• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

Status
Not open for further replies.
IOSIP said:
Th

There is no treatment available for akathisia though so what's the point. I think it's because of the anhedonia

He's treating me like a drug addict because I had drug induced psychosis a moment in time that has forever changed the course of my life.

I'm so scared of death, but im fixated on it at the moment as only death will stop this torture

How can I live like this ? I dont know what to do.
Click to expand...
paranoid android said:
Akathisia is treated with Benzotropine and benzos if needed. So go find another doctor and get it treated
Click to expand...
I'm an ex benzo addict they won't prescribe. I've been prescribed benztropine its doing nothing.
 
Does anybody know if weed and shrooms can help recovery or return back to normal self, I read a post on Reddit that someone started taking big hits from bong for a while and it helped him return back to his normal self after antipsychotics
 
julianlz7 said:
I beg and pray to god every day to take this sickness poison out of my body as soon as possible
Click to expand...
God won't help you. Just turn on the news look at the horror of this world and realise we are already damned. To be born to die of disease. But your brain broke and now we all think of the most horrible thoughts that is suicide.

I'm sorry but if God existed he doesn't much care for us.
 
julianlz7 said:
Does anybody know if weed and shrooms can help recovery or return back to normal self, I read a post on Reddit that someone started taking big hits from bong for a while and it helped him return back to his normal self after antipsychotics
Click to expand...
They will not return you to normal
 
He will help and does exist because there has been 300+ recovery stories and I’ve read too from my own research that everyone will recover. The horror that happens around the world is because of karma cycle and nothing is perfect if there wasn’t any evil and chaos then peace and paradise and goodness wouldn’t exist it’s like yin and Yang
 
julianlz7 said:
He will help and does exist because there has been 300+ recovery stories and I’ve read too from my own research that everyone will recover. The horror that happens around the world is because of karma cycle and nothing is perfect if there wasn’t any evil and chaos then peace and paradise and goodness wouldn’t exist it’s like yin and Yang
Click to expand...
Nah it's just wrong what happens in this world. Luck of the draw. Fuck my life. I'm seriously wishing I was dead. But I can't stomach the thought of what comes next so I'm hanging around In this tortured existence

Akathisia is not OK. I just want it to stop.

Anhedonia is not OK either

The dread I feel about spend months or even years like this is killing me.
 
Time goes at a snails pace when your in this state. I can't even watch anything on TV. Nothing is of interest, everything just reminds me of the damage I've done to myself. And the things I will now never hope to do again. Like a trip over seas.

I'm going to be poor I'm going to struggle for the rest of my life. No one will employ me thag I'm sure of. Gap in my resume will be unexplainable and even if they do employ me. I not going to be earning much money.

I'm so scared of death, so very very scared of death. And yet I think about it on a daily basis as a way out.

I am disabled and I can't put it into Words how confronting that is. 37 disabled labelled drug addict for a 1 time fuck up involving a friend giving me meth
 
How does one be a recruiter ever again once they've had psychosis, I can't even string a sentence together with any enthusiasm just despair. I have so many regrets. I just keep coming back here today hoping someone might have a positive news story.

@TonyTonyChopper how on earth you are still doing this 10.5 months later after so many injections astounds me.

I've had 2 injections and I can't handle this.
 
IOSIP said:
Seriously life on earth = hell. I can't believe how fucked i am and the doctor treating me is just treating me like a second class citizen. There is almost no hope left for me. I might never be able to work again this akathisia is a nightmare
Click to expand...
We live in our mind not on earth. That's why some people are happy and some people feel like hell.

Our mind is altered that our soil of mind became literal hell.

This is a quite lessen. If we can change our mind we can be happy whether rich or not.

I just know so well how you feel right now.

The shell of my former self.

I am recovering though.

just hang in there, you will recover with time

No positive emotion can enter your mind now because it is blocked by artificial poison.

We have experienced what hell is like for real.

It is like jesus coming to life again.

We were crucified and resurrect so we become a better human being after all.

To tell people hell and heaven is on the mind.

Or to yourself, to save yourself.

Life is yin and yang.

when the bad is extreme, good arise and when peace is at the peak bad arise too.

We need to find the middle ground where there is no hell or heaven at all.

Eternal bliss which is void.

Life which there is no living or dying.

Without our mind, world doesn't exist.

We need to silence out mind and enter the void.

That's the life we need to seek when our "physical realm" is doomed.

Our "reality" is so damn bad.

We will be infinitely poor among few rich people, trying to find invisible hope.

Hope is the only thing you can get in this physical world.

True gain, money, power, self is to be found within or even deeper than that.

Invega is to destoy that hope that was blinding our mind and wake up to reality of voidness.

In which there is nothing other than our mind that make us happy or miserable.

Life as flesh is such a miserable life.

We need to seek deeper when we have experienced this limit of phsical being.

I perceive this as an opportunity as crisis is always an opportunity in other side.

I am not talking about some religioius bullshits.

Our energy is blocked by this poison and by unblocking it we become healthier and clearer that our body and mind gives us meaning and happiness.

Semen retention is a one step but we need to go so much further than that.

To transform semen into a "virtual" life form and born as true self.

I know how to do it.

It is easy if you know how.

Looking into deeper inner self.

There are other realms and beings in many dimensions that look what we are doing, and there are guides that lead us to certain point or plan.

I came back to where I was after invega.

I came to my own country where I was seeking my true self where I belong.

Being rich is not a decent goal to persue as we get old and die, there is no meaning and is a waste of time.

We need to pursue happiness beyond desires towards outwardly world, as it keep distracting us from finding inner self.

First in and out.

When we find true self first we can come to this world again to perfect the world.

Invega is crisis but an real opportunity to seek within and never waste time on the physical world.

I know this sounds only vague for invega patients who became so negative about life in general.

I hope there is someone who can truely understand what I am saying and get some hope.

Not only from recovery from invega but from life itself.

I have been into all kinds of shit beyond people's beliefs. But I can recall all my experiences of who I met, what I did.

This world and our consciousness is deeper than you think.

It is way deeper and there is religions for good reason.

So called "Science" is just another man made pseudo religion that people started to believe.

There is no spirituality or root in it that it is killing us.

Science is the shell of the world. Nothing more than numbers without meaning. Like world on invega.

Body is just cloth that you wear in this life, we need to feed our soul.

It is just the shell like you described.

We have numbed our soul because of invega, and now you see the importance of it because of its vacancy.

When our glass becomes a little clearer, we need to deliberately realize the importance of it.

Water and H2O is two different thing.

Yourself and Body is two different thing.

Without knowing this, we just live without "soul" without essence, meaning.

There are so many religious practices for a reason, because people have experienced more than this physical world.

it is not just imagination or hallucination as "Science" describe.

There is this world beyond this physical realm.

I know this even with invega effects still there because this is something that I witnessed and experienced with my mind.

But it is so delicate how heaven keeps me from telling people the truth of what I saw.

People developed sophisticated system that blinds them.

Anyway, living with that dopamine towards outside world is just fire in the match and looking into the inner world is the sun in the sky.


Try hard to find the meaning why we are experiencing this.

Don't make up stories with 'GODS"

but ask yourself what is truely meaningful to your soul.

What is after death.
What is after death?

Just void.
 
Almost another day of torture coming to a close. I can't wait to do it all again tomorrow.

It's really wearing me down guys.
 
IOSIP said:
How does one be a recruiter ever again once they've had psychosis, I can't even string a sentence together with any enthusiasm just despair. I have so many regrets. I just keep coming back here today hoping someone might have a positive news story.

@TonyTonyChopper how on earth you are still doing this 10.5 months later after so many injections astounds me.

I've had 2 injections and I can't handle this.
Click to expand...
I sincerly prayed to God and he is working his magic finally.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top