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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

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xxi15, I agree with PIP, you should consider seeing a therapist. They can be super expensive if you get a referral from your GP to see an actual psychiatrist. But if you just want to talk to someone to get things off your chest and sort out your thoughts, a lot of community centres/medical centres/etc offer a free counselling service. And obviously you can see a range of differently priced therapists in between these 2 extremes.

In my time I've seen 2 different psychologists and 1 psychiatrist (my current psych), and it has helped me get over a lot of things from social phobia to bulimia, and now I'm working on my alcoholism and general depression. I believe in today's society people are becoming more aware and accepting of mental health issues, so that stigma associated with seeing a psych is fading. What matters most is that you feel better, and if you can't shake the sadness on your own then you need help.

Good luck <3
 
Thanks, I think I'm definitely going to look into it. I go to a rather large university, so maybe they have something there.

They helped you with bulimia? That's interesting. I stopped cutting in may, I was going at it for quite a long time, but then I just stopped. I still get urges, Im sure you know what I mean. But in the mean time I seem to have developed this eating thing. Or lack there of. It just feels really good when I dont eat. I've lost a good 13 pounds over the last two months. I just feel really good about it even though I know it is probably a really bad thing.

Thanks guys for your support. I'm feeling a bit better <3
 
I started doing Hatha Yoga, which focuses alot on breath. So whenever I get all worked up, I do a breathing exercise. It helps, a lot actually. I just try to focus on breathing down into my gut- give the diaphragm a work out. I kind of get light headed doing it. All of that oxygen flowing to the brain I suppose.

Meditation also helps. Ive found that I want to cut the most when Im overwhelmed or really angry and just dont know how to cope or articulate how I feel to anyone, so I cut to gain back that control. If I just sit and breathe, and try not to think about anything until that anger passes I can usually confront the problem with a clearer head.

Of course some nights (like tonight) things just flood back. THanks again for chatting.
 
xxi135 said:
Thanks, I think I'm definitely going to look into it. I go to a rather large university, so maybe they have something there.

They helped you with bulimia? That's interesting. I stopped cutting in may, I was going at it for quite a long time, but then I just stopped. I still get urges, Im sure you know what I mean. But in the mean time I seem to have developed this eating thing. Or lack there of. It just feels really good when I dont eat. I've lost a good 13 pounds over the last two months. I just feel really good about it even though I know it is probably a really bad thing.

Thanks guys for your support. I'm feeling a bit better <3
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Yep my psych absolutely helped me with my bulimia! Eating disorders are a psychological problem, therefore a psychiatrist can fix it :)
And a therapist could help you with your eating issues too if you are ready to face them.

I reckon it would be safe to say that yes, for 100% certain, there would definitely be a counselling service offered at your uni. :)

That's really great that you've stopped cutting. But having said that, the fact that you have now stopped eating has just transferred the problem in to a different form. This is something that my psych told me that blew my mind, because I'd never considered it: The eating disorders, the cutting, the alcoholism, the drug use, they are all SYMPTOMS of the same underlying problem.

Interesting huh. Makes sense when you think about it.

xxi135 said:
I started doing Hatha Yoga, which focuses alot on breath. So whenever I get all worked up, I do a breathing exercise. It helps, a lot actually. I just try to focus on breathing down into my gut- give the diaphragm a work out. I kind of get light headed doing it. All of that oxygen flowing to the brain I suppose.

Meditation also helps. Ive found that I want to cut the most when Im overwhelmed or really angry and just dont know how to cope or articulate how I feel to anyone, so I cut to gain back that control. If I just sit and breathe, and try not to think about anything until that anger passes I can usually confront the problem with a clearer head.

Of course some nights (like tonight) things just flood back. THanks again for chatting.
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They are some really great tips xxi135!! Thank you so much for sharing. I'm definitely going to try some of these suggestions next time I feel the urge. :)
 
Yeah, I am aware that my self-harming behavior has shifted. Im trying to stop and eat more, but I seem to keep telling myself, tomorrow I will eat more, tomorrow I will eat this or that. And it doesn't happen. There is more to it than just, a shift from cutting to anorexia... I recently went through a break up and my ex tried saying any thing he could to hurt me. He told me that I was too fat, and that seeing me naked disgusted him. And that he wasn't really attracted to me for our entire relationship And while I know that this was just him trying to hurt me, He knew me very well and knows what buttons to push. But It's still kind of hard to get him out of my head. :|

N3ophy7e, it would make me really happy if you tried out the breathing thing. Let me know how it works for you.:)
 
stellablue said:
^ You are to beautiful to be thinking of this. Please, for me, don't cut tonight. From cuter to cuter. I believe in you, and so do many others here in TDS. I love your heart, and your soul is just selfless. <3 *sending you love, peace and light*
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I have never seen a person as kind as this, makes me have hope for the human race for once :)
<3 stella.
 
xxi135 said:
I dont know. Maybe its that I feel like is a stigma associated with therapists. I wouldnt want to spill it to a bad one. I have no idea how to find a good one. And arent they super expensive?
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stay away from the black lady at UB, she's a bad one
 
i used to cut myself mostly when i was age 14 - 16 or so. actually i really got into it. i would cut myself carefully with a razor blade or very sharp knife (i had special knives for this purpose) and then i would bleed and then sew the cut back up with dental floss. once my mom caught me and took me to the ER. the doctor was amazed how well i sewed it up. of course this didn't help and i had to go to the shrink - but eventually i just stopped doing it. i don't know if i outgrew it or what. but i remember that it did make me feel sort of warm and cozy when i would see my blood. sometimes i would drink it but mostly not. i think i was really just crying out for attention from my parents personally and when it didn't work went on to other things for attention. many, many , many years later i became a junkie and seeing my blood in the syringe also made me feel good.
brightest blessings to all
djh
 
Pillthrill said:
Anyone else kinda looking forward to cooler weather so you have the long sleeves to hide behind. Thank goodness its going to be cold this week... :(
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scars arn't too bad.. I switched to chest only years ago
 
^^ Yep, I've gone to legs only...shame it's coming in to Summer here! Damn shorts weather *humpf*
 
i do upper legs only but then i've got some cig and lighter burns near my ankles. one of them is pretty bad so i either have to wear pants or high socks which i hate. so yeah i'm happy its getting colder so i'm comfortable in pants haha. the one lighter burn is really really 'deep' or whatever and i'm worried about the skin in the middle falling off or something.
 
^^ How old is it? Is it getting infected? Or has it scarred over? You could still get some skin layers flake off if it's scarred already.

But if it's infected, please please go and see a doctor to get some antibiotics and/or some Silvazine cream from the chemist.
 
I used to cut my upper arms, and ankles, and upper thigh. It kind of stucks in all spots when you want to wear a bathing suit.
 
Well,
I went ot the doctors a few days ago...i've got insomnia.

I got given valium - and last night it didn't really help much

So i thoguht maybe i should take a few and drink with it ... see how it goes.

well, i'm up to a few standard drinks now, with 20mg Valium (bearing in mind i have no tolerance) - and i've cut myself at least 6 or 7 times now. It doesn't even hurt, it just feels good - like its fun.I don't know why...i ate some bread before and i want to throw it up...but i don't want to lsoe any valium...

Sorry i don't know why i'm posting this...sorry
 
I just took another 3 valium tablets...

their 10mg...

Now i'm a little worrie with the alcohol i've had...

i don't know - i just had to say this - something seems really wrong..

I'm probably over reacting, but today is the first day i lost control completelty - i need, no, i want help .. but i'm too scared to get it.

Sorry
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hey there.. if your still awake, first off, get yourself a nice glass of water n focus on drinking that, not more alco-ma-hal. You should be alright at this point, but I bet your in for a nice night (days?) sleep haha

Don't worry though, just don't take any more pills or drink any more. Sleep shouldn't be too hard at this point should it? Sip on some water and try to relax. Don't be cutting your self any more.. hell, at least for tonight. Just try to get some rest, that's why ya took the pills in the first place right? =)

Alcohol and benzos are very dangerous territory though, I'll post a thread if I can find it, it's all about past bluelighters that we've lost.. there are like two major killers of our kind here- either opiates, or alcohol and benzo combos.. I'll take a look.. everyone should see it, it is an eye opener.. ANYWAY, I don't wana lecture you, but just be careful, drinkin on those things could be really bad.

For now though, if ya only had a few, just get ready to hit the pillow and don't worry about it =)

People will be here to talk to you tomorrow, that's for sure!
 
Dragynfyr said:
Hey there.. if your still awake, first off, get yourself a nice glass of water n focus on drinking that, not more alco-ma-hal. You should be alright at this point, but I bet your in for a nice night (days?) sleep haha

Don't worry though, just don't take any more pills or drink any more. Sleep shouldn't be too hard at this point should it? Sip on some water and try to relax. Don't be cutting your self any more.. hell, at least for tonight. Just try to get some rest, that's why ya took the pills in the first place right? =)

Alcohol and benzos are very dangerous territory though, I'll post a thread if I can find it, it's all about past bluelighters that we've lost.. there are like two major killers of our kind here- either opiates, or alcohol and benzo combos.. I'll take a look.. everyone should see it, it is an eye opener.. ANYWAY, I don't wana lecture you, but just be careful, drinkin on those things could be really bad.

For now though, if ya only had a few, just get ready to hit the pillow and don't worry about it =)

People will be here to talk to you tomorrow, that's for sure!
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Yeah i'm still awake. Its funny - i'm talking to the few friends i have.

Its like the best and worst at the same time. I want to cut like i've never cut before (and i have been), but it feels so good for some reason. I don't know what to di, i get the feeling i won't get sleep tonight - again - but the alcohol is wearing off. I'm too scared to take any more valiums, and its only goign to get worse from here i suppose.

Even now, reading what i posted and what i've done makes me feel incredibly stupid and idiotic.
 
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