• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

Status
Not open for further replies.
^uve had a lot going on for u lately neo - its not surprising that things cud b getting a bit on top of u
although i admit to knowing very little about self-harm, u can always talk to me (PM or MSN) and u know im here <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
I'm sitting at work, I can't concentrate so I haven't done any work today at all, and I feel sick. I just want to go home to bed.

:( :( :(
Click to expand...


I completely understand that. All I ever want to do lately is lay in bed, snort oxy (or dope, recently:\ ), and smoke weed. I go to work and do my schoolwork on my computer, but it's so hard. I have finally gotten the list of therapists that accept my insurance, but I just haven't gotten around to calling places. Anyways, I hope you feel better, n3ophy7e. You're not alone.
 
Well i'm new to cutting. I've only really been doing it for 2 weeks, it seems to have come and progressed with the intensification of my ED.
I don't know why...I don't feel ashamed or upset about it.

To be honest, i don't know what to do. Reading through TDS makes me not want to continue down this road, and i can see why. But i don't get a feeling of wanting to stop at all, i don't know..i just don't know.
 
^^ I know exactly what you mean hun.
I think in the long run it's not a good solution to your problems, because it's just releasing emotional strain without actually getting to the cause of the problems. So for now, it seems like it's a fine thing to be doing, and for a while it will be fine. But it can easily spiral out of control (as you've read on here) so just be wary of that. And if you think it's going too far (i.e. cutting every day, having to go out of your way to hide scars, needing stitches etc etc) then you should try to stop and see if you can solve the problems causing you to cut in the first place.

You mentioned your ED, are you seeing someone about that? How long has that been going on for?
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ I know exactly what you mean hun.
I think in the long run it's not a good solution to your problems, because it's just releasing emotional strain without actually getting to the cause of the problems. So for now, it seems like it's a fine thing to be doing, and for a while it will be fine. But it can easily spiral out of control (as you've read on here) so just be wary of that. And if you think it's going too far (i.e. cutting every day, having to go out of your way to hide scars, needing stitches etc etc) then you should try to stop and see if you can solve the problems causing you to cut in the first place.

You mentioned your ED, are you seeing someone about that? How long has that been going on for?
Click to expand...
It's been going on for about 3 and a half years. Constant and intense. I think that just recently because i finally accepted it, and stopped denying, its caused the ED to get even worse. Which brought upon the intensified drug use, and now the cutting.

No i've never really told anyone about it, don't think i'd ever have the guts to actually see someone about it - let alone the shame of family and friends finding out. I'm too shy for something like that to happen.

The worst thing about it though, was that the cutting (which for me was pretty severe last night...i mean, not really sever, but for how far i've gone it was) didn't help at all. I'd still binge and all the rest and now i haven't eaten since my last binge last night.
 
noreason41 said:
It's been going on for about 3 and a half years. Constant and intense. I think that just recently because i finally accepted it, and stopped denying, its caused the ED to get even worse. Which brought upon the intensified drug use, and now the cutting.

No i've never really told anyone about it, don't think i'd ever have the guts to actually see someone about it - let alone the shame of family and friends finding out. I'm too shy for something like that to happen.

The worst thing about it though, was that the cutting (which for me was pretty severe last night...i mean, not really sever, but for how far i've gone it was) didn't help at all. I'd still binge and all the rest and now i haven't eaten since my last binge last night.
Click to expand...
When I first went to the doctor about my ED's (at the time it was bulimia), I was SO SCARED. When the doctor called me in the room, I went in and sat down on the chair and just burst in to tears! She was a young doctor and was totally shocked, she didn't know what to do! I pulled myself together and managed to tell her why I was there, and it immediately felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders and my soul. It was hard to acknowledge to myself that I had a problem, and it was even harder to admit it to the doctor, but I was immediately glad that I had done it. If it's been going on for more than 3 years, you can't quit on your own, you need help.

You should be really careful with yourself if the cutting isn't helping anymore. This can easily lead to more cutting, deeper cutting, more dangerous acts of self-harm. Please be careful and take care of yourself.
 

Just a few thoughts.....this subject is the reason I came to bluelight. Googled 'cutters' and found this site. I have struggled with cutting for years and would ask that, if at all possible, to get some type of counseling before everything in your life gets too overwhelming. Please P.M. me of you need/want to chat! I'll be checking back off/on, ok?
No one can alter their past but they can prevent the present and future from becoming more traumatic and problematic Cutting became for me maladaptive coping skill and most of the serious episodes were due to being dissociative. However, cutting came to be the most serious addiction in my life and is still a struggle at times. It was a way for me to release the incredible emotional and psychic agony I was in but created another horror and hell for my children and family.
I agree wholehearted with n3ophy7e-in a very short time you will need to cut more frequently and more deeply with lifelong consequences or worse-death.
This is not in any way meant to be judgmental to anyone who cuts or does DSH. For the majority of folks it is not as serious or near fatal (although unhealthy and maladaptive) and serves many purposes. However, for some it becomes an extremely dangerous addiction.
 
I hear you, Pillthrill. I used to keep my 'stash' in altoid tins in various hiding places.......'just in case'. Totally a control issue. I'm sorry you're struggling.
 
^ You are to beautiful to be thinking of this. Please, for me, don't cut tonight. From cuter to cuter. I believe in you, and so do many others here in TDS. I love your heart, and your soul is just selfless. <3 *sending you love, peace and light*
 
I cut myself up pretty bad last night. It was just a culmination of things that have happened in the past week, not coping very well with life in general, blahdy blah blah. For the first time I am actually feeling regret and guilt about cutting myself...weird. I'm dreading having my boyfriend see the cuts because they're quite alarming/violent this time. He'll be supportive about it but I know he'll be shocked and disappointed too...
:(
 
Feel better N3phy7e!!! <3

Sorry Guys, but I need to vent a little. Does anyone get like so unbelieveably depressed and just can't shake it? The past couple of days I've been feeling really down. And what bothers me more is that I really dont have any solid reason to. I've got a lot going for me, but I've just been so sad. I just went through a really rough break up, and surgery, and a full course/job load. I've been handling it fairly well (better than I thought I would) but lately I feel like all of the stress I've held at bay is creeping up on me. I've been thinking about the ex a bit lately even though I try really hard not too, because he really hurt me in the end, I just want him to leave my mind alone. I've been thinking about seeing a therapist just to talk things out, because my friends are sure getting tired of hearing about this, but I don't know if that is the best idea either. Meh.
 
N3phy7e, you dont deserve that.

xxi135, why not see a therapist? its their job to listen, and suggest any treatment or relief from whats bothering your mind. it sounds like you have a lot on your mind, go see one, and spill it, get it out, get it over with.

live on.

Life Love & Laughter!
 
I dont know. Maybe its that I feel like is a stigma associated with therapists. I wouldnt want to spill it to a bad one. I have no idea how to find a good one. And arent they super expensive?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top