I took a full-on dose (for me) of ketamine (~125mg) while on MDMA and LSD last weekend, and it was the most intense drug experience I've ever had. I've taken some doses of various things that, looking back, were fucking retarded (8g mind-blowing shrooms, etc) and they didn't even come close to comparing to this.
I was kept alert enough from the other drugs to never really completely "go under" from the ketamine, and my mind was racing and racing. I didn't get the smooth dissolve into peaceful nothingness. I was torn apart and very aware of the entire process. It seemed so drawn out and long.
I was certain that I had died, very slowly, over and over. It took a while to sink in.
I completely, 110% parted with reality. I went to a new place, with totally different rules governing existence. I was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I felt as if I lived out lives as other people. I was more than one person at the same time. My mind was so bent it is not describable. Thinking about it makes me kind of dizzy still, it was so overwhelming.
I came to believe (and I mean totally convinced) that my real life/reality was a dream that I had woken up from. All my memories of that life were just dreams that I remembered in a really skewed twisted way.
Every once in a while, with intense concentration, I could halfway open my eyes. I was hallucinating so intensely everything was just a blur of swirling color, beams of light, everything was fluid and squirting around like liquid. I had enough K wieghed out to sustain that sort of state for at least 4 hours or so. I felt compelled to remain there at the time, to figure it all out. It only got more and more confusing. Nothing made any sense. i'd think about everythign being total nonsense, and it only get more confusing. How could I have inhabited this fucked up universe for so long and not understand any of it?
Memories from my real life, that I thought I'd dreamed up, became more and more distorted. I became more and more convinced that I truly came from the K/LSD/MDMA world I was now in. As I realized my girlfriend, dog, etc, had never been real, I became very sad. Then I thought... thats odd. There is no sad here. or happy. or anything. It was all numbers in my head. Everything was just a series of numbers. enough of the numbers strung together encoded certain thoughts. Over time, as I came into contact with more and more complex series of numbers they accumulated in my mind and formed the memories I had from this dream/past life.
After realizing that everything i knew was randomly inserted into my mind, it seemed awful. Just terrible. How could I exist like this? I became convinced that there was a hell, and I was its lone occupant. Doomed to stay forever.
As I came out of it, I was SO HAPPY to be alive. I had trouble believing that the K thing was just a drug experience for a while.. wasn't as sober as I thought I was. I woke up in the morning and was pretty much ok, aside from being a bit shaken up. I had kief all over my lap, and pot in my hair. I guess I tried to load a bowl and flailed around like a lunatic.
anyway..
It is interesting to look back on, in a way. I will never repeat that again though. I would take similar combinations, but with much lower amounts of ketamine (~50mg max probably), and probably much shorter acting psychedelics. The LSD went on too long and kind of scrambled me.
If you do this, be very careful please.
If I had not had a lot of very intense trips before this, I would have completely lost the plot, flipped my shit, gone nuts, no idea what would have happened. at least I would have been too impaired from the ketamine to unzip the tent and get out, much less run into the street or something.
I took something like 350mg ketamine, the doses probably way to close together. That didn't help, im sure. I had 2 hits of strong acid, and about 160mg MDMA.