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Im looking for more help in my area of recovery. Dealing with Heroin addiction for about over 4 years now. 23 and want to get my life together finally!!! I have already detoxed myself from Suboxone since I was on it for over a year and went through withdrawals for about 2 months. The cravings got so harsh and then I went backwards to H again. I've been doing it straight for the last 3-4 weeks. I only have about 2 8mg subs left. UGH! I wanted to know if anyone had any info or insight. Im wondering if I will still be sick if I use the Suboxone by taking literally less than a quarter strip for 3 days from the 8mg.....? I figure if I just take enough to feel somewhat ok and still mild withdrawals Ill be able to get through day 1 & 2 and maybe by the 2nd 1/2 day I can cold turkey through the pain and hoping to be fine and able to get back to work by Monday. Its Friday and its already been 24 hrs since my last dose.

please help8(
 
Need to Change NOW

Can we help we others, replys this message. and we will go members in this site! :)

Admin-please move if there's a better place for my essay.

This is my first post. About me. I've been addicted to opiates since I had my first bottle of vicaden at about 23 years of age. I know this because I found myself taking the two pills every 4 hours up until I finished my script and called in for more which I was denied. Ever since then, I'd try to get some from anyone that mention having it. Thankfully I didn't know that people sold prescriptions until I was about 28. The year prior to that, a girl at work was getting her friends pain management scripts. I had two surgeries in the time frame in which I get refills on my meds. Coke came into my life at 29 just after my I was ordered to pay mental health their of an ex-H was awarded 4.5 years of spousal support, pay towards student loans the same amount of time, and pay him $16 grand in before the divorce would finalize while he continued to sponge off others. I got to keep my house that was upside down by about $175 grand (fortunately the HELOC wasn't closed yet and was able to pay ex with it), keep physical custody of my daughters but pay $1250 in child care that I had never had to pay. I also started buying vicaden and norcos, drinking daily, and smoking canabis soon after he moved out. I was having to pull from savings just to pay monthly bills. Well alcohol,weed, and coke became daily friends when I'd get lonely at night after my kids were in bed. I blew through over $20 grand over the next year and a half and could no longer pay bills, mortgages, spousal, and child care if I was going to pay bills and feed my girls and I. I started blowing about a 1/2 to 2/4 ounces of coke and drinking before and after work and whole weekends when their dad would have them over about a year after losing house. I met my now husband when using like this. I kept him in the dark about the coke as he was so clean. My anxiety ended up through the roof while I was hiding this. Rather that tell him, I managed to drop coke which led to me drinking even more and graduating to snorting oxys to continue functioning. My opiate use has been ongoing since then besides the couple months I was taking 3 8 mg Suboxone strips after my unsuccessful back surgery. When I ran out, the withdrawals were so awful that I ended back taking about 15 norcos daily to keep out of withdrawal. As I started making better connects, I was taking any opiates I could get to keep from being sick. I finally found a less expensive connect to methadone. I was taking 12 10 mg tablets daily about two years ago and have weaned down to 3 a day as of this month. I stayed off the coke ever 5 years and married the man I secretly quit for. My back flaired again after my boss refused to allow the work restrictions about two months ago and has me down in every sense. Well, my sister and 25 year old nephew were over swimming 4 weeks ago. I ended up drinking with them and was in the house with him and he offered me a line. I thought I probably shouldn't as I pictured myself using it and agreed. We had about three sometime mid day. Six or seven hours later I called him to bring me a gram for myself after my husband went to bed. I have been using 2.5 8 balls a week since besides this past weekend when I took a day and a half break after giving myself a gnarly sinus infection. This has got to stop before I end up getting caught by my husband or daughter and hurting my family. I could use help and encouragement,replies and I'm open to help via pm.

I grew up to meth addicted parent and promised myself to do better for my family. I know first hast what a raid does to kids. I've got chronic back pain and mental health issues for as long as I can remember. I just want to be clrean and living with my family.

Jane
 
Im looking for more help in my area of recovery. Dealing with Heroin addiction for about over 4 years now. 23 and want to get my life together finally!!! I have already detoxed myself from Suboxone since I was on it for over a year and went through withdrawals for about 2 months. The cravings got so harsh and then I went backwards to H again. I've been doing it straight for the last 3-4 weeks. I only have about 2 8mg subs left. UGH! I wanted to know if anyone had any info or insight. Im wondering if I will still be sick if I use the Suboxone by taking literally less than a quarter strip for 3 days from the 8mg.....? I figure if I just take enough to feel somewhat ok and still mild withdrawals Ill be able to get through day 1 & 2 and maybe by the 2nd 1/2 day I can cold turkey through the pain and hoping to be fine and able to get back to work by Monday. Its Friday and its already been 24 hrs since my last dose.

please help8(

Admin-please move if there's a better place for my essay.

This is my first post. About me. I've been addicted to opiates since I had my first bottle of vicaden at about 23 years of age. I know this because I found myself taking the two pills every 4 hours up until I finished my script and called in for more which I was denied. Ever since then, I'd try to get some from anyone that mention having it. Thankfully I didn't know that people sold prescriptions until I was about 28. The year prior to that, a girl at work was getting her friends pain management scripts. I had two surgeries in the time frame in which I get refills on my meds. Coke came into my life at 29 just after my I was ordered to pay mental health their of an ex-H was awarded 4.5 years of spousal support, pay towards student loans the same amount of time, and pay him $16 grand in before the divorce would finalize while he continued to sponge off others. I got to keep my house that was upside down by about $175 grand (fortunately the HELOC wasn't closed yet and was able to pay ex with it), keep physical custody of my daughters but pay $1250 in child care that I had never had to pay. I also started buying vicaden and norcos, drinking daily, and smoking canabis soon after he moved out. I was having to pull from savings just to pay monthly bills. Well alcohol,weed, and coke became daily friends when I'd get lonely at night after my kids were in bed. I blew through over $20 grand over the next year and a half and could no longer pay bills, mortgages, spousal, and child care if I was going to pay bills and feed my girls and I. I started blowing about a 1/2 to 2/4 ounces of coke and drinking before and after work and whole weekends when their dad would have them over about a year after losing house. I met my now husband when using like this. I kept him in the dark about the coke as he was so clean. My anxiety ended up through the roof while I was hiding this. Rather that tell him, I managed to drop coke which led to me drinking even more and graduating to snorting oxys to continue functioning. My opiate use has been ongoing since then besides the couple months I was taking 3 8 mg Suboxone strips after my unsuccessful back surgery. When I ran out, the withdrawals were so awful that I ended back taking about 15 norcos daily to keep out of withdrawal. As I started making better connects, I was taking any opiates I could get to keep from being sick. I finally found a less expensive connect to methadone. I was taking 12 10 mg tablets daily about two years ago and have weaned down to 3 a day as of this month. I stayed off the coke ever 5 years and married the man I secretly quit for. My back flaired again after my boss refused to allow the work restrictions about two months ago and has me down in every sense. Well, my sister and 25 year old nephew were over swimming 4 weeks ago. I ended up drinking with them and was in the house with him and he offered me a line. I thought I probably shouldn't as I pictured myself using it and agreed. We had about three sometime mid day. Six or seven hours later I called him to bring me a gram for myself after my husband went to bed. I have been using 2.5 8 balls a week since besides this past weekend when I took a day and a half break after giving myself a gnarly sinus infection. This has got to stop before I end up getting caught by my husband or daughter and hurting my family. I could use help and encouragement,replies and I'm open to help via pm.

I grew up to meth addicted parent and promised myself to do better for my family. I know first hast what a raid does to kids. I've got chronic back pain and mental health issues for as long as I can remember. I just want to be clrean and living with my family.

Jane

Welcome to BL each of you! Consider making your own threads about what you are dealing with in our Sober Living forum.
 
Ive been on base or speed half my life and done home detox so many times but then go back on it again. I am also on morthine pills and juice but thats given to me for a bad back via doctor but on top i suffer with fits.am back on it again so thinking home detox i dont get help from anyone its so hard
 
Love all you said. Half my life ive been taking speed base and i keep doing home detox without help from anyone but once again am back to it and i am on pain killers morthine a high mg for back pain from doctor also i suffer with fits i know i can detox again but wish i could tell my doctor but he is so rude i cant. If i did would be help me with something to take to put in my body when i detox
 
Why has ice become so nasty i have got nothing but junk in months it burns bad stinks and no high what is it? What the heck is going on it is white as snow after melt rocks back hut nothing using foil any help?
 
Let me tell you I've been on opiates for almost 5 years spent at least half million dollars basically never wanted to be sick and never was anyone trying to get off opiates I just found a cure go buy some meth or adderall and only use it for one week threw your wd systems it stimulates your nervous system and the FDA is currently in progress of approving a sinlair drug for opiate withdraw that stimulates your nervous system literitly felt not one god damn thing besides shitting water on day 2 but I was still at work motivated as hell after a week of adderall I'm prescribed just took way more than I should opiate withdraw cured delete all your friends start fresh you made it :)
 
2
is useful. I have used a similar technique to get off of opiods. I was on them for about 10 years. For the last 3 or 4 I tried quiting many times and many ways. I really have never used any drug before opiods (I am nearly 50) except some shrooms in my early 20s.

Having had some success with cold turkey and then going on a vacation for a month was the best I had done to date. That was about 6 weeks clean plus the 5 days of detox before flying away. Each time I took note of what worked and why.

Finally I got to the stage where I had a longer term plan. I got my use of opiods down to 3 x a day at 6mg. I had prepared capsules of .25g of meth powder, some ground up vitamins and some antacid tablets on the side. One each morning for 10 or 11 days got me past the detox phase with out much trouble (except the sleep part). I have never even been much of a drinker or even weed (I hate smoking actually) but a high THC Indica (I got a script for it) and a couple of shots of good vodka did the trick if I started my day at 6am and aimed for 1am lights out. There are a few more steps after this on my own exit from opiods but as strange as it may sound meth helped. Been 6 months now and no cravings. The only thing I kept was weed cookies as my recreational substance of choice now once every few months.
 
Opiates are very hard to stop! Esp when you have Chronic pain conditions! NY stinks, they don't care if you suffer in pain!!
 
I think there should be an advisory message like this everyone must read before they can view bluelight. The majority of people are looking for answers get only the tip of the iceberg, at first glance it's something amazing and positive, when really the whole of it is cold and dark.

for me drugs have become a symbol of unnessisary suffering
 
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You're right, drugs are a symbol of unnecessary suffering, for you and I at least. I'm glad bluelight is here, I got info here that probably saved my life a few times; if it wasn't here I'd of made some really reckless final mistakes. Back then I would've never listened to any advisory message on any website because back then I KNEW i was never going to have problems with substance use and addiction. As a matter of fact, if I had to read one to get into the site I'd probably have dipped out and tried somewhere else.
People hate being patronized, especially addicts like me because we feel so smart and exceptional before we recognize just how fucked we've made ourselves. I'm glad bluelight doesn't preach like that, the attitude here is "don't do it, but if you wont listen and will do it anyway, here's the safest way to do it" and that's so valuable to me now. Besides, 99% of threads surrounding addiction and"hard" drugs are full of people selling those uninitiated into hard use to "Turn back now! All ye who enters will not return!"
harm reduction is the model that i think all drug policy should follow, official or non official....but it should also avoid patronizing people looking for answers by taking the "tut tut tut, you don't know what you're doing" approach.
Just to be clear though, bluelught doesn't do this and that's why I love this site so much.
 
There Does seem to be a 'Honey Moon Period' 'Or Short, It Will All End In Tears, Or ??? All Best To You All
 
Am New to Blue light org, looking for advice on how to taper down from 150 mg of morphine per day, Please anyone?
 
Am New to Blue light org, looking for advice on how to taper down from 150 mg of morphine per day, Please anyone?

I'm assuming they come in 15mg or 30mg dosages, so drop that amount, every week or two weeks.

150mg
135mg
120mg
105mg
90mg

...etc
 
It's so sad that there are no programs in the United States to have some sort of free drug recovery program, even if it only would help so many a year and there was a waiting list. I mean you can't get mad if you have to wait, you decided your future when you choose the addiction of your choice. My fiance and I decided we were tired of hurting from the come down tired of giving our hard earned income to our addiction. We agreed to quit cold turkey at the same exact time and be there to support one another no matter what. It wasn't easy, we moved to my mom's, lost our jobs, slowly started eating healthy, taking vitamins, and allot of sleep and gabapentin, oh and smoothie ?king, at least one each a weak, those really helped,then we started talking kratom, kratom helped with pain and withdraws, we couldn't believe it. But stay strong, believe in yourself, and tell yourself you are not going to let your addiction control you of your future, don't give it that kind of power. God made you strong not weak, he made you in his image, and we know God isn't weak,and your not either. Set a date to quit, commit to it, and you will be victorious. Believe in your self. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, if I'm available to talk reach out to me and I will reach back!
 
I need to get off heroin asap i dont even like it i only take it to avoid getting sick as i need to go to work in the mornings i dont even know how this happened im such an idiot i took it cos it helped me sleep what idiot takes heroin to sleep ffs i am such a complete fool. Is there a dextox withdrawl guide i can follow to taper down and then quit i cant get past 2 days cold turkey. Im sure im probably posting the wrong way in the wrong place and im truly sorry im just really desperate for help. Thanks in advance.
 
If someone can pm me that i can talk to or point me in the right direction i would be immensely greatful i need to stop before this gets any worse its already bad enough and people are wondering why im sick all the time etc im sure youve heard it all before i just need to quit in a way that allows me to function enough to go to work in the morning if that is even possible. Sorry for poor grammer etc and double post please excuse me.
 
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