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Cutting v. 2

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Pillthrill said:
tribalphoenix.jpg

Phoenix rising from the ashes, and if I can stand the pain of it all alone its a new chapter in inner strength...
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That is such an awesome tatt idea. You must get it!! :)
 
My two drunken neighbors tattooed themselves the other night...

He wanted it to say 'open one door, close two'... what he ended up with, right on his forearm lol..


OPEN
ONE
DOO

and the d almost looks like a P, so this kids got open one poo on his arm lol, open and one and doo are all the same length lol he ran out of room for the R.

Brilliant!
 
just stretch it out in ms paint and have em trace over it smooth?



Soooooooooo HAS ANYONE EVER NOTICED CUTTING DOESNT WORK IF YOUR ADDICTED TO PAIN KILLERS?! =*( it like barely did anything (my knife needs a tune up... about to bust open a razor)

took the last one yesterday before court (went well.....sort of won I guess...). Ran out of energy fast, slept from 10pm to noon. woke up sweating my nuts off and just pissed off and depressed and.. drank a beer, isn't exactly helping.. waiting on my doc, asked for small amount of 5's to work down on... bout so just go suboxin shopping with my doper friends
 
i just want to say and it may be off topic but for all of you how want to cut for the first time i know i am spaeking for alot of cutters when i say this...but seriously don't I started cutting in my teens and now at 22 when i want to look professional and get good jobs and things my arms look like i been through a meat shredder...I always say i was in a horible car accident but people arent stupid they know what it is...it's a certain way to show your weakness permanently
 
cowardlykamikaze said:
i just want to say and it may be off topic but for all of you how want to cut for the first time i know i am spaeking for alot of cutters when i say this...but seriously don't I started cutting in my teens and now at 22 when i want to look professional and get good jobs and things my arms look like i been through a meat shredder...I always say i was in a horible car accident but people arent stupid they know what it is...it's a certain way to show your weakness permanently
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I'm glad to hear you came through the otherside of cutting and now don't feel the need to do it. That shows great strength! You should be proud of yourself, rather than feel that you were weak for ever doing it. The scars will fade over time.

For me, I am proud of my scars. I have all sorts of good stories/excuses when people ask about them but if they don't believe me and know that it's self-induced, I really don't care. It just shows that I'm a more complex person than I appear to be at first.

Plus, I have a "thing" for scars :)
 
I like my scars, but definitely wouldn't recommend anyone start, it's a slippery slope.
 
My history with self-harm- I used to cut when I was 14 and it was kind of a phase, although i was depressed. Then about 2 years ago I got into cutting again for a couple of months. I stopped when I started to realize that it was going to be summer soon and i needed them to heal. (I cut myself on my upper arm, so normally no one could see them) Very recently(last month or so), I have started cutting myself on my thigh and burning myself. I've been burning myself a lot more than cutting. I take a lighter and put the flame to metal things and then put the metal on my skin and let it sit there for a little bit. I don't do any of this that often(usually every 3-4 days). The thing that is different this time around is that I've been getting a huge rush when I hurt myself. That never used to happen to me. I used to do it to "get my pain out" or whatever. Anyways. I'm going to start seeing a psychologist soon for my depression and I was wondering if other people tell their doctors/counselors about their cutting? I'm 19, so I know they can't call my parents or anything, right? Also, they can't put me in a mental institution, against my will, for cutting, right? I want to get all that I can out of these therapy sessions.
 
marlborogirl47 said:
My history with self-harm- I used to cut when I was 14 and it was kind of a phase, although i was depressed. Then about 2 years ago I got into cutting again for a couple of months. I stopped when I started to realize that it was going to be summer soon and i needed them to heal. (I cut myself on my upper arm, so normally no one could see them) Very recently(last month or so), I have started cutting myself on my thigh and burning myself. I've been burning myself a lot more than cutting. I take a lighter and put the flame to metal things and then put the metal on my skin and let it sit there for a little bit. I don't do any of this that often(usually every 3-4 days). The thing that is different this time around is that I've been getting a huge rush when I hurt myself. That never used to happen to me. I used to do it to "get my pain out" or whatever. Anyways. I'm going to start seeing a psychologist soon for my depression and I was wondering if other people tell their doctors/counselors about their cutting? I'm 19, so I know they can't call my parents or anything, right? Also, they can't put me in a mental institution, against my will, for cutting, right? I want to get all that I can out of these therapy sessions.
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Your story sounds very similar to my self-harm history <3

In my opinion (note: opinion only, no authority on the matter) they wouldn't/shouldn't put you in an institution because you cut/burn yourself. If you're suicidal then yes they should possibly think about institutionalising you. But your self-harm doesn't sound suicidal. Is this correct?

I have told one of my psychologists that I cut myself, and he was a bit of an idiot and kinda stammered about it and immediately moved on to the next topic...mate if you can't handle that kind of information then why are you a psychologist?! I haven't told any other professionals about my self-harm since then.

As for the "rush" you're experiencing, this is quite common, especially when there's more pain involved in how you're harming yourself. This is also why it's so fucking hard for some people to quit self-harm!! You literally get addicted to the endorphins/adrenaline rush.

If you are worried about not being able to stop cutting/burning, then I think it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor/counsellor/psych/someone you trust, and ask for their help.

Come back here any time to vent if you like, we all know what you're going through <3
 
Thanks, n3ophy7e :)

In answer to your question, when i hurt myself i'm not doing it to kill myself or anything. I think about suicide a lot, and sometimes wish i was dead, but i'd never kill myself. That is one of the reasons i'm apprehensive about telling a doctor the truth about cutting, though. I dont want him/her to think that i'm suicidal because of it. When i start seeing my new therapist, i will probably just try to feel him or her out before i tell them anything too personal. thanks for the support :)
 
No worries hun <3

Yeah I'm sure if you tell your new therapist about the cutting/burning, while emphasising that it's not with suicidal intentions, they should understand where you're coming from and that it's a coping mechanism.

One would hope so anyway!

Good luck with your new therapist hun :)
 
I think the reason for a bad response from a thearapist is that they might not be familiar with working with cutters. Most people just dont understand why we do what we do. It may come off as really bizarre for them. and they don't know how to deal with it. Or how to help. They feel helpless. I wouldn't take an off responce from a therapist to heart. Just like we try to express our emotions through cutting, that is just how they are expressing their helplessness. There are open-minded therapists out there that work specifically with cutters, so there is hope!

Good luck, I hope you have found a good one!
 
Yeah I'm seeing a new therapist on wednesday... well, I've seen her before, but lied like crazy lol.. I don't know if that would be telling her too much
 
^feel better pillthrill <3

^dragynfyr.. idk either. I mean she is there to help you right? But you kind of have to let her help you with that. I mean they can't really lock you up without you willingly going. Might help to talk to someone.

So, even though I haven't cut in forever, I've noticed a new addiction to piercings. I've gotten three in the past 2 months or so. I really like the way they look, but I also really like getting peirced too. Out of the three I've only kept one. Two of them I did myself. And the one I kept is so pretty, the other one I did was crooked and was hurting a bit so I took it out. Do you guys think this peircing phase is a form of self mutiliation? I told my friends that I did two myself and they looked at me like I was nuts. But truthfully it didn't really hurt that much. Maybe I've developed a high pain tolerance. idk. Now I want a tatoo.
 
Technically all piercings are self mutilation. It sounds like your piercing might be a little more than normal. When I was 13, I pierced my hand web (the flap of skin in between the pointer finger and thumb with a safety pin. Of course, it got infected so I ended up having to take it out and redo it several times just because I loved the feeling of it piercing my skin. For harm reduction's sake, you really shouldn't pierce yourself, they almost always get infected. But I understand what you're doing. And you should get a tattoo, I loved getting mine.
 
lol.... ok, no laughing. this one I wrote back in high school yeearrs ago... I just read it for the first time in forever, and I'm really tempted to edit some lines before I post it here lol.. buuut I'll leave it as is =p no laughing its pretty cheesy lol

He raises the blade and places it to his
arm. He begins to feel the freedom that he
gets from his self-harm. The edge of his
razor runs across the top of his skin. He
anticipates the release he will receive
when he slides it in.The steel is griped
tight in his hand. His mind is empty, is
clear, is like a barren wasteland. His
lungs expand as he takes in one last
breath. Then pressure is placed and he
slices his flesh. The breath is slowly
expelled as he feels the pain. He tries to
stop the message of hurt from reaching his
brain. The blade glides through deep into
his skin. Spread across his face is a cruel
grin. The pain is an intoxicating release.
He feels his mental torture begin to cease.
The blood begins to bead on the open wound.
Symbolizes his hate, his pain, his torment
that couldn't end too soon.
 
^^ Good work, very illustrative.


I wasn't really sure where I should put this post but I feel I need to vent.
I'm in a really really dark place at the moment. I've been depressed all this week and the last 2 nights in a row, not only have I desperately wanted to harm myself, but I've been entertaining suicidal thoughts. I haven't been this depressed for a while and it's scaring me that I am actually having full-on suicidal thoughts, for real. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so I'll discuss it with him then but in the meantime I'm just going to whinge about it on here ;)

I'm sitting at work, I can't concentrate so I haven't done any work today at all, and I feel sick. I just want to go home to bed.

:( :( :(
 
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