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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Curious. What’s everyone’s day to day with drugs?

I am quitting drugs, slowly but... yeah, we'll see... So at the moment I am stable on 1mg buprenorphine taken in 2 doses because of chronic pain issues. I am unfortunately dependent on benzodiazepines, so I take 20-30mg diazepam daily.

In recent past (~5 years ago) my every third day, or so, was like 150mg morphine AM, than 2 grams of cocaine from 6 PM - 4 AM, with a "sprinkle" (1 street gram) of amphetamine paste (EU here) for the legs. Than, when the day is over and the Sun is comming up I would take 30-40mg of methadone and benzodiazepines (usually 30mg diazepam with 18mg bromazepam). To sleep it all off I would take 30mg midazolam.

If I would binge I would have 3-4 grams of cocaine, and 5 grams of highly potent amphetamine paste. With a possible mdma dose here and there. That would keep me up and running for 3 days and 2 nights. Then I would crash with opioids and benzos to sleep it all off for 24 hours. But that is "ancient past" of 5 years ago.

In more ancient past (~15-20 years ago) I would binge so hard and so long on amphetamines (amphetamine paste, mdma, cocaine) that I ended in the psych ward with stimulants induced psychosis. Talk about fun time...

So nowdays is 1mg buprenorphine with 20-30mg diazepam. When I can not sleep due to pain I take pregabalin in low range dose (75-150mg) and that usually does the trick.

I am scared of kicking buprenorphine, which I will do in couple of months. But I am terrified about benzo taper and withdrawal as I am dependent for almost 20 years now.

I guess I gave more info than I needed. Sorry for rambling.

Sounds like you've come very far and are now using drugs far more sensibly and medically than you used to, which is an accomplishment in itself.

If you have chronic pain and you are not abusing the bupe it might be worth considering staying on it if it helps you. Since you take only 1mg a day for genuine pain it doesn't sound like you're abusing it. I only say that just because if you come off it and still have the chronic pain you may be tempted to self-medicate and end up down the rabbit hole again.

If you are only on 20-30mg diazepam right now then the taper should not be too painful as long as you can go at your own pace. As I'm sure you know, diazepam is the best benzo for tapering, and that's not a crazy high dose.

Best of luck to ya.
 
yes ! Go at your own pace. It is a long slow process with the best results ever.

small steps equal great results !

you can do this one step at a time and sometimes when we have to go backwards,
we just keep on going forward.

You will be fine ! ♡

Just keep on wanting and you will get there. ☀
 
Taking it easier today. Had to numb myself for a few days
29mg hydrometer
Just picked up Romulan weed
A few benzos
Baclofen
Only 4 cigarettes today, champix may be starting to work
 
yes ! Go at your own pace. It is a long slow process with the best results ever.

small steps equal great results !

you can do this one step at a time and sometimes when we have to go backwards,
we just keep on going forward.

You will be fine ! ♡

Just keep on wanting and you will get there. ☀
Youre right. The plants are living things and not just money trees. My friend gave me some good natural nutrients 😇

Yeah, I had to ask a lot of advices since I had forgotten many of them.

Thanks, I ll definitely get there.
 
^^^
I had a dream
Oh, yeah
Crazy dream, uh-huh
Anything I wanted to know
Any place I needed to go
Hear my song
Yeah, people don't you listen now !
Sing along
Oh
You don't know what you're missing, now
 
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