3 most shameful things that you have ever done, in order!!!

[acidhermione]

1) Apostate


And everything else was a direct consequence of the above.

 

[YellowPolkaDotHalo]

* hangs head in shame *

So what have you done about it then?

 

[parttime crackhead]

1) Apostate


And everything else was a direct consequence of the above.

If I understand the definition of that correctly, the most shameful thing you've done is reject all the lies you were told as a child? Well done.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Oh dear, oh dear; where do i fucking start?
In order of chronology rather than severity:
1) introduced my girlfriend (i was 29, she was 23) to heroin and crack - resulting in a 13 year (ongoing) habit for her (mine's been 18 years)
2) Sold my house for a 56 grand profit. Did I put money in my kids' accounts? Did I put money away for the future and/or set up a decent pension for us? No, I/we went on a massive smack and crack binge for 2 years while fraudulently claiming benefits for social housing (i was working full time as well so the actual amount wasted was considerably more).
3) After getting over No.2 and getting back on my feet; buying a g of phenazepam for 20 quid, losing 2 weeks of my life, losing my bike, getting picked up by the police for being comatose on the street on several occasions ( as well as the phenazepam I was taking 60mg methadone/day, about 5mg etizolam/day and drinking upto a bottle of vodka/day - I don't understand why I'm still alive). Then finally getting sacked from my 10 year job because I was so obviously off my tits at work (I failed a drug test for THC, Benzos, Barbiturates?, heroin and methadone).

oh yeah, I also once badly o/d'd on heroin and clonazepam and my 2 year old daughter was screaming her head off while watching my friends trying to bring me round. I then woke up in hospital to find my girlfriend telling me I'd O/D'd to which I replied 'wow, that must have been good shit', to the obvious disdain of the doctor who had just administered the naloxone.

these are the events I am most shameful of - there are loads more I regret. however, I'd like to add that although I'm still a fuckwit, my kids are doing really well at school and regularly get 'pupil of the week'. As long as my kids are ok that's all that really matters to me.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

oh yeah, I forgot that since losing my job I've been nicked for shoplifting booze from Bargain Booze and Asda - and got off with a caution, which is unreal considering I've been lifting 1/2 a bottle of vodka nearly everyday for the past 3 years - honestly, the security there are fucking shite....... Which is not to say I condone what I did - I was very lucky but am glad I got caught because god knows where that lifestyle would have led me.

Still, the benefit of hindsight eh?

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Shit, I also meant to say (sorry, but I can't edit posts on my phone) that phenazepam is one of the few drugs that I'm happy to see banned - it's the only drug that I don't think that anyone can use responsibly...

 

[matt<3ketamine]

1) becoming addicted to opiates from a young age (proudest thing ive done was getting off them)

2) causing a massive fight between 2 very dear friends of mine, attacking them with personal info online (big no-no), i became the biggest cunt ever to them and still feel like shit for it to this day even tho ive been forgiven, will never act like that ever again which is a positive outcome atleast

3) feeding a friend loads of drugs and influencing him on what to take and getting him really into the drug world, now he has lost his mind and in a way i feel its my fault even tho he was the one that was taking the stuff and wanting it, i just want him to turn back to normal, i cant be around him now as it just makes me sad seeing him throw his life away, i wont give him anything now, no more fuel for the house on fire

 

[i against i]

these are the events I am most shameful of - there are loads more I regret. however, I'd like to add that although I'm still a fuckwit, my kids are doing really well at school and regularly get 'pupil of the week'. As long as my kids are ok that's all that really matters to me.

props for this bro.

 

[SpecialK_]

3) feeding a friend loads of drugs and influencing him on what to take and getting him really into the drug world, now he has lost his mind and in a way i feel its my fault even tho he was the one that was taking the stuff and wanting it, i just want him to turn back to normal, i cant be around him now as it just makes me sad seeing him throw his life away, i wont give him anything now, no more fuel for the house on fire

Is all I can say mate. Never, ever blame yourself and I wanna make that clear to you, these things happen and we push through them as hard as they are. Buttered for life! No fucking limits eh?

In fact that entire post respect to you man. Glad to hear your off them mate and I hope you're well, naive oxycontin days were never good and you should be fucking proud of ditching them! Takes balls and mentality, especially when you essentially grew up in them. Much love and miss ya baio.

 

[cherrycolouredfunk]

All of mine relate to people now dead. Killing is regretful after all.

Lawdy lawdy. Things you admit on the internet (part two).

Yes, it's incredibly difficult to live with guilt over someone who has died, constantly thinking that maybe if you'd said something, hadn't done something they'd be alive.

So nice you seem able to make a joke about something that hurts me.

 

[Glowing aaron]

One that instantly springs to mind, saturday night through till sunday lunch time with a fair amount of coke then drone. About 1 decided to take 4mg etizolam i think, then forgot that i was supposed to be at the girlfriends parents for a BBQ in the afternoon. Managed to make it looking a complete mess but was keeping it together untill i decided it would be fine to have a few tins, and then some more tins. Ended up causing a massive argument with the girlfriend right in front of everyone ruining the whole thing! Then proceeded to walk home only to vaguely remember waking up in the back of said girlfriends parents car, apparently found stumbling around on the path like a zombie. Awkward next morning that's for sure! Should of pulled a sicky!

 

[TheSpade]

Yes, it's incredibly difficult to live with guilt over someone who has died, constantly thinking that maybe if you'd said something, hadn't done something they'd be alive.

So nice you seem able to make a joke about something that hurts me.

Remember what we were talking about yesterday, people doing and saying (or not doing and saying) things aren't necessarily aimed at you personally. People don't often think of others when they do something. SHM was just making a lighthearted comment clearly and not trying to upset or offend you.

 

[jancrow]

^ This also, we've all lost people. If you feel responsible for someone's demise I can see that you might not like reading that in this particular thread, context and all that, but it's not aimed at you.

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

So nice you seem able to make a joke about something that hurts me.

SHM was just making a lighthearted comment clearly and not trying to upset or offend you.

^ This also, we've all lost people. If you feel responsible for someone's demise I can see that you might not like reading that in this particular thread, context and all that, but it's not aimed at you.

Yeah sorry H, wasn't aimed at you but I can see how you thought it was. FWIW I have enough to remind me of my own mortality right now and baulk a bit myself when I read the odd "wish I was dead" comment on here.

Funny thing life/death.

 

[matt<3ketamine]

Is all I can say mate. Never, ever blame yourself and I wanna make that clear to you, these things happen and we push through them as hard as they are. Buttered for life! No fucking limits eh?

In fact that entire post respect to you man. Glad to hear your off them mate and I hope you're well, naive oxycontin days were never good and you should be fucking proud of ditching them! Takes balls and mentality, especially when you essentially grew up in them. Much love and miss ya baio.

just hope that with us pushing through the hard times, 'the house on fire' can too even if it doesnt seem likely summers just round the corner so hopefully all the winter blues will diminish and wrecking mode will be in full swing then :D bring on the festivals! butter fo sho, no limits! keep er country! all that jazz

as for the oxy, glad i got out of it now, supplies are starting to run short it seems and eventually they will end so someone will have to deal with that head-on/cold turkey, but as usual, im still there to pick up the pieces and help rebuild, hopefully it will be for the better, takes something terrible to happen for something good to come of it sadly, oh and btw, he still always asks how you are mate should visit him sometime out of the blue, would probably make his day :D

 

[badandwicked]

Yeah sorry H, wasn't aimed at you but I can see how you thought it was. FWIW I have enough to remind me of my own mortality right now and baulk a bit myself when I read the odd "wish I was dead" comment on here.

Funny thing life/death.

Hope all is well with you SHM, genuinely, and if its not i hope it soon will be. I won't put a heart emoticon cos that would be pushing it a bit

 

[Acid4Blood]

oh yeah, I also once badly o/d'd on heroin and clonazepam and my 2 year old daughter was screaming her head off while watching my friends trying to bring me round. ...... however, I'd like to add that although I'm still a fuckwit, my kids are doing really well at school and regularly get 'pupil of the week'. As long as my kids are ok that's all that really matters to me.

Glad to hear it!

 

[cherrycolouredfunk]

Yeah sorry H, wasn't aimed at you but I can see how you thought it was. FWIW I have enough to remind me of my own mortality right now and baulk a bit myself when I read the odd "wish I was dead" comment on here.

Funny thing life/death.

Tis fine. I can see that now, in the mood I was in last night though I couldn't. Think I'm just a bit too emotionally raw for Bluelight at the moment.

I get the sense from your reply that you're not doing too well either, take care.

Remember what we were talking about yesterday, people doing and saying (or not doing and saying) things aren't necessarily aimed at you personally. People don't often think of others when they do something. SHM was just making a lighthearted comment clearly and not trying to upset or offend you.

You're right again Spade, two wise comments about something i've said twice in two days I should woman up and stop being so sensitive and always on the defensive. The sunshine over there's having a nice effect on you, soak up some vitamin D for me!

 

[TheSpade]

I don't see the sun, it doesn't come out at night.

 

[jancrow]

... and anyway it burns up your pale skin like a Gremlin in a microwave....