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Recovery August recovery thread

okay! yes ! i'm going to go make some chocolate chip treats with dark chocolate to celebrate my three days without dosing !!!
i gotta go. . . . .before i take something. oh ohh. i better because i could feel a cluster headache coming on all night.
where's that doctor in the house.
. . . nevermind ... cookies. ???????????
??
 
i thinking in the idea's of maybe a . . . . . yessss
xanax ! and 4 days norco free, i hope if i can lose the headache
 
i feel great ! just made egg plant parmesan and 6 dozen cookies oatmeal choco chip and regs. high as the sky, couldn't believe the eggplant was done and ready before i could even check the time. NOW if i can just get some sleep. have to work again the all night shift. xan helping me through day four. yeeha ya,y. depression will kick in again i am sure. hate it. just wish i will be able to do yoga and ride my mountain bike again soon, some day ☹.
 
yay ! for cookie day today ☺
xUnCBQK.jpg
 
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how do you do that. fuck how do you have such good writing skills too. i don't have and wouldn't know what to do without you here.
Writing is one of my passions, I've written my own novel, I write regularly for fun and it's one of my true passions I'll never be able to let go of. I know this is the H&R forum but I seemed to acquire substance induced hypergraphia and *it never went away* and I've always been high on literary flow for a long time now.

I am also quite well read (which is something ANYONE here could be too by the way), and it helps too. My dad got me into writing at an *incredibly* young age; something I urge *all parents* to do with their kids because it's a skill that is so necessary in higher education and creative writing is a skill that is just so... rich and rewarding and everyone has a voice and unique ideas and is worthy of telling their story, or writing something better :)

For the last few days (except for last night) I cut back on shatter and abstained from everything else. It wasn't the drugs I missed. It was my loved ones who have passed this year and there's been 3 of them. I've talked to others who were in other circumstances, I've known others to go through similar things and I know I'm not alone. It helps.

Accepting the negativity of life and allowing it to be perceived, is quite humbling and it's a facet of Buddhist philosophy regarding accepting impermanence, that life is suffering, yadda yadda (oversimplifications and what not). It helps to remember like other days I've had where the bad part seems to go on but there IS an end to it and a point of relaxation so you just look forward to that and learn to treasure the small moments.

One time I was going through heroin withdrawal circa 2012 (so long ago) and I remember looking at a cat I had at the time and they sneezed and it made me laugh and I remember thinking "wow, I'm laughing at the small things again, something's improving". I don't remain hopeful it's not about hope it's about just like accepting that all I have to do right now is perceive, that that's all I really am here to do for the moment and the "sense of meaning" or "greater functions" will come back if I am patient.

I can’t shake off the depression this time around. Taking a clonaz; I’m out of ideas here.
I don't blame you man. It'll be alright. Do you want to talk about why you feel depressed?
 
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I write but I seemed to acquire substance induced hypergraphia and literary flow for a long time now.

I am also quite well

yes um, my life isn't the same either, when it sure used to be like the way it isn't now.
anyway, i found a way to try to cope and am glad that i was able to find something.
but took years of opening up with questions.
prayers helped alot and so much, and now here i am.
i put less than half the amount of sugar from the recipe on the bag of chips and the cookies still turned out fantastic. they would be better dusted with powdered sugar but i can't find some now.
i can't fall asleep, but when i do i don't want to wake up for days.

Oh, I can feel what you write so much. It's so scary intense how great you are. Just, I get lost for words like that. Anyway.
? NICE.

you are so lucky to be gifted, and so very nice of you to share.
?
 
thanks hylight

i probably will never share my novel. it's a work of art i hope to destroy one day or leave only unto myself. I can't imagine anyone else would like it. Have considered giving it away to close friends. I never hoped to get rich off it.

If people are patient enough to read it I would like them to but it's a bizarre read.
 
oh that xanax is helping with everything. i think i will get some rest, go to work nd try for day four or five without norco ?. ☺!
i smoked some bud and had a cookie, a good recipe. . . . and seems to be a good boost for getting through recovery another day.
i have to stop eating too much sugar because it is not going to be good for me.
i adopted another puppy, i will be getting her from the vet. after 4:30 wednesday night. ♡.
sweet.
 
thanks hylight

i probably will never share my novel. it's a work of art i hope to destroy one day or leave only unto myself. I can't imagine anyone else would like it. Have considered giving it away to close friends. I never hoped to get rich off it.

If people are patient enough to read it I would like them to but it's a bizarre read.
lol. i doubt it ♡.
oh, i would read it, though.
you . . . sure know how to read, if you write even better WOW !
 
"i probably will never share my novel. it's a work of art i hope to destroy one day or leave only unto myself. I can't imagine anyone else would like it. Have considered giving it away to close friends. I never hoped to get rich off it.

If people are patient enough to read it I would like them to but it's a bizarre read."


even that was a great read right there. poetry.
! feel those words. YES! ?

it's probably genius.
thanks ?
 
Failing at complete "sobriety"...but I have been making steady progress. I'm getting ready to invest in a carpentry business with my father that is demanding my interest and finances. I say demanding but it is really a preferential choice.... Yay life... Starting to gain more interest s in psychedelics as an aid to recovery... I'm going to follow the LSD, DMT, shroom spiritual recharge protocol for a moment. Really interested in ibogaine as a 20+ year heron addict with over a dozen overdoses and every conceivable omt and withdrawal course followed I can't help but think it might help. I've given everything else a shot. Why not?
 
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I don't think I could take LSD that much...lol ... It would loose its luster .. my problem is the after work wind down. I'm trying to faze kratom out and stick with just kava. I wish I could utilize pot more but alas.... Probation.
 
I got run over at work by some asshole on a bicycle. Dude hit me full speed. I flew back a couple feet and he landed on top of me basically. Shit hurt. Then he had the nerve to call the hotel and say I assaulted him. The manager was just like "that's not the story I heard". I hate people
 
I got run over at work by some asshole on a bicycle. Dude hit me full speed. I flew back a couple feet and he landed on top of me basically. Shit hurt. Then he had the nerve to call the hotel and say I assaulted him. The manager was just like "that's not the story I heard". I hate people
wtf

you can sue him/press charges if you know who hit you with their bike

if you're riding a bike and don't know how to squeeze your hands you should be prepared for a world of hurt.
 
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