same my drug of choice is oxycodone and coke for me is very easy to obtain and so is weed. but there is something about those oxyz which do more for me then coke or weed["reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs"]
same my drug of choice is oxycodone and coke for me is very easy to obtain and so is weed. but there is something about those oxyz which do more for me then coke or weed["reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs"]
Thats so true. Its like you take 1 line. first one of the day and you get a nice rush, then you just cant stop even tho you dont get the rush anymore. you just get that thought of one more line. lol scary drug. But i relly think if i ever had better cocaine ( more pure) i wouldnt hate it as much or need as much.
once you find your doc all conservation goes out the window, and i think this goes for everyone.
crack was one of my doc's and it did change me like you said. I had maybe 600 in my bank account when i started using that was saved up for college/car expenses, and that was all gone within a few months. After that was gone, i turned to exploiting myself to get it from men: smoking with them in my undergarments at their request, having sex with my dealer for the crack, eventually i got kinda pawned off on another older user who talked me into having sex with him in exchange for a smoke session.
like i said, once you've found the drug that makes you salivate and crave, you will do just about anything to stay high on it, even going so far as to ignore your morals and values to obtain that high
Luckily I smoked crack and wasn't amazed by it. The shit makes you fiend so bad. I don't know how many times we pulled over to look for that piece of crack I dropped in the car.... I just don't find the need to ever smoke it again. The high is too short and I couldn't deal with chasing a drug for a 10 minute high. I enjoy coke though but again overrated and I try not to indulge in that either... A gram can easily be gone in one night.
12 hour long weed coke and crack binge, my throat burns, and I've got OC 80 and a couple Xanax for the comedown.
How do I afford this shit? I spend all my time scheming to make money for this shit and making plays... damn. I'm tweakin.
edit: I meant 6 hour, just a little sleep deprived. nodding now.. bed soon.
thats how i was, i remember the last time i shot coke; i would put on my headphones, hit record, put on the record(some hallucinogen track)that started with loud bells, do a shot go prepare to mix, screw up the first blend, then start over. i did this until the coke was gone for a couple of hours, then i just wanted to die i felt so awful.
that feeling of desperation and disappointment is one i dont ever want to fully remember... ~shutters... that was probably 10 years ago.
I feel like that right now..shot after shot until stash is gone now I feel like I would rather die..
FUCK IV COKE
what am i doing to my fucking self i am a failure and pathetic embarrassment to my friends/family girlfriend. im 20 and i finally start to get in control on bupe maintenece (besides my benzo addiction i get off the street) and now im banging powder spending every fucking penny i have wanting to just die at the end of the night. I didn't give a shit about coke until i stuck that sucker in my vein and then i felt absolute bliss. i feel like a scumbag taking some of my girls lines while she sits there and watches it me turn myself into a pin cushion in one night.
the shitty thing is a couple who are really great friends of mine are slanging so i get the friendly fronts, but if they knew i was slamming it all theyd cut me off. probably obvious when im running to the bathroom every ten minutes when theyre around. is there any rush of any other drugs direct in the bloodstream as cocaine? opiates dont compare IV imho and i need to take control and not shove anything else in my veins that is as moreish duality heaven/hell as injecting coke is..
i feel like im going to be six feet deep by the time im 25...im worthless
and im sorry..im just crashing hard just ate a good bit of benzos and did some bupe so hopefully this night of bliss thats been dragged to hell will be over soon. that bellringer and metallic taste is just out of this world...my que for getting my terrible mess of a life i have right now and take control... i just cant resist when its around
i went from a weight lifting staying fit addiction to being in complete utter poly-drug addiction in a 4 year span. used to be 200lbs solid now im 140 lbs pale as can be sunken face and mutilated arms. things sure do get out of control with addiction in no time