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Cocaine/Crack: Serious Discussion Only

†∆†;9014215 said:
i cannot stop with this shit, the feeling of my heartbeat quickening is so addictive to me

waht the fuck am i supposed to do jesus
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What way do you usually do your coke anyway? I know what you mean when you say that the speeding up of your heart rate is addictive. As a friend of mine was fond of saying atleast it let's you know your alive even if your feeling like your dying :\

You can quit it just takes a mighty effort. I have known people who even i gave up hope on manage to give up their coke habits when they finally had enough of the bullshit. Don't give up on yourself man and don't be afraid to ask for help if you can't quit on your own.
 
paranoid android said:
What way do you usually do your coke anyway? I know what you mean when you say that the speeding up of your heart rate is addictive. As a friend of mine was fond of saying atleast it let's you know your alive even if your feeling like your dying :\

You can quit it just takes a mighty effort. I have known people who even i gave up hope on manage to give up their coke habits when they finally had enough of the bullshit. Don't give up on yourself man and don't be afraid to ask for help if you can't quit on your own.
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thanks for the encouragement.

i normally snort it, i have smoked crack a couple of times
 
right now, im having a really hard time. i miss it. i try and not think about it, but it just pops up. my ears ring randomly and i just cant stop thinking about it. its pretty rough psychologically. at least i cant taste it in my mouth randomly any more. are there any tips on how to curve these thoughts and keep my mind off it? does that longing get less and less eventually? i know it did with amps, it just took a while. please tell me it gets better?
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I hear every word of that. Some times I walk past a gas station or coffee shop and some smell will hit me where it ias like I am back in the Crack house and all the memories come flooding back. But as you said they are only thoughts and I am reading a little of: As a man thinketh by James Allen Here is a little excerpt from a chapter.

Of all the beautiful truths pertaining to the soul which have been restored and brought to light in this age, none is more gladdening or fruitful of divine promise and confidence than this - that man is the master of thought, the molder of character, and maker and shaper of condition, environment, and destiny.

As a being of Power, Intelligence, and Love, and the lord of his own thoughts, man holds the key to every situation, and contains within himself that transforming and regenerative agency by which he may make himself what he wills.

Man is always the master, even in his weakest and most abandoned state; but in his weakness and degradation he is the foolish master who misgoverns his "household." When he begins to reflect upon his condition, and to search diligently for the Law upon which his being is established, he then becomes the wise master, directing his energies with intelligence, and fashioning his thoughts to fruitful issues. Such is the conscious master, and man can only thus become by discovering within himself the laws of thought; which discovery is totally a matter of application, self-analysis, and experience.
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There is also a free ebook online. Here is the link: http://jamesallen.wwwhubs.com/think.htm

Keep going, little by little believe in yourself and believe that you are worth the effort.
 
i am struggling to get and stay clean im having a hard time i love it i love the way it makes me feel but after im sobor again i think oh god i just spent 100 on dope when i could have went shopping or for a drive or hell anything i hate the guilt the feeling like im worthless and having to hide the marks on my arms from shooting. Im scared as hell everytime i use im going to miss and yet i keep running back i know the road is going to be hard but im taking it one day at a time
 
Comments on the last three posts. Yeah - that is what I hate about smoking crack the most - the comedown is pure hell.

Like joybaby I need to cut back even more or quit. I was smoking crack almost once of twice a week for 3 years and now I have cut back to about 3 times per month and I even want to cut back more. It is a helluva disgusting way to have fun.

And yep, coke and crack are not for the poor. Luckily I have a good income and have been able to fund my crack habit with my income and have never had to dip into savings or sell anything. I guess I am very fortunately . . . but in the long run it is poorly spent money.
 
coke is a terrible drug. like i said, out of almost three years of being high - a 4 month amp addiction, and basically an addiction to everything else from there on - its the one that kicked my ass, made me give up the lifestyle, and go to rehab. since the last time i posted it has gotten a bit easier, thankfully.

i found that while talking to a friend back home who is still in the game that thinking about all the terrible times i had and sharing them with him - from abscesses, to my arms falling asleep while i drive, to having to cover my arms, to almost getting arrested, to so much more - really REALLY helped me get perspective again. and since then its been so much easier. i find that as drug addicts we are always quick to forget the bad places its taken us and only remember the "good". it really helps to spend some time talking to someone about all those bad experiences, and remember how when your using your never really thinking how fun it is if you get to that certain point i'm referring to...

joybabygirlcrisp said:
i am struggling to get and stay clean im having a hard time i love it i love the way it makes me feel but after im sobor again i think oh god i just spent 100 on dope when i could have went shopping or for a drive or hell anything i hate the guilt the feeling like im worthless and having to hide the marks on my arms from shooting. Im scared as hell everytime i use im going to miss and yet i keep running back i know the road is going to be hard but im taking it one day at a time
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I SOOOO understand the guilt and having to hide the marks on your arms - coke just leaves so many more then any other drug - but like i said. just try and remember why you dont want to do it, and why things are going from bad to worse..

are there any other suggestions to how to not think about it? or to try and keep the bad fresh in your mind?



and also thanks dredz for that quote and online book...its something to keep my mind busy and give me some interesting perspective. :)
 
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To Dexy's,

I checked out some of your previous posts. Sounds like you were in a lot of pain recently. Also I identify with being a great planner and not executing. I would even make different lists label them A B C. very important went in to A and less important into B and so on . Absolutley ridiculous. i coldn't keep up with the lists. Now I have a page fold it over in half and then half that again, so It goes into a back pocket real easy. When I think of something I need to do I write it down immediately. Always have a pen. Stick it in beside the paper. Don't use your phone apps etc, Write .

When there is more than pone thing written down. I look and I say what is more important and put the number 1 in front of it. Then #2 in front of the next thing and so on. Now what if I think of another thing that fits in between those two. No problem scribble out 2 and write 2 down beside the new item or simply write 2a beside it and 2 b. Either way I don't rewrite I just add a new thing and decide where in the pecking order it goes. And then I go and do it. Right then right there I look at #1 and go do it. And so On. I made things too hard for myself and then I showed no discipline and no determination. Now I get tough on myself and I say go do it .

Keep going , keep going. Glad you like the quote. Keep focusing on your thoughts,I believe, when you se them going the wrong way change them change them to good healthy thoughts and then take action on those healthy thoughts. Check out my blog today, I am determined to get through this. I hope you can be too.

Keep working hard..
 
thanks, i find that if i just try and focus on one thing for the day, or a few small things then i dont feel so overwhelmed and just decide not to do them all together. i was reading some of the book last night, and it just reminded me of what my therapist tried drilling into my head this entire last year - too bad i didnt get too much out of that because the only time i was basically sober was the hr i had to go see her, and you cant really better yourself if your too high to even recognize your problems.

i also just recently started taking 1-2 tbl spoons of hemp seed oil along with my anti-depressant because it is supposed to give you energy, help speed up your metabolism, and keep you appetite in check - since im paranoid ill gain too much weight since i got clean (even though i only gained 5 lbs) - and it really does help with energy.

since being clean i have noticed all the the things i tried to escape, and i have alot to work on which can be deterring and make things hard, but with a positive attitude and a little determination i hope things will eventually be better..
 
love coke and crack but dont need it ,and i used crack everyday,,but the bomb was freebase,,useing amoinia and iether then drying ,,you cant get better than that period....
 
oh man, my friend just sent me a link to a coke experience report. it describes the rush so well, its not so good for me. :( but i guess i just have to do something to take my mind off of it. :/ this sucks
 
My uncle is the nicest guy in the world

Give him a line of cocaine... and he is God (in his eyes) and he will beat the shit out of anybody EXCEPT: Kids,(but if a teenager talks shit to him...) and His parents

He got clean (he was an everything-user, but his favorites were Cocaine and Heroin... yet he rarely speedballed)

His body is so worn out it is unbelievable (compared to: my dad getting clean from being a daily 3.5g meth user (meth was pure too) and having no negative psychological or physical effects)
 
four months ago i started by going through a shitty $<snip> gram every week. then i progressed to finer $<snip> grams every few days. Then the last two months I've been buying $<snip> eight balls every three days (you save a good $100, yay), so I've pretty much been doing at least a gram a day the last two and a half months. i usually always find a way to get the money, but at the moment am in trouble and have to figure out how i can get more.

i don't have to go to school or work, thank god, because i would totally screw that up with this habit. i'm a mess. i don't get anything done because i'm either high or withdrawing (in bed for a whole day). i lie to everyone about it, almost everyone. i even lie to my psychiatrist. i'm 90 lbs now and it's difficult for me to walk around the city of new york, and hell trying to walk up stairs.

i worry about my nose and wonder what condition it is. i got a rhinoplasty six months ago so i'm guessing the coke is doing more damage to me than the rest. i keep checking if there's a hole coming in, because i'm so fearful of it happening. i never paid attention to my septum before so i don't know how it felt before i started this addiction, but right now it feels like there's just skin there against the bone and there's no cartilage. i wonder if that's how it always was or the coke did this.

i'm not the brightest person out there obviously. and surprise, i have a personality disorder which is popular for drug abuse. i'm wondering how long this will last. i am never living in reality so i can never think straight. sometimes i get really scared and depressed but then i just get high and everything is okay again. so i just keep doing this.

i'm kind of destroying my life and acting so lackadaisical about it. right now i'm just really upset because i thought i didn't have enough for an eight ball so i only bought a gram and then realized i DID have enough for an eight ball. and this gram is almost gone and i got an unlucky batch because it is not doing a THING to me. all i want right now is an endless supply of great quality blow so i can do line after line while laying in my bed staring at the ceiling and feeling like i'm in absolute heaven (i know, most people want to run down the streets when they're on it, but the way i enjoy it best is alone and still).
 
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I used to absolutely love smoking crack followed by a bag or two of heroin to bring me down again.
Just can't get it in my town now so not had any for years but that urge is still there and if I could get it again I know I would be straight back on that pipe. Lovely
 
I haven't touched any blow in over a month but i still get that nagging craving every now and again. Fuck IV coke right off :!
 
Thats so true. Its like you take 1 line. first one of the day and you get a nice rush, then you just cant stop even tho you dont get the rush anymore. you just get that thought of one more line. lol scary drug. But i relly think if i ever had better cocaine ( more pure) i wouldnt hate it as much or need as much.
 
Luckily I smoked crack and wasn't amazed by it. The shit makes you fiend so bad. I don't know how many times we pulled over to look for that piece of crack I dropped in the car.... I just don't find the need to ever smoke it again. The high is too short and I couldn't deal with chasing a drug for a 10 minute high. I enjoy coke though but again overrated and I try not to indulge in that either... A gram can easily be gone in one night.
 
same my drug of choice is oxycodone and coke for me is very easy to obtain and so is weed. but there is something about those oxyz which do more for me then coke or weed
 
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