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Cutting v. 2

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sushii

sushii

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Old thread archived due to size. You can find it here.

For anyone new to this thread, the original one (Cutters: you are not alone) has some useful links and info. :)

This thread provides support to a lot of people here: please keep that in mind before posting anything potentially hurtful or derogatory about cutting.

<3

________________________________________________
if i may add to sushii's post, please do not post pics of self-mutilation, accidental wounds, drugs, nudes, needles, razors, art or any other triggering images, or posting in an idealization tense. thank you for your cooperation.

- panic in paradise

:)
 
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^Great post Pillthrill.

I don't know much about cutting, and never was a cutter, so I haven't ever followed this thread in the past. As a mod, that's no excuse, and I am going to try to actively participate in this thread this time around.
 
^ I have to say that I'm the same. I've never cut and don't feel like I can really offer much in the way of advice or support. I do read the thread regularly as it seems to attract a bit of trolling....and also because I think some great advice gets offered in here. There are a handful of regular posters who do such a good job of supporting others and offering information that's way beyond anything I understand. You should all know who you are. :)
 
I feel like shoving a needle in my arm.
Just for th ehell of it you know. I can't cut anymore and my drugs are killing me. Sorry for that useless blurt of information
 
^^ ZAP I am here for you if you wanna chat. I miss our emails. I would love you to write me and give me a heads up on how you are lately and what all has been going on with you and your mom. I am always here for you dear friend.
 
im sick of smiling im sick of pretending i try so hard, TOO hard, to make everyone else happy and nothing gets better for more than a couple days. i don't even know why you are annoyed with me this time! you expect SO fucking much of me and i cant do it.

i don't know, maybe this isn't meant to be. maybe WE'RE not meant to be. this time you have to come back to me, and im not gonna stop myself from doing it. you'll love me for my scars, or you won't at all. you'll love me for my neediness and paranoia and insecurties. you'll love me when i bleed, and you'll know that i bleed for me not for you.


it's been six months since i've done it. for you.

but i give up.
im scared that itll start again im scared to be found out im scared i'll like it.
help me.




im sorry if i sound like an idiot..
 
Don't worry Jessa, the DS is a safe place to say things like that. It is important to get it out there sometimes. You seem to be new so I wanted to share with you that there is a journal function that allows you to journal and get stuff like this out and have ppl reply just to you. You might find that helpful. Welcome to BL, feel free to PM me anytime.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
I feel like shoving a needle in my arm.
Just for th ehell of it you know. I can't cut anymore and my drugs are killing me. Sorry for that useless blurt of information
Click to expand...


Do you sometimes put a needle in your arm when you don't have any drugs? You know, just the needle?
 
^ I have known a lot of people that really crave to see the blood drown in a syringe. :\
 
stellablue said:
^ I have known a lot of people that really crave to see the blood drown in a syringe. :\
Click to expand...


That would be me--more so than I do the drug. My drg cravings are pretty minimal, but my needle cravings can be overwhelming at times. I have started to think of this as less drug-related behaviour and more of self-harm behaviour. Would anyone agree?
 
I think there's definitely a connection between needle fixation and self-harm. In the body-mod community cutting isn't always seen as pathology, instead it's done for pleasure, and many practitioners play with needles as well. Not syringes, just needles.

So no, I don't think it's strange, especially for drug users, for the two to be related.

Jessa, TDS is the safe space on Bluelight. There's a lot of 'rough' forums (e.g. the lounge) but TDS is here solely to support people and explore the dark side of drug use. It's a protected area where people can feel safe to express themselves and discuss very sensitive and personal issues. And if you ever see a post that is rude or out of place here, please report it and the mods will take care of it :).

Welcome!
 
Missykins said:
Do you sometimes put a needle in your arm when you don't have any drugs? You know, just the needle?
Click to expand...

I've never actually IV'd drugs. I've drawn my blood in the past and written with it on paper. It calms me. I haven't done it in awhile though. What stella said was right, the sight of blood in a needle..its gratifying.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
I've never actually IV'd drugs. I've drawn my blood in the past and written with it on paper. It calms me. I haven't done it in awhile though. What stella said was right, the sight of blood in a needle..its gratifying.
Click to expand...


I thought I was the only one who does this--I haven't shot drugs in 2+ years, but I still use a needle from time to time, especially when I feel like my world is spinning out of control--it brings me peace.
 
nope, you're not alone. people will call us morbid and sick for doing this but they don't know. its peaceful.
 
When I was really depressed I used to be down with cutting, I got over all that and haven't cut in years. It was kind of funny while I was doing it, my best friend was doing it as well, maybe it was some weird connection or bond, but then we did everything together, so it's nothing different
 
I used to cut, a lot. I mostly stopped because I realised the hassle I was getting from people around me outweighed the good I was getting from cutting myself.

Had a few minor slip-ups over the last 3ish years, but nothing big. I've recently been wanting to do it again but have resisted so far and looks like I'm doing OK.

what I've come to realise, and really try hard to remember, is that it's OK to be nice (really nice) to yourself even if you haven't already cut yourself.

After I used to cut myself I'd wash my cuts, get into bed, cry and listen to music but feel better. I try and remember that I can treat myself to a night off like that anyway, before I cut, just because I'm feeling shitty. I don't have to have the cuts on my body to prove to myself that I need a break. Just being so mentally distressed that you contemplate harming yourself is enough reason to take a few hours out to try and make yourself feel better.

I know everyone cuts for different reasons so this might not be of use to many people. but maybe someone reading this has similar reasons to me, and this might help? <3
 
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