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Mental Health Bluelight self harm support thread

Yeah Cap'n, drop me a line man. We can hash this shit out together. I know it's bee a while since you posted this and i haven't seen you around much....but anyways, give me a shout dude.
 
i feel like old feelings are being brought up again. i just feel empty, but i have a potential for a future? i used to be so so suicidal, everyday i would wake up wanting to die, and i fear its coming back. im upset because i feel like my destiny is to die. i always felt like my destiny was to die, and that it needed to be done soon. sometimes subtle things are signs, and maybe my self harm is a sign towards it. i want to cut but i have no places left to cut. i just want to cry, but i hate crying. everyone thinks im better but the truth is im not. i want to go on some sort of positive path, and ive been doing that. the only reason i havent been cutting is because i feel like it was part of me that had to leave. its better off gone, but what is there now? i feel lonely and alienated, my twin sister who is leaving for study abroad doesnt want to hang out with me. my mom whose done so many vile things to me is only happy because i have a job. when i didnt, she treated me like a shitstain. i just realized that you just cant ignore things. i dont want to take medication, and i have had not many negative thoughts, just negative feelings. i dont know, i just get so scared that im not good enough for anything, even though i have high confidence in myself. i dont want people to think im still depressed. i dont want my family to know. :(
 
my life feels so fucking pointless, all i can think about is getting a blade and slicing a vein
 
^I'm so sorry glitter_kiss. :( Can you distract yourself when you're feeling this way? You can try to watch a funny movie or do something with your hands like knitting or drawing. I have a mandala coloring book that I like to color in when I'm feeling an urge to hurt myself. It does seem to help me quite a bit. Try different things and know that the feelings won't last forever. PM me if you need someone to talk to, hun. <3
 
Really messed up last night, after having not cut or burnt myself for months. My arms and legs are a mess. :( My old one were just healing.. Argh.

Any advice on helping them heal? Or getting them removed? I'm tempted to get a tattoo over one very obvious area. I was going to start volunteering at a charity shop on Monday, but they are so bad.. I look forward to Autumn.
 
Vitamin E and Bio-Oil helps with the scarring. I do like the idea of a tattoo and how it would hinder you from self-harming more.
 
went to the hospital again, and of course i lose my librium script right after i get released. im sucha worthless piece of shit why dont they just let me die.
 
glitter_kiss said:
went to the hospital again, and of course i lose my librium script right after i get released. im sucha worthless piece of shit why dont they just let me die.
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Because you're NOT worthless... PM me anytime <3
 
^It happens. Being down on yourself for it will do no good though. Try your best not to dwell on it and move on. <3
 
^Agreed. Shame is your worst enemy in this situation.
 
I haven't self harmed since August. I haven't thought about it since August either. I hope it stays that way, I have health issues that are clouding my judgement and bringing me down, but I am strong willed. To anyone who has relapsed after a long period of being free from it, it's okay, you can always start fresh. You're not weak. Tomorrow is always a new day. And of you slip again? Just take it one step at a time.
 
I've been self harming for 4 years, in 2012 I managed to stop for 11 months. This year I've been in and out of hospital for my mental health and in march I started cutting again. I'm always safe, I cleanse the area with alcohol wipes, use sterile scalpel blades, never re use them, and always dress my wounds again with sterile gauze and bandages. At the minute I'm cutting almost daily, the need gets so overwhelming that I feel as if I'm going to die. Tried all kinds of distraction techniques along with slapping myself or using multiple elastic bands to cause pain. Is there anyone on here that would be willing to be a friend that understands? I really appreciate anything people have to offer me. Thanks in advance d2p <3
 
spork said:
Vitamin E and Bio-Oil helps with the scarring. I do like the idea of a tattoo and how it would hinder you from self-harming more.
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Bio-oil is a god send for burns. I am womyn of color and I have keloids (raised scar tissue). I have a tattoo over a keloid and it was painful. Also, several artists have stated their concern for tattooing over my left forearm (aka cutting board) due to the large amounts of scars.

I haven't self-harmed in over 2 1/2 years however recently, I've been pulling out my hair :?

When I feel the urge to snap, burn, or cut I just mutter what Scarlett O'Hara did in Gone With the Wind "After all, tomorrow is another day."

xx
 
The urge is getting the better of me again but I have run out of dressings that will stem the bleeding and protect from germs. I hope I don't end up being reckless. It feels like I can't breath
 
Ended up cutting last night, just had to soak my arm in water to get the dressing off. Think I need stitches but I'm making do with steri strips for now if they will hold
 
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