my apologies for the length of this post, but I must post some of my background for people to understand where I am now
I will be 45 years old on May 8, 2016. I do not have to worry about anonymity as all my medication is legally prescribed, I take it as directed, and I take everything Orley as prescribed
When I was 24 years old, I was sitting at a stop light, and an idiot who was talking on their cell phone – yes they were primitive cell phones back then, in a giant pick up truck, rear ended me going 45 to 55 mph. This not break any vertebrae's in my back, but it severely dislocated my spine, and I had to spend several weeks, interaction, in the hospital... Not to mention the major whiplash and other issues that come along with a sudden impact. After I healed, it was found that the accident caused my L4/L5 disc to be completely squished and all of the Gel stuff pushed out... All that remains today is a dried up, desiccated husk. For most of my life my back did not bother me – except it would go out now and then… And when I mean out – I mean I could barely even walk to the bathroom. This would happen about 1 to 2 times a year, I would go to the doctor and get a shot of Demerol, go home, sleep, and I would wake up the next day fine because the pain cycle was broken. This worked for many years until I moved and then I encounter doctors that didn't even want to give me a shot when it periodically went out so I had to miss work for 4 to 6 weeks at a time, and that cause me to lose jobs. Eventually I learned to just deal with the pain so I wouldn't lose a job and I push through it - even if it meant that I had to go into my office at work and lay down on the floor and cry for 10 minutes
Fast forward to 2007, I tripped over a route in my backyard and tear out the Cartlidge in my right knee, between 2007 and 2015, I have had six surgeries on my knee. My knee aches 24 seven and hurts to even walk on it. This aches 24 seven with a pain scale six, and when I sit it is about a 7.5. Sitting is the worst possible thing I can do – but I have to sit up otherwise I'm in bed all day – or on the couch all day.
Into thousand 13 I fell down two flights of stairs and ended up breaking 12+ bones in my left hand and tearing at least a dozen ligaments and tendons, and completely ripping one of the muscles/tendon off my middle finger.... I saw over 10 surgeons and no surgeon would operate on my hand – they all said surgery would make it worse and I should just go to physical therapy. I now have about 80% use of my hand, but if I use it for anything, I'm in horrific pain within about 10 minutes, and it also takes 24 hours a day - seven days a week at a pain level of seven
i'm also on 9/11 survivor and I don't need to go into all of that details – suffice to say I came out of it with a severe case of Agoraphobia and only regular Clonopin lets me go outside, but that wasn't treated until 2008.
From 2003-2008 I was on 37.5mg tramadol for my back. By 2008, it no longer was effective.
2008 is all where it started
i got a new GP who put me on 0.5mg clonopin, 3X/day so I could drive and go out side. Then he RXed me 30 Xanax pills to take only as needed 0.5mg otherwise I couldn't drive over bridges and overpasses. I felt like I'd fall to the sky.
My my knee issue started in 2008.
The specialists to me to take Tylenol and ibuprofen which have little to no pain killing effects. This annoyed my GP, and he took over my pain management as well as my agoraphobia cuz my ins didn't cover seeing a shrink. But they did cover the pills and accepted his diagnosis.
He he told me nothing could b done for my back. Only spinal fusion or drugs. But he said within 3-5 yrs laparoscopic back surgery would be approved and that had HIGH success rates. To this day it's still in trials. He told me I'd end up addicted to stuff but when I got fixed, he step me down. That was SEVEN YEARS ago. After becoming more and more tolerant to pain meds, they kept changing and increasing. Same with my benzopines ... But not much. Then SOMA was added two years ago to help back pain and spasms. I was put in the hospital for a nasty case of walking pneumonia, and they FREAKED at my medication list. A nurse and 2 Drs said " how can you function taking all that? How can you be concious?!" I was there for 4 days and they only gave me 1/3rd of all my meds. So I was in moderate withdrawal the whole time which made it difficult to heal
here is a partial list of my relevant meds:
1) Opana (Oxymorphone) ER, 40mg, 2X/day like clock work - takes the edge off the constant pain - reduces pain by 20%
2) Oxycodone (Roxicodone) IR, 30mg, 3X/day - controls pain so I can work and do things - reduces pain by 40%
3) SOMA (Carisoprodol), 350mg, 3X/day - controls pain. 20% reduction.
4) Voltaren Gel (diclofenac sodium - non narcotic topical gel). Reduces back pain by 90% within minutes, but only lasts 20min.
5) Clonopin (basically Xanax ER), 1mg, 3X/day
6) Xanax (Alprazolam), 1mg, 1X/day
that just pain meds. I'm on 4 more for BPH, thyroid, lasix (I have edema in my legs. Mostly the left
These me once dropped my pain to 0, but I'm becoming tolerant and he won't up the dosage or the number. Plus this is as much as my ins will pay.
I was was starting to get tollerant a year ago, but when he added the soma to the mix, something magical happened. 1 opana, 1 Oxy, and 1 clonopin got to the point where they barely worked. Once I added a soma to that mix, it ALL CHANGED. Those 4 in combo got me FLYING HIGH for 6-9 months. High like when given 4mg morphine IV for the first time and never taken a narcotic b4. All my pain ...GONE. THIS worked great..but after 9 months it started to fade. So I took 2 soma with that mix, I flew high with 0 pain for only a few months. That created a HUGHE, NASTY issue.
My my body got used to the combo. Each drugs if I take it by itself, does NOTHING. An opana, soma, Xanax or clonopin works or a Oxy, soma, Xanax / clonopin works...but unless that minimum "triad" is used, I get ZERO effect. I can pop 4 Oxys solo (120mg)...NOTHING.... I CAN take 3 soma solo. NOTHING. same with my benzos
i think my Dr accidentally created a drug interaction by body got used to and now I'm SCREWED as can't take the meds separate. Every time I take my meds, I must take the trio or quartet for it to work... In 6 months even THAT won't work.
I habe a be an electrical heart issue and can only tolerate MILD withdrawal. My dr is going to try to step all 4 down at once....SLOWLY...but that will take 6+ months with NOTHING for my pain. He said the benzos may take 1-2 yrs.
so how do I control my pain and not end up getting back here again ? My knee will be fixed in 3 months so that pain will b gone, but my back And hand can't be. Do I look to getting the pain nerves forever blocked?
god help me if my Dr moved out of town , died, etc. most DRs would try to rapid detox me which would b fatal.
)
. Much love
