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Recovery August recovery thread

Hylight said:
took around a 7mg. of opioid to get through a work challenge. have quit for amost two days again. very depressed. thinking of taking some xanax. tired, no energy, depressed. it seems like acute withdrawal for 3 days every time i quit. taper went well but it was the xanax that also helped out.
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stay strong!! <3
 
I am also quite depressed and am not going to get better any time soon, so you're not alone. You can always reach out if you're feeling really low. <3
 
alprazolam
i am really low
can't make it a week
thc helps alot
red bull kept me conscious
xanax from getting nauseous
i might get a little weaker each day
thanks to all who support
getting stronger.
 
living with people is haaaarrrddd.

i've got loads of niggles with my housemate, none of which in itself is a big issue but put together they are getting to me. i've had to take zopiclone twice this week cos i've been obsessing about it and its stopped me sleeping. after needing 1 all year so far. i feel like she doesn't consider me, she wouldn't have the house without me cos she's on housing benefit and has a ccj, and she's massively taken over the house, including hanging stuff up that blocked access to my room til i moved it. on friday she said i could just freeze over winter cos her room has double glazing and mine doesn't, she said it jokily but i'm not impressed. i let her choose which room she wanted.

she doesn't have a job and that is her choice. i already offered to subsidise her council tax cos she doesn't qualify for council tax benefit cos its based on household income and i have a decent salary. i was gonna offer to subsidise her for gas over winter but now don't want to. i shouldn't have to pay cos she chooses not to work while i work my ass off. she's talking about going travelling later in the year. she owes me 80 quid and always says in meetings about keeping her side of the road clean. how is owing money and talking about spending a bomb on travel keeping your side of the road clean?

the kitchen, which is tiny, is at the level of clutter where its starting to impact my motivation to try and cook. not good given how i feel right now, my stomach has shrunk so much and i've not even been trying to restrict my food intake, but it means i can't make up for not having dinner by eating more at breakfast and lunch.

i'm going to talk to her but i'm already so upset its hard not to sound confrontational.

i was so tired on friday but thinking about her made me unable to sleep, then wake up at 6am and not be able to get back to sleep. i took a zopiclone and slept til half 2.
 
right, it's august n/h it's been 90 degrees
everyday and i am shivering.
it's cold.
 
cj said:
This real life shit fucking sucks. I don't know how people do this
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You can try meditation, exercise is hard for me in recovery, I work myself to death and don’t feel like it. Just 20min to breath with my eyes closed. Recovery to me is learning to ‘check out’ without substances. Drugs required a lot of my time and energy. Yet while clean I’m in my head every waking moment, needing some thing to help me cope. Looking for that next good or bad thing to do. 20min of peace
 
I bought some "ghb" the other day. I realized it was 1,4-bdo once I tasted it. I still did a dose but that shit feels horrible the next day I may chalk the loss up to the game and chunk it
 
cj said:
I bought some "ghb" the other day. I realized it was 1,4-bdo once I tasted it. I still did a dose but that shit feels horrible the next day I may chalk the loss up to the game and chunk it
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almost anyone's stuff is going to be that crap imo. sorry to hear you felt bad the next day.
 
right
aiZNa5r.png
 
sometimes it's about taking in how bad everything feels and letting go of your obsessions and what not and just let it all go. you know? I'm probably coming off cryptic because I've gone out of my way to reduce cannabis/shatter tolerance and it's caused me to be quite weird feeling. Every day is a new chance at being yourself, the bigger person, etc. Even when it feels impossible or you don't want it. Most of the time I wonder why I'm still going on with things but I'll go out of my way to help people without thinking about it. I'd like to think there are bigger things to live for but, I couldn't really say what they are.
 
Wow @chinup that sounds like a lot to deal with. Maybe time to look for a new housemate? Good luck whatever you decide.

And good luck to those of you struggling with depression and withdrawals, pain etc.

Lord knows I've been close myself at times, but, at risk of sounding trite, remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a [usually] temporary problem.

Stay strong, this too shall pass.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
sometimes it's about taking in how bad everything feels and letting go of your obsessions and what not and just let it all go. you know? I'm probably coming off cryptic because I've gone out of my way to reduce cannabis/shatter tolerance and it's caused me to be quite weird feeling. Every day is a new chance at being yourself, the bigger person, etc. Even when it feels impossible or you don't want it. Most of the time I wonder why I'm still going on with things but I'll go out of my way to help people without thinking about it. I'd like to think there are bigger things to live for but, I couldn't really say what they are.
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how do you do that. fuck how do you have such good writing skills too. i don't have and wouldn't know what to do without you here.
 
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