Despite my supposed childhood genius, I'm an idiot who runs into walls head first
When out of benzos, which will never happen again, but does eat through my wallet, since I buy etizolam powder now for the 5-6 days I always end up having no benzos. Thing is I'm underdosed, I've tapered in the past to the dose i am now, 20mg diazepam a day, .5mg xanax once a day...but this is just keeping me from full blown withdrawal.
Anyways, main point, normally I always pick up my valium a day in advance, it's alright, provincial (canada) health insurance pays for it and they have a window of 2 days before the refill day where it's pretty much ok with all pharmacists and technicians to renew. Except since I was on methadone/suboxone, I was forced to change pharmacies to one of the only ones that dispense methadone, all other pharmacies can also have suboxone, but usually they have to order it for you, so before I can change, I'll tell why I want to change pharmacies soon, it means i'll have to transfer all my other meds to that other pharmacy and make them order suboxone for me so it fits with my next renewal (every week, if you get your sub from a methadone clinic, you get the 1 week max privilege bullshit).
Anyway, on the 23rd, my dad wanted to pick me up and bring me to his house very far away up north in the middle of nowhere. You cannot transfer a benzo script more than once here anyway, so if I was to get a refill, it would transfer the script to that place only unless a doctor intervenes. So I call 'em, the technician is arguing with me that I can only pick them up the next day on the 24th, no matter how I would tell them that I wouldn't be in town and couldn't get my medication then, she asked the pharmacist, who of course happened to be working that day ? Of course the dead-eyed pale as a ghost redhead who loves to act like a bitch and is clearly in it for the money, no morals. (She would let me buy more aspirin with codeine than law allowed for before she got to be one of my methadone dispensers...). I was already in a 6 day withdrawal of valium and I just got so mad I hung up on them and had so much rage RAGE but I can't break anything or hurt anyone, i'm not like that, so I bend down and start running like a handegg player head first in the area between two doors, you know those things are rock hard. Then it hurt so bad I felt like I was dying and I was crying/yelling on my bed where i managed to walk and crash on after impact. But once the pain stopped, I felt better, the day was easier to endure with all the rage out of me.
Uh-oh, since then I wake up with annoying headaches that sometimes last all day, which go away with time, but if I go nap during the afternoon, the headache comes back full force stronger than in the morning.I get weird symptoms that feel like high blood pressure and some slight nausea.
Does this sound like a concussion ? Should I tell this to my psychiatrist so my daily dose gets upped even though he would prefer me off them but is logical enough to keep me on an amount to prevent me from losing my shit permanently ? I mean we hear of hockey players who get much crazier head contacts who get concussions symptoms for maybe 2 weeks then come back to play. But these people are followed by A+ doctors 24/7.
Please discuss... I have no idea how to end my post
