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Anyone dropped out of life?

I'm in a very dark spot these days.
I don't work, I'm isolated from the world, my health is declining, I got no energy, sometimes I don't eat, video games bore me to death.
My future is very bleak, I keep ruminating about suicide very often these days. But I don't have the desire nor want to die yet. I'm far too young to be like this( I turn 30 this year). Although, I feel like I'm just existing...not truly living. I don't know how long I can keep up with this, but I suffer constantly everyday(physically, mentally, emotionally).
Hope u guys are doing better.
much love xx
 
mdmaxanaxketamine said:
When I was forced to be sober for a couple years via a court order from my parents (that the judge approved ofc) I dropped out of life completely in every aspect. I am not a functional member of society without drugs unfortunately.
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so what do you do with yourself?
 
Honestly right now I feel my life has completely spiralled out of control. I have messed my picture perfect life right up and I don't even know how to fix it because after 15 years off this crap and living this secret life absolutely no one knows about if I out myself I lose everything. So yeah checking out is pretty much what will happen. What a freaking mess !
 
There have been periods where I would contemplate about dropping out of society, but these periods would always end, because of multiple reasons. One of the primary reasons being economic, i.e. making living is tied to my job, which is directly tied to working with other people, so in order not to starve/become homeless, I have to stay connected one way or another.

I'm pretty introverted, but still I crave socialization with people I like/care about (still have some of them in my life). I still think my wish to sometimes drop out is coming as a response to somewhat escape from all this mess I've found myself in (in process of recovering from heavy substance abuse); those are moments when I blame others/society/environment I live in for helping to cause all the suffering. I'd like to think that during these periods I'm looking for a shortcut to deal with my problems and opting out seems like a logical choice.

Overall, I think dropping out for some can be healthy/needed, at least for a while until they can sufficiently sort out their lives/problems; there is a sense of wholeness/goodness when I engage into something which is good/helping others, takes away all this (very often negative) edge of myself.

Just my 2 cents tho.
 
kreativsniks said:
Overall, I think dropping out for some can be healthy/needed, at least for a while until they can sufficiently sort out their lives/problems; there is a sense of wholeness/goodness when I engage into something which is good/helping others, takes away all this (very often negative) edge of myself.
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One of the big problems with our society is the difficulty in finding yourself totally away, for a period of time, in order to recover from trauma or just to have a little space to think different thoughts. A few hours after work and one full day on the weekend is just not enough, it's basically the absolutely minimum needed to ensure the average person can catch a breath and not drown between bouts of toil.
 
I've pretty much dropped out of life.

It's not that I don't care about anything, but more so that I just have nothing & can't find anything, so therefore I'm forced to no longer care about anything.

I've had 2 people over to my place since the start of the year. One was my sister & the other was my long time friend that I've known for 8 years (who I now live 2.5hrs from)


Only time I go anywhere is to go to an appt or the store.


Basically waiting to die at 36 years old.


I got permanently banned from Reddit for calling some conservative cuck a "bootlicker". Some how that's "encouraging violence".
And I still look at Reddit some times for something to read. But today I came across another post of people calling drug users "Zombies" and they were acting like doctors & the government are just handing out opioids left & right. Which isn't true. And calling people "zombies" is dehumanizing. But of course I can't say anything or call them out on that cause I'm banned. If this is most people's attitude, then why the hell would I wanna be a part of society anyway?
 
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DeathIndustrial88 said:
I've pretty much dropped out of life.

It's not that I don't care about anything, but more so that I just have nothing & can't find anything, so therefore I'm forced to no longer care about anything.

I've had 2 people over to my place since the start of the year. One was my sister & the other was my long time friend that I've known for 8 years.


Only time I go anywhere is to go to an appt or the store.


Basically waiting to die at the 36 years old.
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It's frustrating. Also personally when I feel I am going out of my way and putting in lots of effort with no return.

It too makes me not care. And I don't enjoy not caring.. nothing good comes from that.

But social isolation is tough. It can feel liberating at times, but it's also tough. Right there with you
 
Madness said:
It's frustrating. Also personally when I feel I am going out of my way and putting in lots of effort with no return.

It too makes me not care. And I don't enjoy not caring.. nothing good comes from that.

But social isolation is tough. It can feel liberating at times, but it's also tough. Right there with you
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It really is.

Just 5 years ago I had a life. I had friends that would come over. People's houses I could go to. Drugs to do.

And then in 2019 my heroin dealer shot & killed somebody & went to prison. And my mom got cancer. And I had to uproot myself from the town I had been living in for 11 years & move 2.5hrs away to live with my ex, in a town where I don't know anybody. My mom passed & ever since then, I've just become a recluse. Not really by choice either, but it's harder to meet people & make new friends at my age. I don't like alcohol, so I don't drink or go to bars or anything. And basically banned from almost every part of the internet.

It use to be okay for me too cause it just meant I had waay more time to do the things I love (like making art & music). But of course depression has robbed me of my creativity & ability to enjoy those things anymore too.

I have no idea what to do anymore.
 
Madness said:
Also I too have been banned from reddit 😅 several times
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I tried to make a new account today so I could start calling people out again on their idiocy, but it's like it recognizes my IP or something cause it won't even let me make a new account. And I ain't gonna go through to the trouble of buying a VPN just to get back on that shit-hole site. lol

I was banned another time too, but was able to easily make a new profile. So they must have changed something.

But it is ridiculous, cause I should have never been banned in the first place. Calling some one a bootlicker is not "encouraging violence". In fact, I called the dude a bootlicker because he was trying to justify police brutality. lol So if anyone was "encouraging violence", it was that MF'er. Makes zero sense, but that's reddit for ya I guess. They rejected my appeal too. Fuckers.
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
It really is.

Just 5 years ago I had a life. I had friends that would come over. People's houses I could go to. Drugs to do.

And then in 2019 my heroin dealer shot & killed somebody & went to prison. And my mom got cancer. And I had to uproot myself from the town I had been living in for 11 years & move 2.5hrs away to live with my ex, in a town where I don't know anybody. My mom passed & ever since then, I've just become a recluse. Not really by choice either, but it's harder to meet people & make new friends at my age. I don't like alcohol, so I don't drink or go to bars or anything. And basically banned from almost every part of the internet.

It use to be okay for me too cause it just meant I had waay more time to do the things I love (like making art & music). But of course depression has robbed me of my creativity & ability to enjoy those things anymore too.

I have no idea what to do anymore.
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That's some intense stuff.

Personally I try to do one small positive thing. One small good choice after another builds momentum, sometimes surprisingly fast.

Sometimes I feel the way society is constructed though like sets me up for failure. But I'll be damned if I let myself be locked when I'm down. I don't want to go the other way.. I don't want to exert control in a negative way, but sometimes I feel like it would help, but ultimately not one specific person is to blame

I can't blame people for being what they were born as + what society made them.
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
I tried to make a new account today so I could start calling people out again on their idiocy, but it's like it recognizes my IP or something cause it won't even let me make a new account. And I ain't gonna go through to the trouble of buying a VPN just to get back on that shit-hole site. lol

I was banned another time too, but was able to easily make a new profile. So they must have changed something.

But it is ridiculous, cause I should have never been banned in the first place. Calling some one a bootlicker is not "encouraging violence". In fact, I called the dude a bootlicker because he was trying to justify police brutality. lol So if anyone was "encouraging violence", it was that MF'er. Makes zero sense, but that's reddit for ya I guess. They rejected my appeal too. Fuckers.
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I feel reddit is trying too hard to please people now that they're publicly traded.

Once money is involved, asses are kissed.
 
Madness said:
That's some intense stuff.

Personally I try to do one small positive thing. One small good choice after another builds momentum, sometimes surprisingly fast.

Sometimes I feel the way society is constructed though like sets me up for failure. But I'll be damned if I let myself be locked when I'm down. I don't want to go the other way.. I don't want to exert control in a negative way, but sometimes I feel like it would help, but ultimately not one specific person is to blame

I can't blame people for being what they were born as + what society made them.
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Society is definitely made in a way that it pushes some people down, while uplifting some of the shittiest people out there.

I'd be fine with no social life or anything if I had access to heroin or full agonist opioids. They're about the only thing that truly relieves my nagging daily depression & give me a better quality of life, excluding withdrawal which wouldn't be much of a issue if people could access it legally anyway. So already right there society has set me up for failure. I can either struggle my whole life trying to find opioids to stay sane & normal, I could die from fentanyl or end up in prison. How lovely.

It's hard for me to even respect a society that thinks like this honestly. lol


Madness said:
I feel reddit is trying too hard to please people now that they're publicly traded.

Once money is involved, asses are kissed.
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They're hypocrites. lol

It's funny cause the guy I called a bootlicker kept on commenting & commenting to me non-stop & even throwing in some ad hominem cause he couldn't back up his arguments. So I reported his dumb ass for 'harassment'. And at first reddit said they didn't find anything wrong with it & he must have reported me back for "violence". lol And then I got banned. And then a few days after I got banned, reddit came back & sent me a new message saying "oh we were wrong about so & so & they actually were violating the terms of service!"...... lol How fucking ironic that they didn't do anything the first time around & then had the nerve to ban me over his false report. lol Fuck that site. The people on there are all walking, talking sheep, no matter how much they protest that everyone else are.
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
. And then a few days after I got banned, reddit came back & sent me a new message saying "oh we were wrong about so & so & they actually were violating the terms of service!"......
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They don't know up from down.

Do you smoke weed? I find weed has drastically different effects from person to person, but I'm curious if you enjoy it or not?
 
Madness said:
They don't know up from down.

Do you smoke weed? I find weed has drastically different effects from person to person, but I'm curious if you enjoy it or not?
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Yes, I've been a pot smoker since I was 12 (I'm 36 now). Mostly every day, except when I couldn't get it.

Now I have a medical card, so I don't really have to go without weed too often. I like it though. Some times it increases my anxiety pretty bad, it's always kind of done this, but I just fight through it & remind myself that it'll pass eventually. But I don't find weed very fun anymore. Maybe I'm smoking it too much, but it just doesn't do much for me besides make me a bit spacey & drowsy these days.

I take buprenorphine every day too, which I hate. It too just basically makes me really drowsy & apathetic.
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
Yes, I've been a pot smoker since I was 12 (I'm 36 now). Mostly every day, except when I couldn't get it.

Now I have a medical card, so I don't really have to go without weed too often. I like it though. Some times it increases my anxiety pretty bad, it's always kind of done this, but I just fight through it & remind myself that it'll pass eventually. But I don't find weed very fun anymore. Maybe I'm smoking it too much, but it just doesn't do much for me besides make me a bit spacey & drowsy these days.

I take buprenorphine every day too, which I hate. It too just basically makes me really drowsy & apathetic.
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A lot of people as they get older tend to not like it as much; there was a thread about that on here. Then you have life long stoners, it depends on the person
 
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