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Recovery August recovery thread

I’m also hating the universe for what it’s worth. Every day is a new chance to get it wrong. And I somehow do.

I’m going to really hate the world of pain I’m in before long.
 
I’m also hating the universe for what it’s worth. Every day is a new chance to get it wrong. And I somehow do.

I’m going to really hate the world of pain I’m in before long.
you can make it better when you try CH, you always do ?♡.
and it's august, so the heat is draining.
you do so well, stay with us. please.
because its just a road. but you can and you will, if you just do this.
chocolate chip cookie time ?.
 
Lol chocolate chip cookie time for sure

Looking forward to food time. Sure is warm in Saudi Arabia ?? ??♨
 
I think I rounded a corner with my kratom kick. It's day 6 and I feel baseline. Yesterday was one of the most difficult days because I was so bummed out all day.

I took 2 grams of shrooms last night but it wasn't near as enjoyable as my recent LSD adventure. It was a lot more disorienting and lacked the clear headed sense of connection but it leveled off into a nice afterglow and today I feel great. I'm almost considering microdosing every couple of days. My brother never got into drugs but I found out recently he had grown shrooms in order to microdose for depression. I'm curious how other people view psychedelic usage in recovery and specifically microdosing as an aid.

I haven't had any cravings what so ever for kratom or opiates. I know not to get too cocky or complacent but this time feels different. Im so over it and done. I've heard people who had lengthy clean time say that before. It's just taken too much from me.

Best wishes to everyone.
 
I've been smoking weed again. I forgot how much I love the stuff. Probably my last couple days in sober living this week. Will be so happy to leave
 
i haven't been sober either living for a long time.
i am doing better with my recovery but i am very worried about my health. but i am doing an interesting taper. as i try to taper from sadness and everthing else, um i just want to add exercise and fresh air helps tremendously. at least i have made it to that point too.
keep staying focused and Go There Yes ! ?
 
i just want to add exercise and fresh air helps tremendously.

I walk a lot, being a New Yorker, but yah I always feel better when I do at least a bit of cardio and working out. I go thru phases.

And yah fresh air really is nice. Indoor air quality is usually awful, and outdoor can be too if near fires or smog, etc. When I had my kid I bought air quality monitors and filters. Keeping windows cracked and stove exhaust fans on when cooking is the best thing one can do.

I have smoked too much of various substances in my time so I do my best to avoid air toxins...
 
Getting out, exercising and finding hobbies have always been crucial to my recovery.

I'm feeling pretty good today. I slept 7 hrs last night only waking up twice and it felt phenomenal. I got full REM sleep but the dreams weren't the type I usually get during withdrawal and PAWS, where I remember every moment as if it is a movie reel and I wake up feeling exhausted. I vaguely remember that I used heroin in the dream but it wasn't the focal point and I didn't even realize it was a part of it till I had been up for 30 minutes.

7 days in and absolutely no cravings what so ever for opiates or kratom. I feel a million times better than when I was taking the stuff. Now I'm just waiting on this massive and unpredictable hurricane that is barreling straight towards us Floridians.
 
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I'm really struggling. I feel like shit mentally and physically. I stopped taking all my meds except suboxone so I'm going through wellbutrin withdrawal. I just can't stop thinking about the horrific description of death from liver failure. I know I am going to need to off myself. I hope I can find the courage
 
Dude you're definitely going the right way, for sure, don't worry! 1200 is a large amount for such a small duration of time worked/saving (a lot of people can't save they immediately spend it all or manufacture a way for it to be gone: you're being SMART!) just give it like 2-3 more months maybe 5-6 more months, see if you can get that number up to like 4000 to 5000 and you'll have enough for starting a new life for yourself and then some.

It'll give you time to learn how to work out interpersonal issues with losers like your roommates who don't like to work and do stupid insane things like drumming at 2330 at night (I can only imagine how I'd react if I had work the next day and they did that shit). Because trust me I wouldn't handle that well either. I don't. With my buddy I'd tell him "dude I have to work just keep the volume down" and then like by the 4th or 5th time he'd wake me up again I'd be totally enraged. Like I understand where you're coming from. It's not a good feeling but you're taking the right path here man. Keep it up and stay true to yourself, you can do this!!!

Oh P.S. Birth Certificate... you do NOT need your mom to send you one! LOL You pay the state like $10 and they mail you a new one. It's so easy. Just do that and don't tell her so she thinks you are still "stuck" if she is still trying to manipulate you or whatever. And then you're good to go. I figured this out *really quickly* because you need(ed) a California ID to get MMJ here so yeah, I very quickly learned that.

Just tell them @ the DMV you lost the original and it won't be a big hassle; you might have to take the driver's portion of the driving test? Like in CA you would.

Just remember like whatever is stressing you out has a solution and you CAN do it! I promise. At least for most of the things you listed there are solutions and you can do it man. I believe in you.
CJ , this is all great information!!
We are just all afraid to try something new with our past, for what we where caught at, and more importantly for what we Got Away with!!
Just go down to DMV and say you lost your old license. the age of computers have some Very Dark sides, but the access to national information in not one of them!!
All is well
Your move will be to a new home and not the Street !!!
 
I'm really struggling. I feel like shit mentally and physically. I stopped taking all my meds except suboxone so I'm going through wellbutrin withdrawal. I just can't stop thinking about the horrific description of death from liver failure. I know I am going to need to off myself. I hope I can find the courage

ohh. i so hope you can get better. and just please be strong to do this. i don't feel good right now i hurt. i can barely do basic things and as soon as i can find a away to just be bed ridden i am right back horizontal again and can't get up.
and i can't even imagine feeling as bad as i do and going through what you are.
the body is pretty strong, maybe you can pull back real strong and beat this and
keep focus on staying healthy as possible.
wishing good things for you, always.
stay strong ! ♡
 
I'm really struggling. I feel like shit mentally and physically. I stopped taking all my meds except suboxone so I'm going through wellbutrin withdrawal. I just can't stop thinking about the horrific description of death from liver failure. I know I am going to need to off myself. I hope I can find the courage

If you got the test done when you were on medications then your readings are definitely going to get better after you stop. I had very bad readings when I was being medicated and given the vivitrol shot in rehab. I then disconitued all meds and my readings vastly improved. I guarantee that if you stay sober and keep doing the right thing, then you will get this taken care of. Harvoni is not as difficult as you may think for indigent people to obtain.

It's just the meds bending your mind my friend. When we put in the effort and footwork time has away of fixing things. Keep fighting the good fight and be good homie. You're getting ready to be out on your own. The possibilities are either going to open up for you or they are going to narrow and it's all up to us. I'd hate to see you crash and burn after all the hard work you've put in. All that freedom and a head that isn't in the right place will be a challenge to your sobriety. Make sure you make the right decisions because it will either lead to a disastrous relapse or continued improving circumstances and fortunes. I care about you man. It's going to get better.
 
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