup on, go to the store and take the dog for a short (very short) walk. Feeling pretty good right now. Rocking out to some w.a.s.p.

ive got this. No meetings. I'm glad that I'm getting support on here. My boyfriend is also hugely supportive. I really think I got it this time. You guys have really been great. Even if you yell at me a little bit here and there to keep me in line ;)

Seriously, thank you. 5 more hours to day nine.
 
famous last words: I got this.

Just be careful and take care of yourself. If you ever need someone to vent to, or if you start having relapse mentality definitely hit me up.

goodluck
 
29 days off oxy for me. I managed to quit cold turkey. The worst for me was probably the anxiety, sleeplessness and RLS. I was able to do it with only taking benadryl to sleep. You just have to keep staying the course and know that it does slowly get better. I managed to regain some energy and motivation in the last couple weeks as well. I much like you cigrits falls victim to the "NEED" to be energetic and talkative and interesting, so the worst thing for me is the lethargy and depression of withdrawals. But you gotta be strong and get past them! It does get better and you can learn to find that rush of joy and excitement in sober life too

When the physical and psychological symptoms are done, I find I start to get the worst cravings and horrible mental obsessing. If that happens just be prepared to distract yourself. Don't feed into getting lost in fantasizing about it. It will make it worse. I would mentally obsess to the point that I would get physical symptoms of either using or withdrawing within minutes... now that's a mind fuck and it takes hours to undo.

Be strong and know that you have to do this. That life isn't sustainable for you if you don't. And in regards to that loved one of yours, I understand the dilemma. Be prepared to help him only if he's willing to help himself first; rehab detox whatever, and if you need to take him in there will be strict ground rules and it will be a sober house. You can't have him jeopardizing all you've worked for. Keep it going!! You don't want to be another year down the road saying "I wish I didn't stop after 10 days that last time"
 
whiplashWRX said:
29 days off oxy for me. I managed to quit cold turkey. The worst for me was probably the anxiety, sleeplessness and RLS. I was able to do it with only taking benadryl to sleep. You just have to keep staying the course and know that it does slowly get better. I managed to regain some energy and motivation in the last couple weeks as well. I much like you cigrits falls victim to the "NEED" to be energetic and talkative and interesting, so the worst thing for me is the lethargy and depression of withdrawals. But you gotta be strong and get past them! It does get better and you can learn to find that rush of joy and excitement in sober life too

When the physical and psychological symptoms are done, I find I start to get the worst cravings and horrible mental obsessing. If that happens just be prepared to distract yourself. Don't feed into getting lost in fantasizing about it. It will make it worse. I would mentally obsess to the point that I would get physical symptoms of either using or withdrawing within minutes... now that's a mind fuck and it takes hours to undo.

Be strong and know that you have to do this. That life isn't sustainable for you if you don't. And in regards to that loved one of yours, I understand the dilemma. Be prepared to help him only if he's willing to help himself first; rehab detox whatever, and if you need to take him in there will be strict ground rules and it will be a sober house. You can't have him jeopardizing all you've worked for. Keep it going!! You don't want to be another year down the road saying "I wish I didn't stop after 10 days that last time"
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29 days?! Congrats dude!! Keep it up, you are now who I look up to because you're two weeks ahead of me. Keep me up to date with how you are feeling. You haven't done anything besides Benadryl? Nothing??? WOW. you're a strong person.

I hear you. A couple years ago when I made it to almost a month all I could think about was just doing a 30. "Just one". "I'm over it, I can do it once just to feel what it's like again and it won't matter". I was so, so fucking wrong.

I always had weird issues with self confidence, thinking I was ugly, shit like that from middle school. Girl things maybe, I don't know if guys get the same shit in school, girls are fucking mean. When I was 12 I found alcohol. Before I was 13 I started drinking vodka every day. It's not hard to get liquor in the punk rock scene... That went until I was about 19 and I drank too much with pills and ended up in the hospital. My best friend got me into weed to get me off the booze, it helped my stomach ulcers too... Then back and forth to adderall and random drinking, and then my relative got me into oc's when I was about 23... I really don't think I've gone more than a day or two without any sort of substance in me. Like right now, I'm drinking a pint of vodka. Only drank twice so far on day ten, but I know I can get through. For me, I always managed to go to work sober (or hungover) in my early years, and then when I got out I would just get wasted at night and do it all the next day. I always feel like I need something to make me feel alive. I don't know what it is. Maybe I should take up skydiving, haha!

i will regret tonight tomorrow when my anxiety is through the roof with this fucking hangover I'm in for.

I cant drink much any more, maybe once a week or so, the hangovers are terrible and I just feel like I want to die for a day afterwards. Just feel like I need some sort of replacement. The reason I'm drinking now is because I'm scared of becoming addicted to the handful of benzos I have. And we'll, the fucking anxiety. The anxiety! Ahhh!!!!

Playing some streetfighter right now. Dumb shit like this really does help pass the time. i hope you're doing well whiplash. Please stay in touch. [email protected]

:)
 
Cigrits, you sound like you are getting better. I know exactly how hard it is ti kick oxy and will keep you in my thougts. Every day you are clean makes hope spring eternal. Keep powering through this.
 
Kittycat5 said:
Cigrits, you sound like you are getting better. I know exactly how hard it is ti kick oxy and will keep you in my thougts. Every day you are clean makes hope spring eternal. Keep powering through this.
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My boyfriend drank too much and is being super abusive tonight. I'm in the living room crying. You and everyone else on here are all I have right now.

I guess if I want to drink I have to hide it or go somewhere away from him from now on. I'm so proud of myself for getting this far. But so fucking sad right now. 8 years we've been together. He was the worst alcoholic when we met. Tonight is bringing back just bad memories. It's the same shit all over again. sleeping on the couch tonight with just my random anonymous internet friends for inspiration to stay clean. Fucking pathetic.
 
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