Yeah, that's just the matchbook for my friend that's sitting in front of me...that's not counting other OD's or peeps that just couldn't take it and blew their brains out, or hung themselves.
2 months clean, congratulations...seriously. I've been on and off for over 10 years since my first treatment (not using, i started with kid shit around 13, tried dope for the first time in like 87 or 88, and since then it's been just a question of how low can I stand it, when can I move to get away from it, and how can i find a connection...)
But last night, fucking RLS, for the second night in a row. Feet just buzzing and fucking bothering me and couldn't stay still. So I took 2 mg of sub and willed myself to pass out again around 3am. The thing is, I can't keep sucking down the benzos, I don't want to establish the regular sub use, I'm not opposed to buying another jab, just cause I'm built that way, but that won't last and I'll be in the same shape again on Monday or so...so maybe some of that Nyquil stuff that's like 100% diphen will helpme sleep through it, i don't know.
I got a real strong feeling I'm just gonna say fuck it and pick up a pack today for relief. There goes fucking christmas and getting my car fixed and being an honest upstanding father and husband...once again. I got all next week off work again (too many unused V days - use en or lose em, and I'll use em, thank you very much, I've got plans to repaint the kitchen and some shit to make my wife happy).
for some reason it all makes sense to me. but good on you Shooter. I don't feel like youre putting me down or nothing. Really, it's the internet. Not much someone can say on here that's gonna get under my skin, for real.