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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

3 most shameful things that you have ever done, in order!!!

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I was a total cunt with my mother when I was a teen, smoking weed in the house and that. I used to argue like fuck then I would go upstairs and smash my room up. She kicked me out when I was 17, then I realised what I had lost and I soon seen the error of my ways after losing my home. We get along fine now but it kills me to think of the way I used to behave I feel constant guilt. I am thankful that she kicked me out, it taught me a lesson I won't forget

I am so ashamed of that, really depresses me to think about it.
 
I think once you stop regretting you stop learning and enacting the lessons from said regret. You only need the finest strand of the initially large amount of regret left to carry on using that regret to better yourself, but it has to be present.
 
Danny Weed said:
I was a total cunt with my mother when I was a teen, smoking weed in the house and that. I used to argue like fuck then I would go upstairs and smash my room up. She kicked me out when I was 17, then I realised what I had lost and I soon seen the error of my ways after losing my home. We get along fine now but it kills me to think of the way I used to behave I feel constant guilt. I am thankful that she kicked me out, it taught me a lesson I won't forget

I am so ashamed of that, really depresses me to think about it.
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My advice would be to talk it out. You've no idea the wonders it will do and your mother probably has a completely different perception of it, to some extent.
 
Danny Weed said:
I was a total cunt with my mother when I was a teen, smoking weed in the house and that. I used to argue like fuck then I would go upstairs and smash my room up. She kicked me out when I was 17, then I realised what I had lost and I soon seen the error of my ways after losing my home. We get along fine now but it kills me to think of the way I used to behave I feel constant guilt. I am thankful that she kicked me out, it taught me a lesson I won't forget

I am so ashamed of that, really depresses me to think about it.
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all the things you did are ok though. I mean they're not, but they are

what we tend not to do often enough imo, is tell the other person about those lessons learned. we don't appreciate one another enough verbally ... and say, 'ya know what, you're ace. you put up with my shit, you dealt with the time i was an X, and you took me back' or whatever.

it can often be intense or embarrassing, but it makes a difference when you get into the habit of doing it. they often don't know, unless you tell em. and it can also be a great personal relief of the burden of guilt for you to know the other person knows you genuinely appreciate them and understand what they went through

it's been a great anxiety relief for me over the years. and helps towards reducing personal stress and regret, as well as reducing that horrible nagging feeling you carry around that means you can't always look a certain person in the eyes
 
I can only really think of one thing that I've done that I am truly ashamed of,but I feel so bad about it that it should count as three things if not more.
When my wife passed away i was in the height of my heroin addiction & was injecting at least 5 times a day.
On the day of her funeral I woke up clucking and had to spend an hour or so before the funeral trying to score some gear.
I've never really forgiven myself for not having the strength to go to her funeral without having had a hit first. I should have for that one day at least forgotten about scoring.
 
Danny Weed said:
I was a total cunt with my mother when I was a teen, smoking weed in the house and that. I used to argue like fuck then I would go upstairs and smash my room up. She kicked me out when I was 17, then I realised what I had lost and I soon seen the error of my ways after losing my home. We get along fine now but it kills me to think of the way I used to behave I feel constant guilt. I am thankful that she kicked me out, it taught me a lesson I won't forget

I am so ashamed of that, really depresses me to think about it.
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Its never too late to stroll up to her, look her in the eye and say how you're really really sorry & how you feel bad to this day, ask her forgiveness and give her a massive hug. You know its cool, she knows its cool, sometimes it just helps to say it many years on and when you've both grown as people. I think they call it closure. I bet you can give me at least 5 reasons why this won't happen ;)
 
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Danny Weed said:
I was a total cunt with my mother when I was a teen, smoking weed in the house and that. I used to argue like fuck then I would go upstairs and smash my room up. She kicked me out when I was 17, then I realised what I had lost and I soon seen the error of my ways after losing my home. We get along fine now but it kills me to think of the way I used to behave I feel constant guilt. I am thankful that she kicked me out, it taught me a lesson I won't forget

I am so ashamed of that, really depresses me to think about it.
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I wouldn't let it trouble you too much. You'll have your own kids being little pricks soon enough. I appologised to my mum for all the stuff i've done over the years, and she wasn't the slightest bit interested in my appology because she said it was to be expected.
 
I've done loads of embarrassing and stupid stuff when drunk / on drugs but nothing springs to mind right now that I'm gonna care about for life.
 
TheSpade said:
I've done loads of embarrassing and stupid stuff when drunk / on drugs but nothing springs to mind right now that I'm gonna care about for life.
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it's okay. we can recall 1000 things that you've done, and that you're still doing that are insanely embarrassing.

feel free to ask if you ever want your memory jogged :)
 
TheSpade said:
I've done loads of embarrassing and stupid stuff when drunk / on drugs but nothing springs to mind right now that I'm gonna care about for life.
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shit I was looking forward to some proper salacious shit when I saw your name appear on this thread :(
 
I might be ashamed for a day or two but fuck it who cares, only live once. I will probably regret when on my death bed I didn't take more chances in life, I over think everything and talk myself out of doing things sometimes, wish I could sort that out. I feel like I've taken some risk / chances and made some progress to doing stuff that I really want to do in life but still got a long way to go.

Thats cos you're still in the throes of your embarrassing and stupid phase. People tend to regret the past more than the present Give it 10 years.
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I can't see how I'll look back in 10 years time and be really ashamed of anything I've done in the past, if there was any shame it would be nearer to when it happened. In ten years time it'll be forgotten about or I just won't care.
 
TheSpade said:
I can't see how I'll look back in 10 years time and be really ashamed of anything I've done in the past, if there was any shame it would be nearer to when it happened. In ten years time it'll be forgotten about or I just won't care.
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What I mean is, what if in 10 years you look back and identify behaviour as being regretful that you didn't recognise at the time, aka now? As MSB says, this depends on your ability to grow as a human being. What are you now, 17? 18? I like to think you'll develop a deeper awareness & understanding of life as you mature <3
 
Why would I regret going on a massive fucking holiday and having the time of my life instead of slaving away at a call centre? :?

You know fine I'm not 17 or 18, I'm 27. No fucking regrets about this period of my life.

I like to think you'll develop a deeper awareness & understanding of life as you mature
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Are you aware of how much of a condescending know it all you come across as?
 
i regret, and am deeply ashamed of a few things i did in me early 20's.

the regret and shame, and realisation of what I'd done, didn't come til much more recently.
 
I'm with Marmz on this one, or I'd (still) be a jibbering wreck.

Ther is a great deal of difference between knowing something you did was shameful and being ashamed of it., you can't carry all the baggage with you, it will eventually pull you to s stand still and you won't be moving forward.

I've done things I know where wrong and I'm sure I'll do more things that are wrong, you can only keep moving on, trying not to hurt people or do harm, along the way, Acceptance that you have done wrong is what is key and the trying to understand why, although there are time when that may not be important.

Ultimately you can't change what you have done and sometimes you will never receive reconciliation or forgiveness, these are really mainly self serving anyhow. You have to learn to live with your wrong doings and try and learn from them and be a better person for them.

Most of the things that I'm really ashamed of are far to specific to be posted, don't get me wrong I carry a shit load of shame and self loathing but it doesn't so anything for the people I've wronged, in fact in many cases it makes things even worse:\

I'm not going to delete all that but it's really not as bad as it sounds ...I hope;)
 
yeah, whut yella said atm.

for me, this is an area where psychedelics have been most useful to me. both E and shrooms, but mainly shrooms. taking shrooms and thinking about the situations and behaviour I've regretted has been so cathartic, mainly because shrooms instantly brought down the subconscious defense mechanisms I was using to avoid thinking about whatever situation or relationship I didn't want to think about. while at the same time not leaving me feel totally exposed or negative (which I find LSD does).

shrooms give you the empathy flood you need just at the right time when thinking about regretful events, so you can both see the situation honestly (due to neutralising of your defense mechanisms), and then also be totally free to feel empathy for the other person and what they went through,

... or just see the reality of a shitty choice you made and why you made it, no longer needing to mask or cover for the reasons you didn't want to acknowledge

it can be devastating to do at the time, but the empathy flood of shrooms also neutralises that mortified feeling you get with those kinds of realisations, and it kinda just makes you insanely grateful for knowing it ... makes you relieved, unburdened and also ultimately insanely positive because of the combination of those factors means you know that you'll no longer ever ever do whatever it was again.

i occasionally take shrooms just to push a situation around in my head, one I know that's been bothering me (because of sleep nightmares or whatever) .. and almost try to force it out

anyone remember seeing the Bruce Parry episode for what I think was his tribe series? the one he took Ibogaine in? awesome episode. when he came round he recounted various scenarios about his past that he'd suddenly been able to clearly see the devastation and unpleasantness he'd inflicted on some of his ex GF's, and expressed that as soon as he got back home he was going to call them and let them know he knew.

I can see why it's seen as being useful to get some people off their addictions, as it facilitates the ability to clearly see how much their behaviour is negatively affecting those close to them, those things that are impossible to observe when you're knee deep in shit and understandably self-absorbed

The main reason the 'no regrets' thing is highly questionable to me, is because the person saying that has basically skipped the step where they learn to empathise with the other people who were affected by the regretable behaviour. it's an auto 'get out of jail free' card which means you instantly just gloss and paper over your personal pain and guilt, at the expense of not making mental amends with yourself first ... [edit] and this also means that they are more likely to repeat past behaviour
 
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